


Illicit Affairs

by yeonjunsdarling



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Based on a Taylor Swift song lol, Best Friends Choi Beomgyu & Choi Yeonjun, Confused Choi Yeonjun, Cuddling & Snuggling, Divorce, Eventual Happy Ending, Everybody is Bad at Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Kissing, Lots of kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining Choi Yeonjun, Platonic Relationships, Possibly Unrequited Love, References to Depression, Sad Choi Soobin, Sad Choi Yeonjun, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Soft Choi Soobin, enemies to lovers I guess, first fic be kind thank u, idk what else to tag so, lots of cameos because im annoying, side taegyu, soobin works at a bakery, there is a home wrecker, yeonjun doesn't have it easy im sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:07:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 76,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29221434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeonjunsdarling/pseuds/yeonjunsdarling
Summary: Soobin doesn’t know much about Yeonjun other than his bad reputation that everybody at campus speaks about.Yeonjun doesn’t know much about Soobin other than that his best friend, Beomgyu, has a crush on him.The two have managed to keep their distance until circumstances force them to befriend each other for a group project.It shouldn’t be that complicated.Until it is.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 169
Kudos: 359





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> hi (:
> 
> this is my first fic and i'll be updating it regularly. it's already finished at 104k words so i hope to post twice a week.
> 
> quick thank yous to three people who i rly love:
> 
> aishy for inspiring me to write and believing in me (and also for beta reading ig) & my two best friends iman and tashalia who always gave me the best reactions and motivated me with each chapter. 
> 
> anyways i hope you enjoy!!
> 
> (ps: i update every monday and friday!!)

**Chapter One**

“Hyung? Are you even listening to us?” 

Soobin’s head snaps to his friends and he smiles apologetically. 

“Sorry, got sidetracked. What were you saying?” 

Taehyun shakes his head but continues to speak. “I said don’t you think he’s cute?”

Soobin turns his head to where Taehyun points and frowns. 

Across the lecture hall, two boys sit separate from the rest of the class. One is taller, with black hair almost long enough to be a mullet and he has clear circular glasses sit on his nose. He sits next to a smaller boy with silver-like hair who talks animatedly.

Soobin recognizes the two as Yeonjun and Beomgyu.

Normally classes would be big enough that Soobin wouldn’t know anybody’s names other than his two friends. However, since enough people have dropped out, he’s begun to pick up on names and faces easier.

Yeonjun is difficult to not know.

No matter who you’re friends with, chances are that they have a story to tell you about Yeonjun. Not all of them are kind stories either. Soobin heard from a friend that Yeonjun had hooked up with a girl to get her notes and ghosted her the very next day. There were just one too many stories for Soobin’s liking so he’d stayed away from the boy all together.

Beomgyu on the other hand was friendly with everybody. He greeted Soobin and spoke to him briefly on more than one occasion. As friendly as he was though, he latched onto Yeonjun more than anybody else. The two seemed to go everywhere together, much like Soobin with Taehyun and Kai.

“What’s with the face?” Kai teases. 

Soobin rolls his eyes and glances back down at his notes. They’re in class waiting for their psychology lecturer to arrive but fifteen minutes have passed and he still hasn’t made an appearance. Kai and Taehyun have been talking in the meantime with Soobin occasionally pitching in.

“He just has beef with Yeonjun,” Taehyun explains with a tsk.

At the mention of the other’s name, Soobin’s face scrunches up causing Kai to giggle. 

“What’s your problem with him anyway? And I wasn’t talking about Yeonjun-ssi by the way, I meant his friend,” Taehyun starts packing his things away when it’s clear that the lecturer has no intentions of appearing.

Soobin sighs and follows suit, packing his stationary into his bag. “I’ve just heard... a lot about him, not all of it good.”

“If I listened to what people said about you, we wouldn’t be friends Hyung,” Kai admits.

Soobin glares at him as they get up to shuffle out of the venue. 

Taehyun’s eyes linger on the pair long enough that the smaller one, Beomgyu, catches his eye and waves. The two of them also seem to have given up on the lecture.

Taehyun waves back coolly but Soobin doesn’t miss the way his ears tinge red. Soobin’s eyes drift to Yeonjun who looks as uninterested as ever. In fact, Soobin‘s pretty sure the only time that bored look ever left his face was when Beomgyu spoke to him.

It rather annoys Soobin.

“It’s not just what people say,” Soobin explains once they’re out of earshot. “Rumors aside, he comes off as arrogant and snobbish.” 

“I thought you were mean the first time we met,” Kai says pointedly.

Soobin swats his arm as they walk, “Brat. I’m just reserved in front of people I don’t know.” 

Kai rubs his arm ruefully. “ _Aish_ Hyung! I know you forget but you hit hard. Have you seen the size of your hand? Anyway, I know you’re shy now but that’s my point. I didn’t know you were shy and it came off as rude. Maybe it’s the same for him.” 

The three of them flop down onto the grass of the lawns outside the library. 

It’s sunny outside and the heat would’ve been unbearable if not for the cool breeze that blows every now and then.

“Kai’s right, you know. For once,” Taehyun says. He ducks out of the way as Kai moves to smack him. Soobin turns his head and shields his eyes as he looks at Taehyun. The red hair he’s sporting makes it difficult to look at him in the bright light.

“You can’t just judge people based on what you think they’re like because of some rumors, Hyung,” he says.

“But how do so many bad rumors spread about one person? It doesn’t make sense, he must be doing something dodge if more than one person is saying so. Also why are you defending him? I thought you liked his friend?” 

Taehyun sighs. “Nevermind, Hyung. Did you do any research for the essay yet? I’ve been struggling...” 

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“Hyung, I think I might _die_ ,” Beomgyu groans.

Yeonjun looks up from his laptop to spare a look at the younger who’s sprawled out dramatically on his bed. 

“It’s an essay, BG not a death sentence,” Yeonjun says after returning to his screen. His concentration is broken again by Beomgyu’s head blocking his screen. The younger’s rather round head shields Yeonjun’s view of the article he‘s reading. He stares into Beomgyu’s puppy dog eyes and tugs on his hair playfully. 

“Yah okay BG you have my attention now.”

Beomgyu breaks out into a smile and moves his face away as Yeonjun closes his laptop. 

Yeonjun shifts on the bed so that he’s sitting cross legged and opposite Beomgyu who always seems to vibrate with a never ending energy. 

“Did you see? He looked at me today!” Beomgyu yells.

“Who?” Yeonjun asks fully knowing who Beomgyu’s referring to.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes and nudges Yeonjun. 

“Soobin-ssi!” He exclaims.

“Ahh...” Yeonjun trails off with little enthusiasm. 

He’s well aware of Beomgyu’s long-standing crush on the tall boy in their psychology class. He’s just not particularly fond of it.

Yeonjun has caught Soobin frowning at him more than once. He‘s sure it has to do with those stupid rumors but Beomgyu insists that Yeonjun‘s imagining it and not everybody hates him. 

Yeonjun would’ve agreed if not for the fact that he notices all too well how the conversation suddenly stops when he walks up to a group of people. There‘s also the matter that he has seen people go out of their way to sit as far away from him as possible.

“Hyung I’m sure he’s smart enough not to believe those stupid rumors,” Beomgyu says as if reading Yeonjun’s mind. Yeonjun isn’t surprised. Out of everybody he knows, and it isn’t an extensive list, Beomgyu knows him best. 

“I bet you’d have a better chance of approaching him if you weren’t my friend though,” Yeonjun jokes. 

Yeonjun isn’t blind. He sees how Beomgyu naturally attracts people and he knows that Beomgyu would have more friends if he didn’t associate himself with Yeonjun.

Yeonjun doesn’t care that people don’t want to be his friend.

He does care about holding Beomgyu back.

Beomgyu frowns and sags a little.

“Don’t say that, Hyung. You’re my best friend. I’d rather have just one of you than ten other friends. YJ and BG, it’s always been like that.” 

Yeonjun smiles at the younger and ruffles his hair, “I’m just kidding BG. Are you getting soft on me?”

Beomgyu grunts and swats Yeonjun’s hands away. The two of them forfeit work for the rest of the afternoon and decide to play games instead. When the sky begins to turn orange, Yeonjun gathers his things.

“You sure you don’t want to stay over? You know mum wouldn’t mind.” 

Yeonjun shakes his head, “I have to have dinner with my dad. It’s Thursday remember?”

Beomgyu’s happy expression turns sour, “Do you want me to come with you?” 

Yeonjun laughs but there’s not much humor to it. “You know I’d love you to be there with me so I don’t have to suffer alone but you know my dad. Maybe next time.” 

Beomgyu sighs and Yeonjun nudges him. “Hey it’s okay. I’ll only be there for an hour.” 

Yeonjun can still see the doubt in Beomgyu’s eyes so he pulls him into a quick hug. “I’ll text you after,” Yeonjun assures him. 

Beomgyu hugs him back before leading Yeonjun out. 

He hops into his car and reluctantly makes his way to his dad’s house.

Yeonjun hates using his car.

He feels a little guilty that he does too. Lots of kids would kill to have a car, let alone a convertible. But he only has the car because of his dad and he’s grown to hate anything his dad gives him. His dad only gifted it to him because he didn’t want his son walking around town like some “poor person.” 

Yeonjun would’ve refused but his mom insisted he take it. She wants Yeonjun to live a good life and thinks she’d be embarrassing him by letting him use her old Sedan. Yeonjun tried explaining to her that he doesn’t care about stuff like that but she wouldn’t listen so he reluctantly accepted the car.

By the time he arrives at his dad’s obnoxious mansion, Yeonjun’s mood has only gotten worst. He waits impatiently in the driveway for somebody to buzz him in and eventually parks next to one of the five other cars outside the house. 

He doesn’t bother knocking and throws the door open, slipping his shoes off in the process.

He flashes his dad’s butler a smile and a small bow before making his way to the dining room. 

Nobody’s there yet but he seats himself in his usual chair, as far away from his dad as possible, and waits.

He whips his phone out and reads some emails. He frowns at the one and texts Beomgyu about it. 

_Did you see the email about the groups_?

Beomgyu’s reply comes quick.

_Ye. Apparently the professor walked in not long after we left and split the class into groups for a presentation. We’ll be paired with whoever’s remaining. Guess we’ll see next class. rip._

Yeonjun groans. He’d rather die than do group work. It‘s always chaos.

“Yeonjun-ah.” 

His thoughts are interrupted by a woman’s voice. When he looks up he sees his dad’s wife. Yeonjun grimaces as he gets up to greet her.

It’s not that she‘s a terrible person -it‘s the exact opposite. She’s really kind and always makes a point to ask Yeonjun about his interests. If he’s being completely honest, she probably pays more attention to him than his actual dad.

“Sae-eomma, ah it’s nice to see you,” He greets her politely as she gives him a peck on his cheek. She takes her seat opposite him and smiles kindly. She’s about to say something as Yeonjun moves to sit down but she’s interrupted by a high pitched squeal.

A chubby little boy speeds into the room and throws himself at Yeonjun’s legs.

“Yeonie! Yeonie!”

Yeonjun plasters a smile on his face and looks down at his half brother.

Another thing that he feels guilty about. 

It’s not like the boy has done anything to deserve Yeonjun’s secret hate. He’s a sweet boy and seems to look forward to Yeonjun’s visits.

He just looks too much like Yeonjun’s dad for his liking. 

Yeonjun crouches down and hugs him. 

“Renjunnie! You’re bigger than you were last week!” 

The little boy beams at the compliment and bursts into a fit of giggles as Yeonjun tickles his tummy. 

“Yeonjun,” comes a deeper voice.

Yeonjun’s smile falters when he hears his father. He stands up and regards his dad, trying his best to not glower at him. He gives him a curt nod and gently peels Renjun off of his legs so he can sit down again. 

His father takes the head of the table as usual with Renjun on his left and Seri on his right.

The dinner almost goes relatively smooth for once. Yeonjun blocks out most of their conversation and answers any questions Seri‘s kind enough to ask with; “Yes”, “No,” or “I don’t know.”

Almost.

“...your mother, Yeonjun,” 

Yeonjun’s head snaps up. “What?”

“I said,” His father repeats, “You should focus more on your studies instead of that dancing you do, I don’t want you to land up like your mother.” 

He says all this matter of factly while cutting his steak. Seri looks at him in alarm and touches his hand. “ _Darling_ -“

But she doesn’t get to finish her sentence because Yeonjun’s already standing up from his seat and moving towards the door. 

“Choi Yeonjun where are you going? We’re not done with dinner.” He ignores his father's stern voice as he slips on his shoes. “YEONJUN If you leave now I will cut off your allowance,” 

At that, Yeonjun pauses. 

It’s not that he needs the allowance. 

He thinks of his mother coming home past seven every day and waking up at five just to make ends meet.

He thinks of her forced smile when he asks if she‘s okay with paying rent on her own, her late night phone calls asking friends for a loan that she doesn’t think he can hear. 

Yeonjun forces himself to turn back around. He moves robotically back to his seat and sits down.

His father smiles. 

Yeonjun resists the urge to reach across the table and strangle him with the silk tie hanging loosely around his throat.

He doesn’t register anything else for the rest of the night and counts slowly, blocking out the background chatter. Seri doesn’t bother asking him more questions and she silences Renjun’s constant questions which he’s thankful for. 

After reaching nine hundred, he’s finally able to leave. He bids his father and everybody else a farewell with a calm he’s surprised he still has and drives home. 

It takes everything in him to not crash the car. 

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“If you were assigned a group yesterday, please separate into them now and begin discussing your project. If you were not, please come to the front as I call out your student number.” 

Soobin grunts. 

Group projects are the worst.

It’s rare to find a solid group to work with - either there’s somebody who wants to take control of everything or nobody seems to want to work. His chances of landing up in a group with Kai and Taehyun are actually pretty high considering how few people there are left to sort. He‘s just worried about who else he might land up with.

He hears his number being called up and flashes a worried look at Taehyun and Kai when two unfamiliar numbers follow his. Nobody gets up though so they must not be in class. Thankfully, after the two unknown numbers he hears Kai and Taehyun’s numbers and he breathes a sigh of relief.

The professor, a skinny man in his late forties with a bushy white beard, frowns when he realizes only three out of the five numbers he’s called are present.

He lets out an annoyed huff. “Alright, go to the back of the class. I’ll direct your two remaining members there if they decide to pitch today.”

With that, the trio shuffles to where the professor pointed and settles their belongings on the desk near the back of the room. 

“At least we’re together,” Kai says once they’ve organized their chairs into a little circle. 

“Yeah, it’ll be easy to work with the three of us no matter who the other two are,” Taehyun reasons. 

He rests his head on Kai’s shoulder and yawns. 

“Did you not sleep well?” Soobin asks with a frown. 

Taehyun shakes his head causing his red hair to cover his big eyes. 

“Helped Kai study for Philosophy. We have a test coming up,” he explains.

Kai pats Taehyun’s head affectionately, “Sorry Hyung, but at least I know what’s going on now.”

Soobin smiles at the two. He can’t picture what his life would be like without them. He cherishes their little trio more than he can begin to explain.

Everything is easy with Kai and Taehyun. In the past, Soobin didn’t have the best luck with friends. He had a long list of friends who had left him and excluded him for numerous reasons; being awkward and not outgoing enough were two of the biggest ones.

People wrote him off as boring because he didn’t go out often. Lots of them even said that he comes off as edgy and anti-social but that’s where they’re wrong. Soobin loves spending time with people, he just needs to recharge every now and then. He also doesn’t mind silently observing people around him and listening instead of talking 24/7.

Lots of people didn’t get that though so it often ended up sour. Taehyun and Kai didn’t seem to care that Soobin didn’t talk much or that he refused some of their invites to go out. They’d pitch up on Soobin’s doorstep with ice-cream and watch movies. Either way, they always seem to end up together. 

“Who are our other two members?” Kai wonders out loud. 

Soobin scoffs. “I don’t know but I’m not looking forward to it. They’re probably going to let us do all the work and take credit for it, I mean they’re not even in class today.” 

Somebody clears their throat loudly behind Soobin. 

“Ah,” A voice says as Soobin whips around. His cheeks redden when he finds Yeonjun and Beomgyu standing there looking at their group. Beomgyu stands with his hands in his pockets, seemingly amused at the situation but Yeonjun seems unimpressed as he eyes Soobin. 

“I can assure you we don’t intend on doing nothing and I’m not one to take credit for work I didn’t do. Can’t trust everybody to do good work now can we,” Yeonjun says bluntly. 

He sets his bag on the desk and sits casually on the table as he looks at the group. 

Soobin wants to crawl into a hole and stay there until this project is over. 

“Knock it off Hyung,” Beomgyu says with a light shove. He smiles at the group apologetically. “Don’t mind YJ, he’s just joking,”

Yeonjun snorts but doesn’t say anything else. 

Taehyun coughs. “YJ?”

Soobin’s sure Taehyun knows that YJ means Yeonjun but he appreciates the younger’s effort to diffuse the tension. 

Beomgyu nods his head and pulls a chair from a nearby table. He places it next to Kai who looks at him with a sheepish look, no doubt still embarrassed by Soobin. 

“Yeah sorry I forgot not everybody knows each other. I think I’ve spoken to you guys before but it’s university so I’m sure you don’t remember. I’m Beomgyu and this is Yeonjun Hyung, or YJ as I call him,” Beomgyu removes the bag from his back as he introduces the two of them. 

“Sunbaenim to you guys,” Yeonjun adds. Soobin would’ve thought he’s serious if not for the eye roll Beomgyu gives him. He has the urge to ask the older if he’s failed before considering he’s older than all of them by the sounds of it but he resists the urge. They’re already off to a rough start and they have an entire project to get through. 

It’s more likely that the older had taken a gap year like Soobin had and maybe worked for another before deciding to study anyway.

Soobin shakes his head to get out of the daze he’s been in since the two arrived. “Ah yeah of course I remember you Beomgyu.” 

Beomgyu beams at that. Before he can respond, Yeonjun chips in. “Nothing memorable about me, Dimples?”

Soobin pauses at the nickname. 

_Actually, I’ve heard lots of memorable things about you. I just don’t want to embarrass you._

He almost opens his mouth to say as much but one look at Yeonjun tells him that’s probably what he’s expecting. 

He stares at Soobin with his head cocked to the side and a slight pout on his plump lips. 

Soobin feels his eye twitch. 

“It’s Soobin, Hyung, and no I haven’t had the pleasure of talking to you much. Anyways, this is Huening Kai and Taehyun,” He gestures to the two boys who smile, still a little unsure of Yeonjun. Soobin makes a point to tell Taehyun _I told you_ so later. 

“Don’t you two also do Philosophy?” Beomgyu asks, gesturing to Kai and Taehyun. 

Soobin can see why the silver haired boy could make friends so easily. He keeps a steady conversation going with the three of them for the rest of the lecture and makes it seem as if he’s known Kai and Taehyun for forever. It‘s easier to talk to him as opposed to Yeonjun who sits quietly and only chips in when Beomgyu asks for his opinion on the project. 

Soobin does try to focus on the project but he swears he can feel Yeonjun’s cat like eyes on him every now and then but whenever he looks at the elder, he finds Yeonjun looking at Beomgyu instead. 

Soobin finds himself thinking about all the rumors he’s heard about Yeonjun as he watches him sit there.

The story about the notes was only one instance. There had been another that Yeonjun had hooked up with multiple girls while he was in a relationship and that he’s really flashy with his money. Soobin could believe that, considering he saw the boy arrive at campus in a fancy convertible. Soobin could’ve ignored all that. Having money isn’t a crime and cheating is shit but it isn’t the worst possible thing a person could do. 

The one that really changed Soobin’s perspective of Yeonjun is when he heard that a girl he’d been hooking up with had said he’d been drinking and things had gotten out of hand.

Soobin hadn’t gotten any more details but it sounded like Yeonjun had gotten physical with the girl. It was enough to make him want to stay away from the boy. He isn’t sure Kai and Taehyun know, but Beomgyu has to with the way he speaks to so many people. 

He doesn’t realize he’s been staring at Yeonjun for some time until Yeonjun finally makes eye contact with him and raises an eyebrow. “Are you planning on answering or?”

Soobin shakes his head and wills the blush creeping up his neck to go away. He ignores the way his friends exchange glances and clears his throat. “Sorry Beomgyu-ah, what were you saying?”

Beomgyu smiles at him. “No worries, Hyung. I was just saying we should probably exchange numbers so we can discuss the project further. Class is about to end.” 

“Ah yeah of course.” 

Soobin, Kai and Taehyun give their numbers to Beomgyu who takes it upon himself to make a group chat. 

When class is over they say their goodbyes and promise to talk more on the group later. 

Soobin, Kai and Taehyun are on their way to Soobin’s car when he hears laughter behind him. He turns around to see that Beomgyu and Yeonjun are not too far behind, completely forgetting that students in the same year share the same parking space. Beomgyu has his arm thrown over Yeonjun’s shoulders and pulls him close so that he can squish his cheek against Yeonjun’s. He has to stand on his toes to do so because of Yeonjun’s height and Yeonjun shoves him off but Soobin can see him crack a small smile. 

Soobin quickly turns around before the two can see him staring.

“Hyung?” He hears Taehyun call. 

“Mhmm?” 

“You’re pulling a face again,” he notes.

Soobin doesn’t say anything as he climbs into his car. It’s nowhere near as fancy as a convertible but it works and that’s all Soobin can be thankful for.

He grips the steering wheel and stares straight ahead. Outside, Kai and Taehyun shove each other as they fight over who gets to ride shotgun. After some bickering, that probably ends with Taehyun putting the younger into a headlock, Taehyun hops into the passenger seat.

Kai climbs into the back seat grudgingly but flicks Taehyun’s ear before darting to the corner of the car where Taehyun can’t reach him. At a first glance, you’d think that Kai has the upper hand. He’s nearly as tall as Soobin now, a steady six foot that’s sure to continue growing and Taehyun is only just five foot ten. But Kai’s nothing other than a giant baby. 

He has a love for plushies and cuddles Taehyun and Soobin whenever they’re stressed. He also insists that they all sleep in one bed during sleepovers despite his large size. Having Kai around feels a lot like having a golden retriever as a pet. 

Taehyun on the other hand is probably the reason the phrase ‘dynamite comes in small packages’ exists. What he lacks in height he definitely makes up in spirit and if Soobin were to call one of the two to help him in a fight, he’d pick Taehyun. He also comes off as intimidating sometimes and Soobin blames it on the younger’s large eyes and quick wit. 

“I’m confused,” he announces to nobody in particular.

Kai and Taehyun stop their bickering to look at Soobin. 

“About?” Taehyun stares at him and it’s true that it always feels like Taehyun is seeing something deeper when he looks at you.

“Yeonjun.” 

Kai pipes up. “Are you upset that he called you out for talking shit, Hyung?”

Soobin glares at the black haired boy in the rearview mirror.

“No, NingNing. I’ve told you both before, I’ve just heard things about him that I’m not sure about.” 

Taehyun sighs. “Look if it’s about that rumor of him ghosting that girl after the notes-“

“It’s not,” He says quickly.

“Well then what is it?” 

Soobin tells them what he heard from the other girl.

Taehyun presses his lips together and the car is silent for a while. 

“I don’t think I want to work with him anymore,” Kai whispers softly. 

Soobin grimaces. “Yeah me neither,” He taps on the steering wheel in thought. “Should we email the professor?”

“Let’s... meet up with them briefly so we can tell them. Yeonjun might be a dick but Beomgyu-ssi deserves to know before we leave them in the dust I think,” Taehyun suggests.

Soobin starts the car, pulling out of the parking lot. The scene of Yeonjun cracking a smile with Beomgyu’s arm around him still plays in the back of his head. He looked so calm it’s suddenly hard for Soobin to picture him getting violent.

 _Nope, stupid thought,_ Soobin thinks to himself.

“Are you sure you’re not just suggesting this because you wanna see Beomgyu again Taehyunnie?” Soobin teases the red head to distract himself.

Kai snickers and though Soobin’s eyes are on the road, he can feel the intensity of Taehyun’s glare on him as he drives. 

“Never mind let’s just email the professor,” Taehyun grumbles. 

“Hyung did you see how he was staring at Beomgyu Hyung earlier?” Kai pipes up.

“ _Aish_ you BRAT I was not staring at him!” Taehyun turns around in his seat to take a swipe at Kai. 

Soobin smiles and listens to the familiar background bickering, any thoughts of Yeonjun wiped clean from his mind.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“Hyungie?” 

Yeonjun’s eyes snap open.

He blinks several times at his laptop that sits open, the word document he was using to work on his essay still open. He leans forward and squints, rubbing his eyes to make sense of what he

was typing, but it seems he must have fallen asleep in the process because there’s a lot of random keyboard smashes and spelling errors.

“You fell asleep,” Beomgyu confirms his thoughts. He reaches out to touch Yeonjun’s shoulder and Yeonjun turns to look at him.

His brows furrow in concern and he pouts at Yeonjun.

“Ah I’m fine Beommie, just a little tired,” he assures his friend.

Beomgyu’s frown deepens.

Okay so maybe Yeonjun’s more than a little tired. 

After he got home from his dad’s last night he found his mom passed out on the couch with the television still on. Nothing was strange about the sight, she’d often wait for Yeonjun to return on 

Thursday’s after he visited his dad but more often than not, she fell asleep waiting.

He’d dutifully carried her to bed and tucked her in after doing a general clean up of the house and retreated to his room afterwards. Feeling too upset to sleep, he’d spent the rest of the night selling his clothes and looking for a job so he could stop relying on his dad.

He felt a little bad about the clothes.

Seri’s made a name for herself in the fashion industry as a designer so she’s always sending Yeonjun expensive clothing. They always fit perfectly and have a knack for complimenting his long legs and skin tone. Yeonjun allows himself to indulge by trying them on once before putting it up for sale. He does it for two reasons: One, he needs the money for his mum and two, even if he didn’t he’d still feel too bad wearing gifts from his stepmom in front of his actual mum. 

He’d selfishly kept one jacket; a big, brown fluffy one. It’s warm and puffy, making him look a lot bigger than he actually is. It isn’t even the best looking out of all the clothing he’s received from Seri by far. But when Yeonjun had tried it on it had brought him a sense of comfort and warmth so he’d allowed himself to keep it. He still avoids wearing it around his mother though.

After he felt like he’d sold enough clothes, Yeonjun had scrolled for hours searching for jobs. It took him a while to find something but eventually he did. It’s a job at a bakery not too far from university. It wasn’t much but it was something so he jotted down the details to tackle later. By the time he’d found the job the birds were chirping outside.

He’d managed maybe half an hour of sleep before he heard his mother waking up in the room beside his to get ready for work.

So yeah, maybe Yeonjun _is_ exhausted.

“Are you gonna stay over? You might as well, we have to meet Soobin Hyung tomorrow and his friends to discuss the project. We might as well stick together,” Beomgyu suggests. 

Yeonjun almost says yes.

If he’s being honest he could use Beomgyu’s company. His visit to his dad last night took a lot more out of him than he anticipated. But the image of his mom coming home to an empty house on the one day she gets off early makes him shake his head. 

“Sorry BG, I can’t leave my mom alone,” he explains with a sad smile.

Beomgyu smacks his forehead. “Aish of course! Sorry Hyung I forgot. I’ll just come to you then.” 

Without waiting for an answer, he hops off the bed and begins packing a bag, already talking at a hundred miles per hour about a tv show he just finished.

Yeonjun can't help but smile a little. He wishes he could have half of Beomgyu’s energy, the boy never seems to run out of it.

“Are you sure BG? You know there’s not a lot to do at my house and it’s Friday…” Yeonjun trails off.

Beomgyu drops the t-shirt he’s folding suddenly and turns around. He places a hand on Yeonjun’s shoulder and looks up at Yeonjun, all the humour and amusement wiped uncharacteristically clean from his face.

Yeonjun raises an eyebrow at the sudden change in attitude but looks down at Beomgyu in concern.

“Yeonjun Hyung,” Beomgyu states very seriously, “Do you hate me? Be honest.”

He yelps when Yeonjun lunges at him and puts him into a headlock to ruffle his head.

“Aish! What have I told about being dramatic you brat!” Yeonjun shuffles sideways as Beomgyu squirms under his tight grip. His foot catches on the fallen t-shirt, causing them both to fall to the floor.

Yeonjun bears the brunt of the fall and lands with a hard _smack_ on the wooden floor. He cushions Beomgyu’s fall who lands on his stomach and knocks the air out of him. Beomgyu bursts into a fit of laughter as he rolls off Yeonjun who wheezes and clutches his stomach.

“I… hate… you....” He manages to choke out in between laughing and gasping for air.

They both lie there on the floor for a while, laughing and regaining their composure only to burst into another fit of giggles.

Eventually Beomgyu gets up on all fours and crawls to where Yeonjun lies with his hand clutching his stomach.

His eyes nearly disappear from the big smile plastered on his face but Yeonjun can still see the sparkle in them as he stares up at Beomgyu.

“Hyung, you know I love you right?” He asks Yeonjun. “No amount of money or dumb rumor can change that.”

It’s this moment that plays through his mind later that night as he lies awake, staring at the younger who’s curled up next to him sound asleep.

There are a lot of things that bother Yeonjun.

He hates his dad, his mum is more of an empty shell than a mother, he’s studying something he’s not invested in and people at university hate him because of a bunch of stupid rumors.

But he brushes a lot of it off.

Sure, some days feel more difficult than others but he knows other people have it worse.

None of it feels as awful as it could be because he has Beomgyu.

He can forgive the world because of the way Beomgyu’s eyes light up every time he sees Yeonjun. 

Almost like everything is worth the struggle if he gets to hold Beomgyu’s hand when he sleeps on nights like this.

He sighs and closes his eyes, pushing away thoughts of money and his dad and focuses on Beomgyu’s light snores instead.

Tomorrow’s another day.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“Can you try to be nicer today?” Beomgyu begs.

Yeonjun looks up from his phone to glance at the younger who looks at him pleadingly.

He places a hand on his chest and fakes being offended. “What do you mean? I’m the _nicest_.”

Beomgyu merely rolls his eyes in response.

They’re sitting in a cafe not too far from university, waiting for Soobin and his two friends to arrive. It’s not too busy for a Saturday morning but there are enough people that the cafe is filled 

with a chorus of boiling kettles and soft chatter from surrounding tables.

“Seriously though, YJ. Are you trying to make them hate you?”

“No,” he replies slightly annoyed. 

Maybe Beomgyu didn’t see it but Yeonjun has become used to people giving him the side eye so he didn’t miss how Soobin kept on glaring at him yesterday.

“What do you like about him anyway?” Yeonjun asks instead.

Sure, Yeonjun gets that Soobin’s handsome - he isn’t dumb. He’s tall with dark hair and dimples, he understands why Beomgyu has a crush on him. But there are lots of tall, good looking boys with dimples on campus. He just doesn’t see why Beomgyu would go for _Soobin_ out of all of them.

Yeonjun says as much and Beomgyu looks at him expectantly. “Oh yeah? Like who?”

“What about that Jaehyun guy? He’s older than us, but I see him around campus often, I think he’s doing his Masters or something. He has dimples.”

Beomgyu swats his arm. “I’m not going after him because of his dimples, YJ,” He pauses. “Jaehyun is cute though, you’re right about that. Too good looking to date though.”

Yeonjun shoots the younger a look and rubs his arm. “Then what is it?”

“Well, have you spoken to him?”

Yeonjun snorts. “How can I when all he does is glare at me?”

Beomgyu sighs. “ _Hyung_ -”

He doesn’t get to answer because just then, the door of the café opens and the trio walks in. 

Their elbows are all linked but they break away once they spot Beomgyu waving them over.

“Soobin Hyung!” Beomgyu exclaims and gets up to greet him.

“Beomgyu-ah,” Soobin says in a manner of greeting.

Yeonjun narrows his eyes.

He doesn’t get up to greet them, opting for a simple wave instead, but he can tell something’s off.

All three of them look nervous, avoiding not just Yeonjun’s eyes, but Beomgyu’s now too. 

Whether he notices and decides to ignore it, Yeonjun doesn’t know but Beomgyu takes his seat next to him and the other three sit opposite them. They barely fit onto the couch. Soobin and Kai are tall enough that they take up half the couch respectively. The smaller one, Taehyun, might as well be sitting on their laps.

“Taehyun-ah, are you okay? You can sit here, YJ and I don’t bite,” Beomgyu jokes.

Taehyun smiles but it seems forced, “Ah it’s okay Hyung,” 

Beomgyu laughs, “Suit yourself then. I’m going to order something and we can start, if that’s okay with you guys?”

They nod and Beomgyu calls the waiter over. 

Yeonjun takes the time to examine them.

If it had just been Soobin avoiding his gaze he would’ve written it off as normal. But the other two seem to purposefully avoid eye contact with him. They were also pretty talkative yesterday, especially Kai, and now they sit in complete silence.

Yeonjun has a feeling it has to do with him.

He grunts and shakes his head.

Why should he care? It’s not the first time people have been unpleasant around him.

He takes a look at Beomgyu who has a small frown on his face as he looks at the trio who all text furiously on their phones. 

_That’s why._

Yeonjun clears his throat to get their attention. 

“What are your majors?” He asks once they look up.

They blink slowly and look at each other as if to make sure they’re not the only one who heard him speak.

“English Literature,” Taehyun answers first.

“Philosophy,” Kai replies.

Yeonjun looks at Soobin who clears his throat and looks just past Yeonjun’s shoulder. 

“I double major in Psychology and Criminology,” he says eventually.

“Criminology? Just like YJ!” Beomgyu beams.

Soobin’s eyes dart to him quickly and then return to the space above his shoulder.

“That's nice,” Is all he says.

The group falls back into a silence that’s thankfully interrupted when the waiter returns with Beomgyu’s order who was kind enough to order tea for Yeonjun who hates the bitter taste of coffee.

“Let’s start...” Soobin suggests once Beomgyu and Yeonjun receive their drinks.

Time has never moved this slowly for Yeonjun.

Except maybe for when he visits his dad on Thursday’s.

They managed to get through the reading and divide the work accordingly but as much as Beomgyu tried to make conversation in between, the three of them kept their replies short enough that Beomgyu eventually stopped trying.

By the time they finish up, Yeonjun feels the need to punch each of them at least twice.

He stands up, more than ready to leave. Beomgyu follows suit.

“See you on Monday,” Yeonjun says as a goodbye. He wants to add something but bites his tongue, thinking about Beomgyu’s request to be nicer.

He pulls Beomgyu with him, not allowing him to say much to them - because quite frankly Yeonjun doesn’t think they deserve it - and they exit the cafe. 

He manages to flash them a small smile and a wave before Yeonjun drags him away. Beomgyu stops at the counter to pay for their drinks before they leave the cafe, the smell of coffee beans now replaced with the fresh, cold air.

“What was that?” Beomgyu wonders out loud.

Yeonjun glances at him and feels a spike of anger towards the trio when he sees the troubled look on Beomgyu’s face.

“Nevermind them,” Yeonjun says when they climb into his car.

“Maybe they were just having a bad day…” He trails off in thought.

Yeonjun doubts it’s that with the way Soobin kept on looking at him but he keeps his mouth shut and continues driving.

Sometimes he wishes he had Beomgyu’s optimism.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Yeonjun’s standing at the counter of the bakery near his university, the same one he saw online while looking for a job.

He taps the little bell and waits patiently, taking a look around.

It’s a pretty cute bakery.

The walls are painted a soft, baby blue and all the furniture is white. Colourful desserts sit fresh in the display cases looking sweet enough to give Yeonjun a tooth ache and framed pictures of cakes hang on the walls. It smells like sugar.

He dropped Beomgyu off at his house earlier so he could check out the bakery. Beomgyu had offered to come with but Yeonjun wanted to do it alone.

“Can I help you?”

Yeonjun turns around at the sound of the woman’s voice. She’s short with a black bob cut and wrinkles around her eyes from years spent smiling.

“Ah, sorry to disturb Ajumma. I’m here because I saw a post online about your bakery needing 

assistance? I’m interested in being hired.”

Her face lights up. “Ah! Just a moment dear.”

She turns around and shouts a man’s name, Eunwoo by the sound of it, and turns back around when a tall man strides out of the door behind the counter.

He’s tall with greying hair and circular glasses. He looks vaguely familiar but Yeonjun can’t place the face so he brushes it off.

“Hello Ajeoshi,” He bows to the older man.

“And who might this be?” He asks the woman while regarding Yeonjun not unkindly.

“This is…” The woman looks at Yeonjun imploringly.

“Ah, Yeonjun.”

“This is Yeonjun-ssi,” she continues. “He wants to work for us.”

The man’s face lights up, “Ah! Are you any good with baking Yeonjun-ssi?”

Yeonjun’s heart falls. “No, Ajeoshi but I’m a really quick learner! And I’m good with numbers.”

He looks at the man and woman hopefully who smile at him.

“Please call us Jiyoo-ssi and Eunwoo-ssi, Yeonjun-ah. Would you be willing to work weekdays and weekends?” The woman who calls herself Jiyoo asks.

He nods his head vigorously. “I can work whenever you need me to.”

Eunwoo hums in thought. “We would have to see how you work to hire you for sure but if you start on Monday as a trial, we’ll let you know by the end of the week,” He peers at Yeonjun through his glasses. “How does that sound?”

“I will try my best,” he assures them with a bow.

After he gives them his details, Yeonjun heads back home to where he finds Beomgyu fast asleep with his textbook spread open on his bed.

Yeonjun sighs and removes his coat, hanging it on the door before grabbing a blanket and throwing it over Beomgyu.

His mind drifts to Soobin as he watches Beomgyu sleep and he feels angry at them for upsetting him all over again.

The anger quickly turns into guilt and he frowns down at his hands that rest in his lap.

There’s only one explanation for the sudden switch up with the other two boys.

Soobin must’ve known something about him that the others didn’t and told them. Now they don’t want to associate with Yeonjun, and Beomgyu, by association.

Normally, he wouldn’t care.

But Beomgyu likes Soobin and Yeonjun’s currently ruining the younger’s chances.

He pulls at his hair in frustration.

All those rumors because of one person.

Yeonjun sighs.

He’ll need to figure out what to do later.

He takes out his laptop and opens Pinterest.

For now, he needs to learn how to bake.

He scrolls through recipe after recipe and writes down tip after tip while he listens to the rhythmic sound of Beomgyu’s breathing. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanted to say thank you to everybody who left me comments for the first chapter, i didn't reply to all of them but i appreciate every single one of them so so much. i hope you like this update just as much <3

**Chapter Two**

“Does Soobin Hyung think that glaring at Professor Minhyuck will get him to answer our email faster?” Soobin hears Kai whisper to Taehyun.

“I don’t know but he just looks like an angry bunny. I doubt that would intimidate anybody, least of all our lecturer,” Taehyun whispers back. 

Soobin drags his eyes away from the bushy bearded lecturer temporarily to spare a glance at his friends.

Taehyun’s sporting a black baseball cap so most of his face is hidden but Soobin can see his round eyes lit up in amusement. Kai rubs his eyes in an effort to stay awake for the remaining lecture. He fiddles with the ring on Taehyun’s left hand.

“Might as well try something,” Soobin grumbles.

It’s Monday and their professor has still not answered the email Soobin sent him on Friday afternoon about changing groups. As a result, Soobin, Kai and Taehyun agreed to meet with Yeonjun and Beomgyu on Saturday in case their Professor decided that changing groups isn't doable. 

It’s part of why Soobin feels a particular animosity towards their professor. Soobin has been left with a weird guilt ever since his encounter with Beomgyu and Yeonjun on Saturday. Beomgyu had been trying so hard to make conversation with the three of them and looked like a wounded puppy when it didn’t work. 

What got Soobin more was the older’s efforts to speak to the three after he saw how Beomgyu was struggling. Soobin doesn’t know why this particular detail makes him feel guilty. Maybe it’s because Yeonjun always seemed indifferent to everything for the most part but looked ready to put the three of them in a headlock by the time the meeting was done.

Either way, Soobin is projecting his weird guilt onto the Professor. If he had answered his emails they wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.

He turns his attention back to the loud mouthed man but instead, his eyes fall on Yeonjun and Beomgyu who sit in the first row of the lecture hall.

Yeonjun sits passively next to Beomgyu who looks tiny in his oversized grey hoodie. Neither of them seem to be paying any attention to the lecture either, Yeonjun opting to stare at his phone instead and Beomgyu playing with the silver earring that dangles from Yeonjun’s ear. 

Soobin averts his eyes when Beomgyu catches him staring at the two. 

“...and I will give you the last ten minutes of the lecture to discuss your project with your group. I will be here for any questions if need be,” Professor Minhyuck’s voice draws Soobin’s attention back to reality. 

He waves his hands dismissively and the class shuffles as they disband from their friends begrudgingly and get into their groups.

Soobin makes a move to get up but stops when he sees that Yeonjun and Beomgyu are already making their way towards them. 

“I guess we’re just gonna have to work with them?” Taehyun whispers under his breath to Soobin.

“Looks like it,” Soobin mutters back just before they reach the trio.

“You all look ready to fall asleep,” Beomgyu notes with a smile as he settles down opposite Soobin. Yeonjun takes his place beside him quietly, only giving a wave to all of them as a hello.

He looks tired.

Soobin can’t see much of his face under the black bucket hat that rests on top of his head but he’s sure he can see dark circles under the older’s eyes. 

The pang of guilt returns to Soobin who shakes his head firmly. 

_Yeonjun’s a bad person from the sound of it, no need to feel guilty,_ he reminds himself silently.

“Yeah Professor Minhyuck wasn’t exactly captivating today,” Taehyun says to Beomgyu keeping his tone light and friendly. 

“When is he?” Kai complains with a pout to which Beomgyu laughs. 

“How was the rest of your weekend?” Beomgyu asks the group.

Kai opens his mouth to respond but Soobin interjects.

“I think we should discuss how we’ll be presenting. The deadline is approaching soon,”

That is a lie.

They still have more than a week for the presentation. Soobin just doesn’t want to befriend the two any further; he already feels guilty as is for not wanting to work with them. It would be best to keep everything centered around work. 

Beomgyu blinks slowly when he looks at Soobin and Soobin has to avert his eyes to stop feeling more guilt at the confused look in Beomgyu’s eyes. His mistake is in looking at Yeonjun instead who locks eyes with him.

Tired or not, Yeonjun stares at Soobin with enough distaste that it rolls off his body and makes Soobin choke on his words.

Taehyun clears his throat when it’s clear that nobody is making a move to talk. “Yeah, uh so I was thinking-”

“Group five, eh?” A booming voice interrupts them.

The five of them turn to see Professor Minhyuck peering at them through his thick square glasses. 

“Yes, sir?” Beomgyu answers for the group. 

“What seems to be the problem?” Professor Minhyuck grumbles.

Beomgyu’s face turns into one of more confusion and Soobin‘s heart rate picks up as he realizes what’s happening. He looks at Taehyun and Kai in panic who look equally as alarmed as him and just shrug their shoulders helplessly.

Soobin turns back to Professor Minhyuck, prepared to lie through his teeth to get them out of the potentially awkward situation but he stops when he sees Yeonjun’s narrowed eyes on him.

“Wasting my time you five!” Professor Minhyuck yells in exasperation. “One of you emailed me about not wanting to be in a group together. What’s the issue? Come now, I’m listening,” 

...And there it is.

Beomgyu’s frown deepens, still not fully understanding the situation. “Sorry sir, I think you’re mistaken, we-”

Yeonjun puts his hand on the younger’s shoulder and shakes his head slightly, eyes darting over to where Soobin and his friends sit. 

It takes a moment for the confusion to leave Beomgyu’s face.

When it does, his face morphs into one of forced cheer and the guilt might as well be a physical person knocking the air out of Soobin.

Taehyun is the one who speaks.

“Sorry sir. Can we have a moment? We haven’t really discussed it with our group, sorry to inconvenience you,”

Professor Minhyuck throws his hands up but storms off, leaving the boys in an awkward silence.

“Ah, it’s okay if you guys don’t want to be in a group with us anymore. Can I just ask why? I know I talk a lot so if that’s the case I’m sorry…” Beomgyu trails off, rubbing the nape of his neck awkwardly.

Soobin desperately wants to reach out and assure the boy that it’s less to do with him and more about his older friend. 

Yeonjun sits quietly and remains staring at Soobin, almost like he’s daring Soobin to say what he’s thinking but Soobin feels too embarrassed all at once so he just bites his lip. Kai and Taehyun make no move to explain either and after a moment, Yeonjun snorts and shakes his head.

Beomgyu looks at him for an explanation. They don’t say anything but an understanding must pass between the two because his face turns from hurt and confused to angry. 

He snaps his head to Soobin. 

“Not you guys too,” He spits out, disgust clear on his face. 

There’s so much venom dripping from his voice he sees Taehyun and Kai recoil out of the corner of his eye.

Even Yeonjun blinks in surprise. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Soobin manages to shoot back after finding his voice.

Beomgyu scoffs. “Making judgement based off of a bunch of baseless rumors. Is this high school?” 

“This isn’t just about petty gossip. He physically hurt somebody,” Taehyun counters from beside Soobin.

Soobin thinks he imagines Yeonjun flinching at Taehyun’s words.

“Guys maybe we shouldn’t do this here,” Kai suggests neutrally, eyes darting around the lecture hall to where a few pairs of eyes glance curiously to the commotion.

“Says WHO?” Beomgyu practically yells, ignoring Kai’s request.

“Beommie,” Yeonjun interrupts. He looks alarmed at his friend’s outburst and reaches out a hand to calm him down. “Hey it’s okay, let’s just-”

“ _NO_ , Hyung!” Beomgyu shakes him off and turns to yell at him. “You just let anybody say whatever they want about you and I have to sit here and watch it! I know you’re the better person but I’m tired of it!”

He whirls back to Soobin, face boiling red, genuine anger twisting his otherwise friendly features. 

“Those stupid rumors? Surprise but they’re all lies! That stupid girl liked Yeonjun Hyung and he turned her down, they didn’t even date. She was drunk one night and-”

“ _Beomgyu,_ ”

Beomgyu stops abruptly at his friend’s urgent tone.

Yeonjun grips the sleeve of Beomgyu’s hoodie, eyes wide and persistent. He gives Beomgyu a curt shake of his head and just like that, Beomgyu’s anger seems to dissipate. 

He picks up his bag from the desk he left it on, shoulders it and walks out of the lecture hall seemingly oblivious at the hundred pairs of eyes on him. 

Not even Professor Minhyuck, whose eyebrows are raised in curiosity, stops him from leaving. 

Yeonjun closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before following the boy out, not bothering to spare Soobin and his friends a glance. 

The rest of the class slowly begin to whisper and return to their normal chatter, occasionally sparing Soobin and his friends a side eye or two who sit in stunned silence. 

“Well fuck,” Taehyun mutters.

“Yeah,” is all Soobin manages to say. 

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“They could be lying,” Kai suggests in the car on their way home from university.

“That’s true,” Taehyun agrees, though even he sounds doubtful. 

Soobin has a headache from thinking about Beomgyu’s sudden outburst earlier. 

“Well. What do we do now?” Kai asks from where he sits beside Soobin in the passenger seat. 

Soobin thinks Taehyun let him have it today because he’s been anxious ever since the argument earlier. It’s only when nobody says anything for a full minute that he realizes both of them are looking to him for an answer. 

Soobin waits till they pull up at a red light before speaking. 

“I mean. Do we have to do something?” He suggests hopefully, fully knowing the answer.

“Hyung,” Taehyun reprimands from behind him. He can feel the boys’ judging eyes on him.

Soobin rests his head on the steering wheel while waiting for the light to turn green. 

“You know how much I hate confrontation,” He groans into his arms. 

A tap on the shoulder from Kai lets him know the light is green and he sighs and continues driving. 

“I know Hyung, but this feels… necessary,” Taehyun settles.

“Yeah, I know,” Soobin agrees and turns on the radio, very much exhausted from the conversation.

He puts all his focus in driving but his mind still wanders to Beomgyu’s red face and Yeonjun’s flinching.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come in, Hyung? Mum bought chocolate ice cream,” Kai asks hopefully with his hand on the door. 

Soobin ruffles his hair. “I’d love to but I have to help my parents with something. You and Taehyun have an extra scoop for me okay?”

Kai’s face falls but nods in understanding. He gives Soobin a quick hug and pats his tummy before hopping out of the car. Taehyun pulls on Soobin’s ear from behind.

“I know you’re going to worry about this the whole day but try not to yeah? Everything will be okay,” He reaches around the seat to give Soobin’s shoulder a squeeze.

With that, he follows Huening Kai into the house and waves goodbye to Soobin from outside. 

Soobin taps the wheel in thought for a moment before starting the car again and driving off. 

When he arrives at his destination, he parallel parks and hops out the car, making sure to lock it and pocket his keys.

He can’t help but smile when he walks into the bakery.

The sweet smell brings him fond memories of baking in the kitchen with his mum and dad growing up, always putting too much sugar in the icing and getting scolded by his mum as a result. 

The bakery has only been here for a year and a bit now. Soobin worked a lot more when he took a gap year last year before his studies but when university started, he had significantly less time for it. He forfeited working on weekdays and chose to work on weekends instead. 

Sometimes when his parents need extra help, like now, he comes in during the week. Even though it’s only been a little more than a year, Soobin isn’t surprised that the bakery is really successful. After all, his parents can bake anything and make it delicious.

Still, it’s nice to enjoy the bakery now without the added worry of whether or not they’d have to close because of no business.

It’s relatively empty which is understandable considering that the bakery closes at six and it’s just past five. Soobin only spots one boy sitting in the corner on his phone with his back to Soobin. Something about the white t-shirt and blue jeans ring a bell in his head but he quickly brushes it off. The bakery is close to university so it isn’t uncommon for students to come by here often. 

He hops over the counter with ease and goes into the back room to find his parents. They’re rolling dough together and are so invested that they don’t notice Soobin until he knocks on the door frame. 

“Ah BinBin!” His mum exclaims when Soobin approaches them.

He wipes the flour off her cheek before bending down to plant a kiss on it. His dad has to stand on his toes to ruffle Soobin’s hair but he does it nonetheless, clapping Soobin’s back with a smile afterwards.

“How was your day?” His mum asks, wiping her hands on her apron.

Soobin thinks back to Beomgyu’s angry face and the yells of the usually happy looking boy. 

“Unproductive,” Soobin chooses to say with a shrug.

It isn’t a lie- he barely did any work today.

“Always another day for work,” His dad assures him with a pat on the back. 

Soobin smiles gratefully at his parents.

He’s aware how lucky he scored in the parents department. Soobin can tell them anything and knows they’d do their best to support him. It’s not like they didn’t fight, it just didn’t last long and he couldn’t go long without talking to them.

“What do you need my help for?” He asks as he opens a container containing chocolate chips and popping a few into his mouth.

He ducks out of the way as his mum makes a move to swipe his head.

 _“Aish_ BinBin! What have I told you about eating the bakeries supplies?” She tsks and his dad gives a hearty chuckle as he watches the two in adoration.

“We have a boy that’s applying for the job offer we put out the other day. Do you remember? I think I mentioned it to you over dinner last week.”

Soobin nods in response and his mum continues to speak. “I want you to watch over him this week and see how well he does. He seems like a nice boy, looks ‘round about your age too.”

“Ah,” Soobin says with forced enthusiasm. A spike of anxiety makes his heart rate pick up. 

He’s never been good with talking to people, especially if they’re his age. It’s always been easier to talk to people older or younger than him, they feel less judgemental. 

“If you think he does well enough, we’ll hire him permanently,” His mum continues, oblivious of his internal crisis. “It will only be for this week and you can go back to working on the weekends. Sound good?”

Soobin fidgets with his hands but nods in agreement.

His mum pinches his cheeks. “Let’s go out and meet him eh? He’s been waiting for a bit,”

He follows his mum out and his dad trails after him with his hands behind his back.

“Yeonjun-ssi!” His mum calls.

Soobin’s jaw drops when the older boy turns around and he sees those familiar dark brown, catty eyes. He doesn’t seem as surprised as Soobin, just more curious with eyebrows raised as he looks between Soobin and his dad. The two must look more similar than Soobin initially thought.

“This is my son BinBin!” His mum coos, reaching up to pinch Soobin’s already red cheeks.

Yeonjun’s face remains impassive but Soobin sees his mouth twitch a little. 

Soobin wants to die.

“Ma,” He grumbles and pushes his mother’s hands off. “We know each other,”

His mum brightens at that and nudges his dad who looks pleasantly surprised.

“Oh really? Well that’ll make things easier for the two of you, eh?” His dad muses.

“You could say that,” Yeonjun agrees.

Soobin can’t tell if he actually means it or not.

“Well then, if you guys already know each other no need for introductions,” His mum claps her hands. “Yeonjun-ssi, BinBin will be monitoring you this week and helping you out. If there’s anything he can’t answer you’re more than welcome to ask Eunwoo or me.” 

“I will keep that in mind Jiyoo-ssi,” Yeonjun answers with a bow of his head.

Something is unnerving about seeing the boy so polite and formal.

“Oh lovely! There’s not much for you two to do today, I just called you to introduce the two of you. There’s only an hour left so you can close early and start cleaning up, maybe show Yeonjun-ssi where the ingredients are?”

“Sounds good mum.” 

“We’ll get going then, BinBin. I’ll see you at home,” She engulfs Soobin in a quick hug before disappearing into the back room to collect her bag and keys. 

His dad and mum wave the two of them one last goodbye before exiting the bakery. 

For a long moment the two just stare at each other.

Soobin doesn’t even know what to say. 

Does he address the issue or ignore it? If he does, what does he even say?

His thoughts are interrupted when Yeonjun strides towards him. Soobin panics and instinctively takes a step back, almost backing into the door. 

The older boy shoots him an amused look but merely walks past Soobin and flips the open sign to closed, making Soobin’s face instantly heat up. 

“Can I have a cloth?” Yeonjun asks, turning back to him.

“Huh?” Soobin responds stupidly.

“To wipe the table,” Yeonjun explains with a patience Soobin didn’t know he possessed. 

“ _OH_! Uhm yeah,” He leads Yeonjun to the back room and hands him a damp cloth he finds in a sink. “So yeah, you can just wipe the tables and put the chairs on top of them. I’ll sweep the floor,”

Yeonjun takes the cloth without a word and does as he’s told.

To say it’s awkward would be an understatement.

Or maybe it’s just Soobin because Yeonjun, as always, seems unbothered.

Soobin skirts around him as much as he can but the bakery is only so big so he ends up bumping into Yeonjun more than once. Yeonjun doesn’t say anything which makes Soobin even more nervous for some reason. He also knows he’ll be nervous if Yeonjun does decide to speak to him so maybe he’s just a nervous person in general.

It’s only after about half an hour when they’re wrapping up that Yeonjun talks.

“Are we done?” Yeonjun calls over his shoulder as he stacks the last chair.

“Yeah, you can go home. I’m just going to lock up,” 

He doesn’t say anything for a while and Soobin thinks that it’s the end of their short lived conversation.

But-

“Beomgyu hasn’t done anything wrong,”

Yeonjun says it so softly that Soobin almost doesn’t hear it. He looks up from where he rearranges the pastries on display to see Yeonjun straighten a crooked picture frame.

“I get if you don’t like me,” he continues and turns around to look at Soobin.

He’s abandoned the bucket hat he was sporting earlier on in the day. Soobin can see more clearly now how tired he actually is.

When last did he sleep?

“Beomgyu’s a good person. Just… don’t treat him differently because of me. He doesn’t deserve it.” He opens his mouth to say more but shakes his head instead. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He gives one last look at Soobin before making his way to the door and maybe Soobin’s a bad person for asking but the words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop them. 

“Is it true?” He blurts.

Yeonjun’s hand pauses on the door. “You’re gonna have to be more specific,” 

He hesitates. “Did you get… violent with that girl?”

At that, Yeonjun turns around.

He looks Soobin right in the eye when he speaks next. “No. I don’t expect you to believe me. I get that believing a liar is better than believing an abuser but I didn’t hurt that girl, I swear,” 

With that, he opens the door and leaves Soobin standing in silence. 

The guilt is now palpable in his mouth.

He doesn’t know why but Soobin trusts the older. Maybe it’s the fact that he chose to defend Beomgyu instead of himself.

Either way, he finds himself believing Yeonjun. 

He needs to make things right.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Yeonjun has no experience in baking.

When he was younger, before his dad left, his mum would bake now and then. It was never anything fancy, just cupcakes on Yeonjun’s birthday and maybe sometimes when she wanted to celebrate something special his mom would bake a cake. 

His dad preferred buying those fancy cakes from expensive bakeries and didn’t see the point in baking them on their own. 

Why would he spend time doing something that he could just pay somebody else to do?

So yeah baking was a rare thing and when his mom did bake, Yeonjun wouldn’t pay attention. 

He was always too preoccupied with something else, often watching TV and trying to dance along to the theme song of whatever kids show was on at the time.

When his dad left, his mom stopped cooking altogether so baking was a no go.

This is the cause of his anxiety as he walks on campus.

He really needs the job at the bakery but he has zero skills in the baking department. He’s learned how to cook food for his mum over the years but baking is different. 

He also hasn’t seen Beomgyu today.

Yeonjun’s sure that he’s still upset at the older for yesterday and needs time off; it would explain why he ditched classes today without mentioning it to Yeonjun.

But Yeonjun desperately needs to try baking _something_ to calm his nerves somewhat so he leaves campus early and makes his way to Beomgyu’s house. His house doesn’t have enough ingredients so really, Beomgyu’s the only option.

Besides, he can never go long without talking to Beomgyu. 

He thinks about texting the younger to ask him but decides against it.

Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

He’s technically skipping some classes but he’ll make a point to catch up on them later. For now, he wants to see Beomgyu.

The drive to Beomgyu’s house is only a little further than the drive to Yeonjun’s mum’s house. Yeonjun can actually walk - and has multiple times - to Beomgyu’s house because of how close their houses are.

When he pulls up to the red-bricked double story, he presses the bell outside and waits patiently before he hears the voice of Beomgyu’s mum through the receiver.

“Hello?” 

“Hello Minji-ssi, I’m here to see Beomgyu,”

“Ah Yeonjunnie!” Her voice brightens, “Come in,”

The gate opens and Yeonjun drives his car in and parks it in the same spot in the driveway he usually does whenever he visits.

Beomgyu’s mum is already waiting at the door for him with a big smile on her face. 

To put it simply, Yeonjun loves Beomgyu’s mum.

Yeonjun remembers when he sprained his ankle during dance practice. It was the first time it had happened while being friends with Beomgyu and Beomgyu’s mum had completely freaked out. She rushed him to the hospital in a panic and wouldn’t leave Yeonjun alone. Yeonjun had waited until he got home later that night to allow himself a small cry.

Not because his ankle hurt.

Beomgyu’s mum had been so worried that she kept on rattling Yeonjun’s medical details to the nurses and doctor. His blood type, allergies… 

He isn’t sure if his mum remembers his blood type.

Beomgyu’s mum had been there for every injury after as well as all of Yeonjun’s dance recitals. 

At the thought of dance, Yeonjun’s heart falls. 

He’s been dancing ever since he was little and can safely say it’s the one thing he’s actually really good at.

When he was still little, his mum had forgotten him at school because of work so a teacher had let him sit in on dance class after school was over so she could keep an eye on him. The kids were older than him but he remembered being mesmerized by the way they were able to control their bodies and make it look so easy. Everything about the way they moved and seemed to leave everything else outside the classroom just made Yeonjun feel so excited.

He asked the teacher if he could join and she had said no at first because he was younger than them but eventually she agreed and Yeonjun found himself in the dance class every day after school, even if there wasn’t class.

It initially started out as something that kept him away from home. The longer he was at school, the less time he had to spend in an empty house. It became more than that though when he got into high school. He became the dance captain and halfway through the end of his final year, he was scouted by a dance company. They wanted him to travel with them the following year to compete in global competitions and he had to spend the rest of the year saving up seeing as how his mum couldn’t afford it. He also spent the remaining year training with them in preparation. 

Yeonjun had worked every possible job he could find back then to make money for the trip. It was tiring and he had slept maximum four hours a night juggling dance, work and school. It had been a lot but the payoff was worth it.

He’d managed to raise enough by the end of the year and travelled the following year with the dance company participating in competition after competition. He still felt guilty for leaving his mum for so long but she insisted that Yeonjun go. “It’s too good of an opportunity to miss,” She assured him the night he was debating on whether to accept or decline.

It was during this year that Yeonjun realized that he wanted to study dance. It was the only thing he was sure of and he wanted to do it for the rest of his life. 

After a full year of traveling Yeonjun applied for a scholarship at a really prestigious art school to study dance. He got in but his mum still had to pay for all the additional things like his costumes and anything else the university didn’t pay for. His mum’s job was stable enough for it so 

Yeonjun enjoyed a year of bliss where he was studying what he loved. Everything felt good that year, even his mum seemed a little happier. 

Then she lost her job.

Yeonjun’s grades dropped because he had to find work to pay for groceries and the university was threatening to pull his scholarship. His mum had just stopped… living for a long while. 

Yeonjun was scared for the longest time. When his dad left it had been a similar thing. She stopped eating and slept all the time. Yeonjun was scared she’d stay like that forever. 

The first time, Yeonjun had only been a child which is what might have knocked his mother out of her daze. But the second time he was much older.

Crying because he was hungry wouldn’t work this time. 

He’d tried several times to snap her out of it. He made her food, ripped the covers off her, opened the windows and blinds. He even yelled at her on more than one occasion. It was the same reaction every time though. She looked up at him as if he wasn’t really there, blinked slowly and then went back to staring at nothing. 

Yeonjun didn’t know what more to do.

...Until his dad came back into his life. 

It was a Saturday, another day spent trying to force his mum out of bed when he heard a knock on the door.

He knew it was his dad immediately when he had opened the door.

It had been years since he saw his dad but he’d recognize his face anywhere.

It was the one he saw staring back at himself in the mirror everyday after all.

He slammed the door and just stood there, not sure of what to do, half-hoping that his dad would just leave.

But he didn’t.

He just continued knocking and knocking until Yeonjun had gotten fed up and opened the door. 

His dad has said a lot of things but Yeonjun couldn’t focus on all of it.

All he had heard was that his dad wanted to be back in his life and would do anything Yeonjun had wanted.

Yeonjun promised to think about it and his dad had finally left.

An idea had sprung to his mind.

He went to his mum’s room no longer bothering to convince her to get up.

He’d just simply said to her, “Dad visited. He wants to be back in my life and if you don’t snap out of it, I’m going to live with him,”

It was an empty threat.

Yeonjun would rather die than go love with his dad but despite not talking to his mum often, he knew her well and she loved Yeonjun.

He also understood her fear of loneliness because he shared it with her. The idea of coming home to an empty house and nobody ever returning was terrifying to the both of them.

There’s a comfort in having traces of living in your house, whether it's crumbs on the kitchen table or an unfolded blanket on the couch. 

He hadn’t waited long enough to see her respond but it must have worked.

The next day his mum was up and looking for a job.

Yeonjun followed through on his promise with his dad and met up with him for lunch the next day at his dad’s house. It was the first time he met Seri and Renjun.

His dad told him he’d pay for Yeonjun’s university fees provided he swap to something more stable. He also promised Yeonjun a monthly allowance if he visited for dinner every Thursday.

Yeonjun didn’t have any choice but to take it.

His mum eventually found a job again but it was nowhere as good as her first so he still relied on his dad.

Through all this, he was still able to dance, just not professionally. The dance school near his house allowed him to use their studio on the condition that he taught classes, which Yeonjun didn’t even see as a downfall. He was still dancing after all.

But with the job at the bakery and university Yeonjun now has to forfeit teaching.

He just… doesn’t have enough time for it anymore.

“Yeonjunnie?” 

Beomgyu’s mum snaps him out of his train of thought.

“Is everything okay?” She has concern in her warm brown eyes as she looks up at him.

Yeonjun plasters a smile on his face. “Ah sorry Minji-ssi, I spaced out. Is Beomgyu upstairs?” 

She smiles and he stands on her tippy toes so she can ruffle his hair. “Yes he is, doing some work last time I checked. Are you staying for dinner?”

“Ah I have work to do but I will stay over soon, I know I haven’t in a while,” He assures her.

“That’s okay Yeonjunnie, you know you’re welcome whenever. Now go on up, Gyu looks particularly moody today. Maybe you can cheer him up,”

With that, Yeonjun takes for the stairs.

There’s a possibility Beomgyu might get upset but Yeonjun also knows that the younger can never stay mad at him for long so it’s worth the risk.

He doesn’t bother knocking and swings open Beomgyu’s door like he’s done so many times before and steps into the familiar pale blue room to find Beomgyu lying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. 

Upon Yeonjun’s entrance, he spares a glance towards the door before returning his gaze to the ceiling.

“You look like a honeybee,” Yeonjun notes. 

He’s dressed in jeans and an oversized black and yellow shirt. 

When Beomgyu doesn’t answer, Yeonjun sighs and leans against the doorway.

“I need your help, BG,” Beomgyu turns his head to indicate that he’s listening. His eyes seem to have less energy in them today. “Wanna bake a cake?”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“My mum was saying- HYUNG THAT’S TOO MUCH SUGAR _STOP,_ ” 

So Yeonjun is bad at baking.

It’s not like he’s bad at following instructions.

He just doesn’t have the patience for it. 

Beomgyu frantically rips the container with the sugar out of Yeonjun’s hands and throws him a baffled look. 

He shakes his head and mutters something under his breath about Yeonjun being good for nothing. Beomgyu pouts and frowns as he squints and measures the sugar correctly. Yeonjun finds himself smiling at the younger’s extreme concentration.

“Are the owners of the bakery at least nice?” Beomgyu asks.

Yeonjun grimaces.

He hasn’t gotten a chance to tell Beomgyu about Soobin working at the bakery yet. Thinking about Beomgyu’s twisted face makes Yeonjun brush it off for now. He doesn’t want Beomgyu upset all over again.

“They are. They said that they’d give me this week as a trial run to see how I’d do. If I do well enough they’ll hire me,” He explains while looking down at the ingredients again.

He reaches for the eggs and cracks them lightly against the edge of the bowl. Beomgyu eyes him warily but let’s him be. 

“All on your own? Or are they going to help you?”

“Nah they’ve asked their… assistant to help me out this week,”

“That’s not too bad then,” He reasons.

They work in silence for the rest of the baking session. Beomgyu yells at him occasionally and in return, Yeonjun tries his best to watch Beomgyu carefully. He’s sure that if he bakes frequently enough he’ll get better at it but he also only has a week which isn’t all that long if he thinks about it.

“You’ll be okay, Hyungie,” Beomgyu’s soft voice snaps Yeonjun out of his daze.

Beomgyu keeps his focus on the cake as he frosts it but Yeonjun can see the determination in his eyes when he speaks. “You’re the most hardworking person I know. Everything will work out fine,” 

He opens his mouth to respond but a weird lump forms in his throat instead. He settles for a smile instead and helps Beomgyu frost the rest of the cake. 

“It was definitely too sweet,” Yeonjun states a little later.

They lie flat on Beomgyu’s bed, side by side, and stare up at the ceiling, both a little stuffed from eating the too-sweet cake.

“I wonder whose fault that is,” Beomgyu remarks sarcastically to which Yeonjun pinches his arm. 

They fall silent again. 

Yeonjun clears his throat. “Remember how I mentioned that the owners of the bakery assigned an assistant to help me out this week?” 

“Yeah?”

“It’s Soobin,”

A moment passes.

“Oh?” Beomgyu’s voice sounds small.

“His parents are the owners of the bakery so he’s the assistant,” Yeonjun explains slowly.

Beomgyu doesn’t answer and Yeonjun sighs. 

“Beomgyu, I’m sorry-” Yeonjun stops and yelps when he turns to see tears streaming down Beomgyu’s face. 

Beomgyu’s eyes have doubled in size as tears well and flow freely down his face.

He lies on his side and looks at Yeonjun regretfully, his bottom lip trembling slightly.

“Hyung I’m so sorry! I- I shouldn’t have screamed like that, it wasn’t my place. I’m just s-so tired of people-” He breaks off into a series of sniffles and sobs.

“Oh Beommie…” 

The lump in his throat from earlier is back and Yeonjun has to swallow hard to keep from crying.

Seeing Beomgyu so upset because of him makes him want to crawl into a hole and bury himself.

He reaches out a hand to wipe the younger’s tears away. A stray smear of icing sits on Beomgyu’s cheek and Yeonjun lets out a soft laugh as he cleans it off with the edge of his sleeve. 

“Don’t cry little honey bee, not because of me okay? It’s not worth it,”

Looking at his friend now, puffy eyes and tear stained round cheeks, he’s reminded of how his face had transformed into something unrecognizable when he yelled at Soobin.

Beomgyu is all giggles and sweater paws, eyes with warmth in them and smiles that make everything better. 

When he was yelling yesterday, Yeonjun had to do a double take to make sure the person he was looking at was still Beomgyu.

His eyes were cold and sharp and the sneer looked so out of place Yeonjun’s hand had twitched with the need to ease it off his face.

“Beomgyu-ah, do you know why I love you?”

Beomgyu sniffles and shakes his head. “Because I’m your only friend?”

“You brat,” Yeonjun mumbles as he brushes the silver hair from Beomgyu’s forehead. “I feel angry… a lot. With the way some things work out sometimes it’s hard for me to not be bitter and horrible and it’s not an excuse, I know. But you’re always a good person, BG. You trust people and they trust you back. You see the good in people and believe that they’re more than the mistakes they’ve made. You’re always kind and I think I’d give anything to see the world through your eyes. Don’t lose that because of me, please,” 

He pulls Beomgyu closer so that he rests on Yeonjun’s chest. He can feel Beomgyu’s tears soak through the polo neck Yeonjun’s wearing but he doesn’t care. 

“Hyung you’re not horrible. Why do you let people treat you like that? Those rumors aren’t even true but you act like they are and you just… let people hate you,” Beomgyu whispers into Yeonjun’s side, making his words come out slightly muffled. 

“It doesn’t bother me,” He lies.

“Hyung. Don’t lie to me, please. I’m your best friend,” 

Yeonjun stares up and sees those plastic, stickable glow-in-the-dark planets and stars still sticking on the ceiling with old glue.

He remembers visiting Beomgyu for the first time and making fun of the younger for it. 

“You believe me, Beomgyu. That’s enough. It’s always been enough,” 

He means it to be comforting but Beomgyu just lets out a sob and punches Yeonjun half-heartedly.

“You’re so stupid, Hyung,” He mumbles but hugs Yeonjun tightly. 

“I know, Beomgyu-ah. I know,” 

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Considering how well baking went earlier with Beomgyu, Yeonjun isn’t too confident when he walks into the bakery later that day. 

The sweet smell doesn’t seem to overwhelm him anymore like it did the first day. There are more people in here than yesterday, some lounging on the chairs absentmindedly nibbling on some pastry as they work while others walk in and out to collect their orders. 

He sees Eunwoo behind the counter who gives Yeonjun a warm smile. 

“Afternoon, Eunwoo-ssi,” Yeonjun greets with a bow of his head. 

“Afternoon Yeonjun-ssi. Hope you’re well today! You can go straight to the back, Soobin should be there. He’ll tell you what to do today,” 

Yeonjun lets himself through the door that allows him to go behind the counter and brushes past Eunwoo to reach the back door.

The pantry is at the back of the room through another door so Yeonjun skirts around the table filled with freshly baked breads and pastries and opens the door to the pantry.

Soobin’s back is towards him and seems too engrossed in counting to have noticed Yeonjun’s presence. 

Yeonjun clears his throat and Soobin whips around.

The taller boy is dressed in a comfortable red sweater and a pair of blue jeans. His black hair is almost long enough to cover his eyes.

“Oh. Hi,” He greets Yeonjun rather awkwardly with a wave.

“Hey,” Yeonjun says back. “What are we meant to do today?”

“Ah, we’re just doing inventory today. Help me count the ingredients and things then we just log it here,” He taps the black notebook he holds in his hand.

There’s not much space in the pantry so the two boys sit side by side and count ingredients, taking turns to log it into the notebook. 

The sounds of the bakery are muffled here in the pantry, all Yeonjun can really hear is Soobin humming unconsciously under his breath.

Even with his legs crossed, Soobin’s tall enough that his knees touch Yeonjun’s as they work in silence.

Yeonjun can tell Soobin wants to say something by the way he opens his mouth and then closes it immediately.

He does this about ten times before Yeonjun beats him to it. 

“So, BinBin huh?”

Soobin practically chokes and Yeonjun feels a smirk tug at his lips. 

Yeonjun doesn’t hear what he mutters afterwards but he’s sure he hears the word embarrassing thrown in there somewhere.

“My mum is just… like that,” He says louder this time.

Yeonjun shrugs. “It’s cute,” 

Yeonjun tries to think of nicknames his mum gave him growing up but he comes up short. She’s always called him Yeonjunnie but so did his dad at one point in his life and Seri does too now.

It feels less personal than something like BinBin. 

The thought makes Yeonjun frown so he looks at Soobin whose ears are tinged red as he looks at Yeonjun. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” Soobin mumbles. 

“Where’s your mum today?” Yeonjun changes the topic. 

“They don’t both work all the time, they usually take turns. Today is dad’s turn. The bakery is small enough that we don’t need too many people working. I work on weekends but weekdays are more tricky. Mum and dad had hired somebody else but they couldn’t work full hours anymore so that’s why they’re looking to hire.”

“Makes sense,” Yeonjun agrees.

Soobin hesitates before speaking next. “Where were you today?”

Yeonjun blinks at him in confusion.

“Criminology,” Soobin elaborates. “We share a class,”

“Oh yeah,” Yeonjun had completely forgotten about that. “I had to go check up on Beomgyu. He skipped classes and didn’t tell me,” 

“I see,” Soobin replies softly.

They work in silence for a while longer before Soobin speaks up again.

“I owe you an apology,” 

Yeonjun carries on jotting down numbers of the sweets he just took stock of and answers Soobin without looking up. “It’s okay,”

“Huh?” Soobin replies in confusion, like he planned the conversation out in his head and Yeonjun’s reply didn’t fit what he imagined.

“I said it’s okay, Dimples. I’m used to it by now, no hard feelings,” 

“Oh,”

Soobin doesn’t say anything for a long moment and Yeonjun thinks that they’re done talking but he feels a hand on his shoulder. 

When he looks up, Soobin is looking down at him with a frown. 

“It’s not okay, Yeonjun-ssi,”

Soobin shakes his head when Yeonjun opens his mouth to protest. “Just because you’re used to it doesn’t make it right, okay? Just let me… let me apologize. You don’t have to after the way I treated you but if you’d let me, I’d like to,”

Yeonjun looks up at the taller whose hand still rests on Yeonjun’s shoulder. His eyes are wide and sincere, staring directly into Yeonjun’s pleadingly.

Yeonjun swallows and gives a small nod.

“We - I, really - shouldn’t have just believed a bunch of rumours about somebody I didn’t even know like that. I’ve had similar experiences in high school so I should’ve been more aware of it. I can’t take it back but I’d like… I’d like to make it up to, if you’d let me,” He pauses then adds. “Both you and Beomgyu,”

Yeonjun doesn’t know what to say. 

He stares long enough at Soobin that Soobin’s look of sincerity turns into one of panic.

He removes his hand from Yeonjun’s shoulder. His whole face is now red.

“Oh God, was that too much? I feel like I just made it more awkward,” He covers his face with both his hands and groans into them, bringing his knees up to his chest in the process. 

Yeonjun smiles at the sight of the tall boy trying to shrink himself.

“Hey Dimples,” Yeonjun reaches out and tugs down Soobin’s hands.

They’re soft and warm.

“I accept your apology okay? But I do have a way you can make it up to me…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

“I feel awful,” Taehyun mutters under his breath.

Soobin grimaces. “I know, me too Taeyhun. That’s the point of the hangout, we owe both of them an apology.” 

Taehyun sighs and rests his head on Kai’s shoulder who pats his tummy reassuringly.

Soobin asked Yeonjun and Beomgyu to meet them at one of his favourite food places.

Soobin loves food.

It seems like a plain statement to make but he likes finding cute cafes and restaurants that have a twist to them.

The one in question that the three of them are currently sitting in as they wait for Yeonjun and 

Beomgyu is called Cereal Killer.

It’s a relatively well known cereal bar in town that Soobin likes to visit regularly. 

He loves it because of how colourful it is; the walls surrounding them are covered in shelves stacked with multiple cereal boxes. Soobin spots Lucky Charms, Fruit Loops and his personal favourite, Oreo O’s, among the mix. Lights hang low from the ceiling in the shape of milk bottles and the cereal bar takes up one half of the store. Stacked bowls and spoons sit on a large table next to a line of clear, labeled dispensers filled with different cereals. People shuffle in line as they wait to fill their bowls.

Soobin and his friends sit at a round table further away from the cereal bar and closer to the back of the cafe where it’s cozier and less noisy. Much like the rest of the cafe, the table and chairs are bright and clash with Taehyun’s hair.

When Soobin thought of a place to meet up with Beomgyu and Yeonjun this was the first place that came to mind. The colours calm Soobin and the fact that he’s familiar with the place makes him feel less anxious about the whole situation.

Soobin glances at his phone.

Yeonjun and Beomgyu still have ten minutes before the time they agreed to meet up.

Soobin had told Taehyun and Kai immediately about believing Yeonjun and the conversation he had with the older. As expected, they’d felt as awful as Soobin did about the way they treated the two and agreed to meet up with them to apologize and ask whether they’d still want to work on the project together.

Truth is, Soobin is a little worried about Beomgyu’s reaction.

The younger had seemed more bothered by Soobin’s accusations than Yeonjun had and he hadn’t responded too kindly.

Soobin shakes his head. 

No use worrying about that, he thinks before turning to Taehyun and Kai instead. “Taehyun-ah, I think we might have ruined the chances of your crush liking you back,” He teases the red head to lighten the mood.

Kai snickers and Taehyun elbows him.

“Whatever,” He mumbles, “The chances of your crush liking you back is always very low anyway.” 

“Do you really believe that Taehyun-ah?” Soobin asks genuinely.

Taehyun shrugs. “How many times has your crush actually liked you back, Hyung?” 

Soobin tries to think about all the guys he’s liked in the past.

There was Hyunjin in high school who was in the same grade as him that he always thought was handsome. Soobin had never tried to confess to him though, he had too many admirers to even probably consider Soobin.

Lucas, who he had met through a mutual friend at a party once, befriended Soobin but when Soobin had confessed he had told the younger that he only saw them as friends. 

There was Yunho, who Soobin spoke to actively at one point in his life but had ghosted Soobin much to his confusion. 

The one person Soobin “dated” hadn’t really liked him so he can’t even count that. 

Soobin combs through each of his crushes and comes up blank.

“See,” Taehyun takes note of Soobin’s silence. “Slim to none,” He reiterates.

Soobin shakes his head. “No, that’s just because-”

He stops abruptly.

“Because…?” Kai continues, looking at him expectantly.

Because Soobin is _Soobin_.

He gets why he hasn’t had much luck with any of his crushes.

He’s too tall, too awkward, too… much of a lot of other things.

He gets it.

But Taehyun is handsome and easy to talk to, Soobin’s more than sure he’s seen a number of people do double takes when he’s with the younger.

The same can be said for Kai. He’s impossible not to like. 

Soobin opens his mouth to try and explain but is cut off by a familiar voice.

“This is a really cool place.” 

Soobin looks up from his friends to find Beomgyu standing behind them, taking in the place in awe. Yeonjun stands beside him dressed in a baggy, black v-neck sweater tucked into the front of his jeans. He matches it with a pair of well worn Vans. 

He catches Soobin’s eye once he’s done looking around the place.

Soobin doesn’t really know what he’s expecting.

A smile? A wave? Some acknowledgment that the two had sat for hours sorting sweets and talking to each other?

Whatever it is, he doesn’t get it.

Yeonjun looks at Soobin for all of two seconds before settling his eyes back on Beomgyu.

Soobin frowns.

“Soobin Hyung likes finding places like this,” Taehyun gestures around. “Normal restaurants get boring sometimes.” 

“Ah,” Is all Beomgyu says.

Soobin swallows and gives his friends a meaningful look when he stands up. 

“Thank you for coming Beomgyu-ah and Yeonjun-ssi. Let’s go get something to eat, yeah? Taehyunnie and Kai will stay here to make sure nobody steals our place,” Soobin suggests. 

Kai and Taehyun nod over enthusiastically and Beomgyu looks to Yeonjun.

“I’ll stay here, go ahead,” Yeonjun assures him and takes a seat opposite Kai and Taehyun.

It had been Yeonjun’s suggestion yesterday as Soobin’s favour to him that Soobin take Beomgyu aside and apologize to him separately from the others. Considering how poorly he had treated Yeonjun, he thought a one on one apology was the least he could do.

He had informed Kai and Taehyun who thought it worked well considering they still needed to apologize to Yeonjun too. 

Soobin’s rehearsed five times over what he’d say to Beomgyu but he’s still nervous as he leads the younger away from the table and to the bar.

“How does all this work?” Beomgyu mutters, looking rather overwhelmed as he surveys the place once again.

“So either you order one of their special bowls in medium or large,” Soobin explains kindly and points to the big menu above the bar. “Or, you can pick one or two cereals of your choice that comes with normal milk, also in medium or large. You can also upgrade your choice of milk to something like cinnamon or strawberry…”

By the time he’s done explaining, Beomgyu looks like he’s come to a decision.

“Can I have a medium Choc-lit bowl please?” He tells the worker at the front.

“You like chocolate flavoured things?” Soobin asks to make small conversation. 

Beomgyu shakes his head and Soobin looks at him puzzled. 

He expects an explanation for why the younger would order something chocolate when he looks less than excited about it but when one doesn’t come, Soobin decides to shrug and let it go.

People are weird, he presumes.

Soobin decides to go with his own two choices of cereal and turns to Beomgyu once the worker disappears to sort their orders out.

“Beomgyu-ah, I owe you an apology.”

Beomgyu keeps his eyes trained on the worker preparing their food. 

“I’ve apologized to Yeonjun Hyung but you deserve an apology too. I think I’d be upset if somebody attacked my best friend like that too. You were right to yell at us.” 

Beomgyu finally drags his eyes to Soobin. There isn’t any anger in them this time, just curiosity lighting up his brown eyes. 

“What did Hyungie say?” Beomgyu asks. 

It’s not the response Soobin planned for but he answers Beomgyu’s question nonetheless. 

“He asked me to apologize to you personally and then he and I would be okay,”

Beomgyu smiles and shakes his head but there’s something sad about it.

“Of course he did…” He mutters and looks over Soobin’s shoulder where he can probably see his friend. 

Soobin stands and shifts uncomfortably.

He’s not sure what to do.

He planned for two possible scenarios: Beomgyu declines his apology and yells at Soobin or, he 

accepts it and goes back to being the energetic puppy Soobin knows him as. 

He did not, however, account for whatever Beomgyu is doing now which doesn’t look like accepting or even declining Soobin’s apology.

Soobin’s about to speak up when Beomgyu’s face brightens suddenly and he looks back at Soobin.

“Soobin Hyung can you promise me something? If you do this I’ll forget anything ever happened between us.”

Soobin nods his head and hopes silently that it’s not something ridiculous or embarrassing.

“Make sure Yeonjun Hyung gets the job.”

Soobin blinks. “Huh?”

Beomgyu’s energy takes over his entire body now and he nods insistently.

“Yeonjun Hyung told me that your parents own the bakery. You can make sure he gets the job, can’t you?” 

Soobin thinks back to his parents’ words.

_If you think he does well enough we’ll hire him permanently._

Beomgyu must take Soobin’s moment of silence as hesitation because he reaches out and grips the sleeve of Soobin’s jersey insistently.

“Please, Hyung. Yeonjun Hyung is the hardest working person I know, he won’t let your parents down. He deserves this one good thing, please.”

Soobin looks down at the boy.

There’s no trace of animosity in his eyes or any of the cold he felt in them the other day, just pure desperation. 

Soobin gently eases the boy’s grip on his sleeve and gives what he hopes is a promising smile.

“I’ll make sure he gets the job, Beomgyu-ah. You have my word.”

Beomgyu’s face brightens and throws his arms around Soobin’s neck.

Soobin is a little taken back but pats Beomgyu on the back rather awkwardly before the boy pulls away.

A light blush colours his cheeks now and he quickly turns his attention to the cereal the worker now places in front of them. 

After paying, they walk back to their table and Beomgyu seems to have completely forgiven Soobin because he’s back to his usual energetic self.

When they approach their table, Soobin sits down next to Taehyun and Kai. He thought he’d return to an awkward silence but Kai talks to Yeonjun animatedly and in return, Yeonjun listens carefully. He even cracks a smile now and then.

“Kai let’s get our cereal, I’m starving,” Taehyun whines and tugs the taller up.

They look expectantly at Yeonjun who shakes his head. The three of them were meant to get their cereal once Soobin and Beomgyu returned.

“I’m not hungry, go ahead,” Yeonjun insists.

The two shrug and leave Soobin, Beomgyu and Yeonjun at the table alone.

Beomgyu purses his lips but sits down and digs into his cereal. 

He only has about two spoonfuls before he pulls a face.

“What’s wrong?” Soobin asks with a mouthful of his own cereal.

“I don’t like it,” Beomgyu mumbles.

Soobin is about to ask why he would order something he knows he wouldn’t like but Yeonjun beats him to it.

“Beomgyu-ah you don’t like chocolate flavoured food unless it’s cake or something! Why would you even get that?”

“I thought I’d try something different,” He pouts.

He looks up at Yeonjun and Soobin swears his eyes double in size when he speaks next.

“Hyungie please will you have it? You know I don’t like wasting. Pleeeeeeease,” He drags out when Yeonjun frowns.

Soobin watches silently as Yeonjun narrows his eyes at the younger and it’s like he’s watching a staring contest between the two because neither of them budge.

Eventually, Yeonjun caves.

He grumbles and takes the bowl out of Beomgyu’s hands.

Beomgyu brightens and shoots up from his seat. “I’m going to get another bowl while Kai and Taehyun are still there! Thanks, YJ.”

He pats Yeonjun’s head and darts away when Yeonjun swats him.

“Brat,” He mumbles after Beomgyu.

Yeonjun takes a spoonful of the cereal and raises his eyebrows.

“I take it you like it then?” Soobin asks.

Yeonjun’s cheeks are stuffed with cereal.

Soobin’s mouth twitches. 

He’s significantly less intimidating when he looks like an excited hamster. 

“Yeah, I love chocolate. Beomgyu’s taste buds are just broken,” He manages to say through the cereal.

It only really clicks when the three boys return shortly with their respective bowls.

“Your taste buds are broken, BG,” Yeonjun announces.

“Mhm?” Beomgyu’s cheeks are now stuffed with whatever cereal he decided on. 

“You’re tasteless,” Yeonjun repeats before returning his attention back to his bowl. 

Beomgyu doesn’t say anything but smiles to himself, satisfied when he sees his friend devour the bowl of cereal.

_He bought the cereal for Yeonjun._

Though Soobin doesn’t know why Beomgyu couldn’t have just bought the bowl for Yeonjun and be done with it, he’s sure that that had been the boy’s intention the entire time.

Soobin recalls the younger’s words earlier.

 _He deserves this one good thing_. 

It rings in Soobin’s mind as he watches the older inhale his cereal.

“Stop thinking so hard Hyung, it’s not a good look on you,” He hears Kai say.

Soobin throws a straw at him as he cackles.

“So uh,” Soobin clears his throat to get everybody’s attention. “Now that we’ve cleared the air, the three of us wanted to know if you’re still willing to be in a group with us for the presentation? 

We understand if you don’t want to, we just wanted to make sure…” 

Beomgyu glances to Yeonjun who merely shrugs.

“We’re cool with working in the group if you guys are too,” Beomgyu says with a smile aimed at the three of them.

Soobin lets out a sigh of relief.

To be honest, he didn’t plan for them saying no, so their willingness brings immense relief to Soobin.

They spend their remaining time together munching on cereal, talking about the project and getting to know each other better. 

For the most part, Soobin just listens. He watches Taehyun giggle at Beomgyu and he smiles at the sight. He really hopes for his friend’s sake the latter has some feelings for him. 

Yeonjun’s unsurprisingly quiet.

Kai is in the process of gushing to him about a new plush toy he bought when he catches Soobin staring at him.

Soobin’s about to look away, expecting Yeonjun to do the same.

Instead, he gives Soobin a small smile before returning his attention to Kai. 

Soobin finds himself smiling back.

A little more than an hour passes before Yeonjun stands up. 

“I have to leave,” He announces.

“I’m not done with my drink yet, YJ,” Beomgyu complains.

“It’s for the bakery, BG. I’m sorry you’ll have to get a takeaway,” He explains to a pouting Beomgyu. 

“Oh yeah me too then,” Soobin realizes. 

He pauses for a moment, thinking about his next words carefully. 

“Do you wanna go together? We’re going in the same direction anyway,” He offers.

“That’s very nice of you to offer but I came with my car and I have to drive Beomgyu home-”

“I’ll drive it to my house, YJ,” Beomgyu offers. “You’re meant to be sleeping over at my place anyway.”

Yeonjun frowns. “Yeah true but then how would I get there?”

“I’ll just drop you off after,” Soobin suggests.

“See! I can give Taehyun and Kai a lift too and I get to finish my drink. It all works out perfectly,” Beomgyu extends his hands and looks up at Yeonjun, probably waiting for the keys to Yeonjun’s car.

Yeonjun blinks slowly and looks from Beomgyu’s face to his empty palm.

“Are you two okay with that?” He directs the question at Kai and Taehyun.

They nod their heads enthusiastically.

Yeonjun looks at Soobin, still unsure.

“It’s really nothing. Like I said, we’re going in the same direction,” He assures the older.

Yeonjun looks back down at his friend and drops the keys into his hands with a sigh. 

“See you later, honey bee,” He ruffles Beomgyu’s hair and waves goodbye to Taehyun and Kai before following Soobin out. 

“It’s no convertible but it works,” Soobin says, feeling self-conscious as the two climb into the car and the doors creak.

“Good. ‘Fucking hate convertibles,” Yeonjun mutters as he straps the seatbelt over his chest. 

Soobin pauses. “Don’t… don’t you have a convertible?”

“Yes.”

Soobin waits for an elaboration but Yeonjun doesn’t say anything else after. He merely stares ahead.

Soobin takes that as a sign to start driving so he switches on the car and begins the drive to the bakery. 

“You like singing,” Yeonjun says after a long while.

It’s a statement, not a question and Soobin shoots a confused side glance at the older who stares outside the window.

“You were singing under your breath,” He explains. “And back at the bakery yesterday you were humming.”

“Oh,” Soobin feels his cheeks get red.

He hadn’t realized he’d been singing loud enough for the other to hear.

“I mean… yeah. Singing is nice,” He settles on saying after a while.

“You sound good,” He admits quietly. “What else do you like doing?”

“Huh?” Soobin responds.

“What else do you enjoy doing?” Yeonjun repeats more slowly this time.

If Soobin’s being honest, he’s confused more by the boy’s first statement. 

“I like… drawing, sometimes. Baking too,” He says as he signals left.

Soobin keeps his eyes on the road but can feel Yeonjun’s eyes on him.

“Baking makes sense… drawing?” He echoes.

“Yeah, I mean I’m not any good at it,” Soobin admits with a shrug. “But I enjoy it anyway so… yeah, I draw.” 

“I don’t believe that you’re bad at it,” Yeonjun counters.

Soobin pulls up at a red light and gets a good look at the older. He’s looking at Soobin with a small smile and a lifted eyebrow, almost like he’s challenging Soobin.

Soobin sputters, a little unsure of what Yeonjun is trying to say.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on,” Yeonjun sighs and rolls his eyes dramatically. “You’re probably the type to say it’s not great and pull out an amazing masterpiece.” 

“Okay _not_ true. My work is far from being a masterpiece.” 

The light turns green and he drags his eyes away from Yeonjun and reluctantly places his focus back on the road. 

“I’ll have to see it to believe it,” Yeonjun responds unconvincingly. “What’s your… favourite-”

“Wait!” Soobin interjects. “You haven’t told me what you like doing.” 

“Nothing,” he responds quickly. 

“Okay, that’s a lie,” Soobin scoffs.

Yeonjun is silent for a long while before he speaks again quietly. “I like dancing.” 

Soobin can’t help being surprised. “Oh really? Do you dance?” 

Yeonjun shifts, looking a little uncomfortable as he fiddles with the hem of his t-shirt. “I use to but… can’t anymore.” 

“You’re injured?”

“No. Just don’t have the time for it anymore.” 

Judging by the way Yeonjun says it, Soobin guesses that there’s more to it than the boy’s letting on.

He doesn’t press though and changes the topic instead.

“I love pop music,” Soobin blurts out. 

At first he doesn’t think Yeonjun hears him and he’s about to turn the radio on to cover up his own embarrassment but then-

“Yeah?” Yeonjun’s voice is faint.

Soobin can’t pinpoint why but he sounds sad all of a sudden. He seemed perfectly fine a few minutes ago.

Was it something Soobin said?

“Yeah,” Soobin confirms, shoving away his thoughts.

Soobin sees Yeonjun sit up a little as he listens to Soobin so he continues.

“Pop music is just… really fun. It’s lighthearted, you know? I like anything you can dance to because if you’re having fun there’s less time to think about… things you don’t want to think about. Makes me feel happier than I am,” His answer comes out more honest than he planned for and he immediately feels his cheeks and ears redden.

The older is probably going to laugh at him.

In his head, he tries to calculate the possibility of Yeonjun’s chances of living if he flings himself out the door.

“That makes sense,” Yeonjun agrees.

Soobin waits until he pulls up at the bakery to reply so he can see whether Yeonjun is teasing him or not.

He turns on the boy once he’s parked, fully prepared to defend himself from mockery only to see that there’s no sign of taunting present on his face.

“Really?” Soobin asks, a little dumbfounded.

Yeonjun frowns a little, a pout forming on his lips as he does so.

“Yes? Why are you looking at me like that?” 

Soobin shakes his head. “Sorry, thought you were being sarcastic or something.” 

Yeonjun raises his eyebrows. “I’m not actually an asshole, I thought we established that those were rumours.”

Soobin’s eyes go wide. “No! That’s not what I meant at all. I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that…” 

He hides his face in his hands.

Soobin really is dumb.

Maybe he should just stop speaking altogether.

Nothing he ever says comes out right anyway.

“Hey, Dimples,” Yeonjun’s voice makes him look up. There’s a soft smile on his face and a sparkle in his eyes. “It’s okay. I was teasing you, I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong, okay?”

“Why do you call me that?” Soobin asks, distracted. 

“What? Dimples?” 

Soobin nods his head and Yeonjun reaches out to poke Soobin’s cheek lightly. 

“Well you have dimples, don’t you?” 

When Soobin doesn’t answer, Yeonjun sighs. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop-”

“Aish! No, Yeonjun-ssi-”

“Hyung, please.” 

“Hyung,” Soobin corrects himself, feeling oddly embarrassed at the closeness of the term. “It’s okay, I was just wondering.” 

“I mean I thought it was pretty obvious. Did you not know you have dimples?” He seems genuinely confused at the thought.

Soobin winces. 

He’s aware of his dimples- even with his reluctance to look in the mirror his dimples would be hard to miss. 

Soobin can’t pinpoint why the older’s nickname sticks out to him so much so he just sighs and opens his door.

“Nevermind, Hyung. Let’s go, we have to bake croissants today.” 

Later that evening, sitting at the table with his parents his mother taps his arm. “How did Yeonjun do today, BinBin?”

Soobin thinks back to the burnt tray of croissants the older offered Soobin and his pout when Soobin had laughed at him. 

He stifles a laugh and looks at his mother seriously.

“He did great, Ma.” 

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“Yeonjun, have you heard anything I said in the past five minutes?” 

Yeonjun’s dad’s grumble snaps him out of the sleepy daze he fell into.

He rubs his eyes and stares down at his half eaten plate of food and then up to his dad’s annoyed face. 

“He’s tired, darling,” Seri interrupts gently. “Yeonjun-ah, your dad was just saying that he wants you at his birthday coming up soon.” 

He forgot his dad’s birthday is approaching.

Yeonjun tries to contain his dismay but it must still show on his face because his dad shoots him a look.

“Watch your attitude,” His dad warns.

Yeonjun grips his fork and forces himself to take a bite of his steak before he answers.

“What’s the theme this time?” He asks, tone light.

“It’s a creative black tie event,” Seri answers, sensing the tension in the room. Yeonjun nods, pretending to understand what that means.

“I’ll make you your outfit Yeonjunnie. I’ll just have to take specific measurements this time,” Seri assures him, swiftly grabbing the sharp knife Renjun managed to get his hands on.

He gives her a small but sincere smile. “Thank you, Sae-eomma,”

She returns the gesture before frowning at Renjun who stubbornly grabs another knife. 

“You’re welcome to bring a friend,” His dad adds.

Yeonjun sighs in relief.

At least he doesn’t have to go through this alone, he can bring Beomgyu and they can drink the expensive champagne while making fun of all his dad’s rich friends.

“Just not that one- what’s his name again? Bonghwa? Byeongu-”

“BEOMGYU! And why the hell not?” Yeonjun finally snaps.

Renjun gasps and his eyes widen at Yeonjun’s sudden outburst.

Seri glances nervously between her son and Yeonjun. “Yeonjunnie-”

“I don’t like him, that’s why,” His father answers plainly. He points his knife directly at Yeonjun, his black eyes hard and cold as he stares his son down. “And watch that damn mouth of yours. You’d do well to remember who you’re speaking to.” 

Yeonjun opens his mouth but Seri jumps in quickly. “I’m feeling rather under the weather, darling. Can we call dinner a night for today? I want to put Renjun to bed.” 

There’s a long moment of silence as Yeonjun’s dad keeps his narrowed eyes on Yeonjun and Yeonjun stares back unblinkingly.

His dad mutters something under his breath and stands up abruptly from the table. He doesn’t bother to say bye to Yeonjun as he stomps away in annoyance.

Seri lets out a relieved sigh and Renjun looks after his dad in confusion. 

Yeonjun clears his throat, feeling bad as he looks at the stressed look on his step-mother’s dainty face. “Sorry, Sae-eomma.” 

She looks up in surprise. Her silky black hair falls around her face perfectly like a porcelain doll. She reminds Yeonjun of his mum when she was younger.

“Nothing to apologize for, Yeonjunnie,” She tells him, smoothing Renjun’s chestnut hair. 

He doesn’t know what else to say so he stands up, very much ready to leave.

“Give me a hug, little man. I’m going to head out,” He says to Renjun after walking around the table to him.

Renjun pouts but dutifully throws his arms around Yeonjun’s neck when he crouches down. He gives the little boy a tight squeeze. Seri watches the two of them with a fond smile on her face.

“When do you need me to come in for measurements?” He asks Seri when he stands and ruffles Renjun’s hair.

“I can imagine you don’t want to spend more time than you want to here so we can take a few moments after dinner when you visit next. I’ll just look for fabric in the meanwhile,” She explains to Yeonjun.

“Ah… thank you, Sae-eomma,” He pauses and takes a moment to drag his eyes away from Renjun. “Really, I mean it.” 

She gives him a strained smile and nods her head.

Yeonjun peels Renjun off his legs and gives him one last fist bump before turning to leave.

“Yeonjun-ah,” Seri calls out suddenly when he’s halfway to the door. He pauses and turns around to look at her, “I’m… sorry about your dad. You can bring your friend Beomgyu, okay? I’ll work on it,” She promises.

The last thing he sees is Renjun’s face resting on his mum’s shoulder as she scoops him up and walks away with him.

When Yeonjun gets home his mum is still up. She sits in front of the television, tiredly munching on the bowl of ramen he had made for her before he left for his dad.

“Hey mum,” He calls once inside, throwing his keys onto the table and making his way over to her.

She tears her eyes away to give him a strained smile. Stray pieces of her hair stick out from the tight bun it’s tied into and she’s still in her work clothes.

It’s clear that she’s tired from the bags under her eyes and the sag in her shoulders but Yeonjun still thinks his mum is beautiful.

“Yeonjunnie.”

He plants a kiss on her forehead and sits down next to her.

He’s stuffed from the dinner at his dad’s but when she scoops up some noodles on her chopsticks and feeds him, he doesn’t object.

“How was your dad’s tonight?” She asks lightly.

Yeonjun snorts. “Miserable. I forgot that his stupid birthday is coming up.” 

“He’s your dad,” His mum says but he knows she only means it as a joke.

“He’s my dad as much as I’m Einstein.” 

His mum laughs at that and Yeonjun wishes he heard it more. She runs a gentle hand atop his head to smooth his hair out. Yeonjun lets himself enjoy the moment even though it’s short lived.

“How are you, Yeonjun-ah?” His mum asks, turning her attention back to the tv.

Yeonjun thinks of all the things he could tell her. The bakery, the group project, Beomgyu being upset… 

But taking one look at her now banishes all those thoughts from his brain.

She’s got enough going on.

“Good, mum,” He stands up. “Get some rest, please.”

She nods her head absent mindedly and Yeonjun places one last kiss on the top of her head before heading to his room.

He flops onto the bed and lays there for a long time.

It’s not like he doesn’t have work to do- with the bakery taking up all his extra time he’s only barely keeping up with all his assignments. He should do some work now too but as much as he tells himself to move, his body remains still. 

His phone interrupts his thoughts and he digs into his pocket to retrieve it where it buzzes against his thigh.

“Hey, BG,” He answers without checking who it is.

Nobody else phones him.

“You’re tired,” Beomgyu states as a manner of greeting. “How was your dad?”

Yeonjun sighs but tells him about his dinner with his dad.

“Wow I didn’t think I was obvious about not liking him,” Beomgyu says after Yeonjun fills him in.

“Are you being for real? You’ve glared at him every single time you’re around him,” Yeonjun scoffs in disbelief.

“Okay well to be fair he deserves it,” Beomgyu replies. Yeonjun can hear the pout in his voice.

“He does,” Yeonjun agrees, flipping onto his side and closing his eyes. “But Seri said I could bring you to his birthday thing. I don’t know how she’s going to manage that with my dad but hey, at least you can come.”

Yeonjun is rather interested in how his step mother intends on convincing his dad. Maybe he’ll ask her the next time he sees her.

“Aw yeah, always down to join you in making fun of snobby rich people. When is it? Also, I know your dad’s fancy so what’s the theme?” 

Yeonjun smiles to himself.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy going to his dad’s events with Beomgyu. The younger always managed to make the experience enjoyable.

“It’s a few days after the presentation I think? The theme is creative black tie, whatever that means,” He answers.

“That’s so extra. Why didn’t he just choose a normal black tie like everybody else does?” Beomgyu whines.

“You know how my dad is. Has to have the best of everything.” 

“I guess,” He replies doubtfully. “How was the bakery today?” 

Yeonjun thinks back to Soobin’s look of pure panic when he had presented the taller with a bowl of hardened chocolate.

“It didn’t work,” Yeonjun shifted on his feet.

“What did you do?” Soobin asked, sounding more baffled than upset.

“I melted the chocolate like you said to.” 

“Show me which chocolate you used,” Soobin said.

Yeonjun pointed to the jar of chocolate pieces he had used.

Soobin smacked his forehead. “Aish Hyung! Those are chocolate chips, you’re supposed to use candy melts,” He points to a jar next to the chocolate chips that look similar to the chocolate pieces he used.

“Well how was I supposed to know? They look the same,” Yeonjun had replied in annoyance.

He would’ve used the right one had he known the difference.

When Soobin looked at Yeonjun, he expected Soobin to reprimand him. Yeonjun had burnt and wasted a lot of chocolate.

He was also being rude about it after all.

Instead, it looked like Soobin was trying not to laugh.

“What?” Yeonjun snapped. If something was funny he wanted to join in on the joke too.

Soobin shook his head but his dimples appeared softly on his cheeks as he looked down and tried to hide his smile.

“Nothing. Sorry, Hyung that was my fault. See the difference between the two is that…” 

“I don’t think I’m getting the job,” Yeonjun replies, shaking himself out of the daydream he fell into.

“You’ll get it,” Beomgyu insists.

“I appreciate your faith but-”

“You’ll. get. the. job,” Beomgyu punctuates each word. “Now shut up okay? Also are you going to be okay to hangout tomorrow night at my house?” 

Yeonjun blinks, a little startled by the switch up.

“What’s happening tomorrow again?”

“We’re hanging at my house tomorrow evening with Soobin and them to work on our presentation,” Beomgyu reminds him patiently.

“Oh. Yeah, I’ll be fine, BG. Think I’ll just try and get some work done now,” He says, closing his eyes.

“Okay. Get some rest too okay Hyung? I love you, talk to you tomorrow.”

“Love you too BG,” He replies softly before ending the call.

He lays on his bed in silence unconsciously drifting asleep before his phone buzzes on his chest. 

He groans but reluctantly forces his eyes open and brings the phone up to his face. 

He blinks.

It’s a text from Soobin.

_Hey. Sorry to text you so late at night, I just wanted to ask you something? If you have time…_

Yeonjun stares at the message for about three minutes trying to assess what Soobin would want.

Maybe he knows about Beomgyu?

_hey. yeah, go ahead._

He hits send and stares at his phone as the three dots appear on his screen almost immediately.

_Do you wanna carpool together tomorrow? I figured we’re going to the same places- uni, the bakery and then Beomgyu’s yeah? Might save us petrol._

_Only if you’re up for it_ , he adds a minute later.

Yeonjun thinks about the offer. 

It seems… sudden, considering Soobin didn’t want to associate himself with Yeonjun just a few days ago. 

_you mean we go to uni together?_

Soobin takes longer to respond this time. 

_Well yeah. I could pick you up for class and then we go to the bakery and then Beomgyu’s. You can direct me since I haven’t been there. But again, no pressure. Just thought it made sense lol._

Yeonjun taps his finger on the back of his phone in thought. On one hand, he could save money on petrol which he’d be grateful for seeing as how he’s low on cash. 

He’s just well aware of the fact that nobody except Beomgyu knows where he lives.

It’s not that he’s ashamed of his small house- Yeonjun doesn’t have space in his life for people who make him feel bad for something he can’t control.

It’s more the fact that it would raise questions he’s not willing to answer.

_sounds good. i’ll text you my address later, just busy with something._

He doesn’t wait for Soobin’s response as he drags himself off of his bed and to his desk where his laptop sits. He quickly opens up Google maps and punches in his address then switches to street view. He scrolls for a short while before finding a modest looking house a few blocks from his. He can just have Soobin pick him up from there instead.

He texts it to Soobin and they settle on meeting at eleven considering both of them don’t have a morning class.

When he’s done, he sighs and leans back in his chair. He so badly wants to get some sleep but he knows if he falls behind work now, he won’t be able to keep up.

He closes Google maps and opens the reading he was busy with earlier today in class and works long into the night.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

The next morning when Soobin picks him up outside a few blocks from his house, Yeonjun is basically asleep on his feet. 

“Hey,” Soobin greets him from inside his car, reaching over to open the passenger door for Yeonjun.

Yeonjun can only offer a grunt in response. He rests his head on the window and tries his best not to fall asleep as he watches the houses and greenery pass him by. 

Soobin must get the sense that the older isn’t up for chatting because he just turns on the radio. 

Yeonjun has to try extra hard to stay awake when the younger starts humming along to the song playing from the speakers. 

“How are you?” He asks. 

Partly to keep himself awake, partly because Soobin’s radiating a nervous energy that he feels the need to calm down. 

“Oh I’m okay, thank you for asking. Nothing interesting to say I guess…” He trails off and pauses before continuing again. “What about you? I’m sorry I don’t mean to be rude but you seem tired.” 

Yeonjun snorts. “You could just say I look like shit, you know. No need to sugar coat it.”

Soobin’s eyes widen. “Oh no I really didn’t mean it like that, you actually look really nice today I just meant that I can see you’re tired-”

“Only today?” Yeonjun interrupts.

“What?”

“You said I look nice today. Does that mean I don’t look nice on other days?”

Yeonjun’s well aware what Soobin means but he can’t help the small smile that creeps on his face when he sees Soobin begin to sputter.

“NO that’s really not what I’m saying oh my God, like you always look good really I just meant today in particular you-”

He stops short when Yeonjun breaks out into laughter. 

“You’re the worst,” Soobin whines, resting his head on the steering wheel when he pulls up at the red light. 

“I’m sorry, Dimples,” He reaches out to playfully tug the other’s bright red ear.

It’s soft.

Yeonjun’s reminded of the dough he was prepping at the bakery the other day. 

“It’s just cu-funny when you get embarrassed. The light’s green, by the way.” 

Soobin lifts his head and turns right at the traffic light. 

Yeonjun only answers Soobin’s original question when they pull into the parking lot at the university. “I just don’t have a lot of time to do uni work anymore with the bakery and… other things. I end up working late into the night so I don’t fall behind is all.”

“Oh that sounds really tiring,” He responds.

Yeonjun shrugs in response.

“If you need help with Criminology let me know, okay? I can't guarantee I’ll be great but we can work together sometimes if you’re struggling,” He says slowly.

Yeonjun isn’t sure how to respond. He finds this happens a lot around Soobin. 

“Or not,” Soobin rushes to say. “Sorry, it was just-”

“No! No, sorry that sounds really helpful. I just…” 

“You just?” Soobin prompts gently.

Yeonjun shakes his head and smiles instead. “Nothing. I’ll take you up on your offer and hit you up when I need help.”

Soobin gives him a smile that takes over his entire face. Yeonjun’s hand twitches at his side with the need to poke his dimples.

“Speaking of which,” Soobin says pulling his phone out and unlocking it. “Don’t we have it first thing today?” 

Yeonjun thought it was his second class but it turns out that Soobin is right so the two walk to class together. 

They take the seats near the back seeing as how most of the front and middle seats are taken. He tries his best to ignore how a few people he recognizes from other classes shift uncomfortably before moving two seats further away from him. 

Under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t bother him.

He’s dealt with the looks and the uncomfortable stares for long enough now. 

So when he feels a small lump form in his throat, he brushes it off to sleep deprivation. 

Two girls near the front row whisper to each other and throw a few looks in his direction. 

It could be about anything, he tells himself. 

But his brain has been wired to think that it’s about him.

“Hyung?”

Yeonjun drags his eyes away from the girls to see Soobin’s gentle eyes on him. “Let’s compare notes? To see what you might be missing or something.” 

Yeonjun welcomes the distraction gratefully and pulls out his notebook, flipping past pages and pages of illegible scribbles of notes from his other classes. 

For the most part, Yeonjun sits silently and watches Soobin compare their notes to see what Yeonjun might have missed out on. His notes are much more put together- colour coded, blocky letters with underlined headings and bullet points. 

Yeonjun doesn’t know at which point he fell asleep.

One moment they’re shifting their focus away from the notes to the lecturer, the next Soobin is tapping him gently on the shoulder to wake him.

“Class is over, Hyung,” Soobin whispers.

Yeonjun lifts head from where it rests on Soobin’s shoulder and blinks in confusion. 

“Sorry,” He mumbles, slightly embarrassed.

He hopes he didn’t drool on the taller’s shoulder.

He looks at Soobin who doesn’t seem bothered in the least. Up close, Yeonjun can see how long his lashes are. 

Soobin gives him a small smile. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll catch you up on what you missed some other day but I should get going to my next class. I’ll see you later?” 

Yeonjun nods and Soobin gives him one last smile before getting up and exiting the lecture hall. 

The rest of the day seems to pass in a blur. He only has two other classes today, one before and after lunch and they both pass quicker than usual.

Before he knows it, he’s at the bakery with Soobin asking the other about his day while squeezing jelly carefully into a donut.

“I just had lunch with Taehyun and Kai. The other class I had today was just a revision lecture so there wasn’t much going on. What about you?” Soobin asks, his eyes carefully monitoring Yeonjun’s movements.

“Beomgyu was on a different part of campus today so I just used the break to carry on with work,” Yeonjun shrugs. “Nothing interesting.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me? You could’ve had lunch with us,” Soobin says with a frown.

Yeonjun pauses.

The thought hadn’t crossed his mind at the time.

Does this mean Soobin considers him a friend?

“Hyung? Everything okay?” 

“Yeah… Sorry. Got lost in thought. Am I doing this right?” 

“Yes. Just ease up on the jam a little. Text me next time okay?” 

“Why?” Yeonjun blurts out. 

Soobin stares at him as if he asked something stupid.

“Because I don’t want you to eat alone. Why else?” He says it plainly, as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world and he can’t believe he’s explaining it to Yeonjun. 

Yeonjun really needs to get more sleep because for the second time today he feels a lump form in his throat. 

He wants to punch himself because it’s so incredibly stupid.

All Soobin had done was offer him a place with them at lunch. 

And yet… 

Beomgyu had only ever been the one to do that.

Yeonjun clears his throat and looks away, urging the tears he feels prickle at his eyes away. 

“Thank you, I’ll text you next time,” His voice comes out roughly. 

Soobin seems to want to say something but must decide against it because they work the rest of the shift in a comfortable silence. 

By the time they reach Beomgyu’s house, Yeonjun’s decided that he doesn’t want to see another jelly donut for a couple of months. 

He didn’t get the chance to tell Beomgyu that they’d be arriving together so when Beomgyu opens the door to find the two standing beside each other he seems a little surprised. 

“Hey BG,” He ruffles his friend’s head and makes his way inside. Soobin gives the younger a quick hug and follows suit.

He stops short when he sees Taehyun and Kai already seated in the living room.

“I guess you were right Taehyun, they did come together,” He hears Beomgyu say from behind him. 

“Well yeah, they both were working at the bakery,” Taehyun shoots Soobin a look Yeonjun can’t decipher and Kai tackles him in a hug, nearly knocking Soobin over. 

“I literally saw you a few hours ago,” Soobin says with a laugh but hugs Kai back tightly nonetheless.

“And what about it?” Kai asks with a pout on his lips that even Yeonjun has to admit is cute. 

“Hey BG, are your parents home? I wanna say hi.”

Beomgyu nods his head and gestures for Yeonjun to follow him.

He turns to Soobin with a smile. “Make yourself at home, we’ll be back soon,”

With that, he leads Yeonjun upstairs most likely to his parents bedroom.

“How was your day Hyungie?” 

“Uh, nothing special I guess? Soobin actually texted me last night-”

“He texted you?” Beomgyu interrupts, stopping abruptly at the top of the staircase to look down at Yeonjun. 

“Yeah? He wanted to know if we could carpool together considering we were going to all the same places.” 

“Oh. That’s why you arrived together,” He turns around and continues walking.

“Yeah, thought I could save on petrol money.” 

Beomgyu doesn’t respond and merely knocks on his mum’s door, announcing that Yeonjun is here to greet her.

They wait patiently as his mum calls out to give her a few minutes.

Yeonjun uses the time to look at Beomgyu who suddenly seems bothered.

“Hey,” Yeonjun puts a finger under the younger’s chin and looks into his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Hs mumbles and averts his eyes. “It’s stupid.” 

Yeonjun is about to say that it isn’t stupid if it’s bothering him but Beomgyu’s mum chooses then to throw open the door and engulf him in a hug. 

He throws Beomgyu a meaningful look over her shoulder and mouths, _Later_. 

They return to Taehyun putting Kai in a headlock

The sight is rather comical considering how Taehyun has to stand on his toes to even reach the boy’s head but his grip looks tight regardless.

Kai flails and Yeonjun can’t tell if he’s laughing or choking.

Soobin watches the two of them in amusement. 

“One more word out of you and I’ll break-”

Beomgyu coughs loudly and Taehyun’s head whips up.

He immediately eases his grip and Kai wiggles away, darting toward Soobin where he hides.

His face is red as he struggles to breathe in between fits of laughter.

“Everything okay?” Beomgyu asks a very red Taehyun. 

“Perfect! Kai and I were just messing around,” He pats his hair down. The colour is slowly starting to fade. “Let’s talk about our project, yeah?” 

Beomgyu laughs but doesn’t protest and they all take their seats around the coffee table. 

Yeonjun lands up sandwiched between Taehyun and Kai, opposite Soobin and Beomgyu who sits next to him. Even though Yeonjun made sure his friend could sit next to his crush it still feels weird to not have him by his side. 

While they talk, he keeps on accidentally catching Soobin’s eye. Soobin’s immediate response is to look away which Yeonjun finds funny.

Yeonjun winks the next time it happens to see the boy’s response.

Soobin stifles a laugh and bites his lip so he doesn’t interrupt Taehyun’s explanation.

He looks back at Yeonjun eventually and does the same thing- or at least tries to because he can’t wink so it just looks like an exaggerated blink.

Yeonjun is the one who has to fight off laughter this time.He chuckles under his breath and glances away, catching Beomgyu’s eyes in the process who has a strange expression on his face.

Yeonjun raises his eyebrows in question but Beomgyu just looks away.

“How are we going to split the work?” Beomgyu asks, looking to Taehyun.

“Well there are five of us so maybe… two working on the research, two presenting and the fifth one works on putting all the information together?” Taehyun reasons.

“Makes sense,” Beomgyu agrees. “Who wants to present?”

“Beomgyu-ah, you’ve always been good at presenting,” Yeonjun says.

Beomgyu shrugs in response. “That’s okay. Who will do it with me?”

Yeonjun is about to volunteer but Taehyun beats him to it.

“I’ll present with Beomgyu Hyung. If it’s okay with everybody else?” He looks around to check for any objections.

Soobin raises his hands to his chest. “Hey I’d rather die than do public speaking so no complaints from me.”

“I’d like to put all the information together. Not to brag but I’m really good at making PowerPoint slides,” Kai admits proudly.

“That leaves Soobin Hyung and Yeonjun Hyung for the research. Is everybody okay with that?” Taheyun checks with the rest of them.

Everybody nods in response. Yeonjun tries to catch Beomgyu’s eyes but the younger one purposely looks away.

They talk about the project a little more before Beomgyu’s mum yells to say that the pizza is ready for them.

Everybody seems to agree that nothing more can be said about the project for now so they break for dinner and talk idly about nothing as they inhale slice after slice.

“We should do a games night soon,” Kai suggests as he, Soobin and Taehyun prepare to leave. 

Beomgyu brightens at that. “Yeah! That could be really cool. Maybe after the presentation is over? To celebrate,” He stuffs his hands in his pockets a little sheepishly.

“That sounds fun, Beomgyu-ah,” Soobin smiles at him. His eyes move to Yeonjun. “Do you need a ride home, Hyung?”

Yeonjun spares a glance at Beomgyu before shaking his head. “I’ll be fine. Thank you though. For the lifts today in general.”

Soobin rubs the back of his neck. “Ah don’t mention it. Taehyun-ah and NingNing are you ready?”

Beomgyu and Yeonjun lead them to the door and wave goodbye as they get into Soobin’s car and drive off.

“What’s wrong?” Yeonjun says immediately once they shut the door.

“It’s stupid,” Beomgyu shakes his head.

“Aish, just tell me will you? I don’t care if it’s small or not. I care about your feelings,” Yeonjun frowns.

Beomgyu sighs. He doesn’t say anything as the two make their way to his bedroom.

“I just... ” He flops onto his bed and stares at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I was just having a bad day I guess and was texting you and you didn’t respond all day so I got upset,”

He covers his face with his hands. “See? Told you it was dumb.”

Yeonjun instantly feels bad.

He remembers reading Beomgyu’s texts but put it off because he had been talking to Soobin about something.

“Ah Beommie, it’s not silly,” He walks to Beomgyu and stands so that he leans over him.

Beomgyu opens his eyes, the big and brown ones that always manage to make Yeonjun’s day.

“I should've responded, I just got distracted. I know you like talking things out when you’re upset so I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you,” Yeonjun pokes his nose. “Want me to stay over? I’ll make it up to you by watching that show of yours with you.”

Beomgyu’s eyes widen. “You’ll watch Love Island with me?”

“I mean I _guess_...” Yeonjun trails off but he doesn’t need to say more because Beomgyu’s already jumping up from the bed in excitement. 

“It’s a good show, Hyungie. You’ll see, the drama is so,” He mimics a chef’s kiss with his fingers.

Yeonjun rolls his eyes but smiles at him all the same. “Sounds fake but okay.”

Beomgyu ends up falling asleep after two episodes. His head rests on Yeonjun’s shoulder who hums contentedly, close to falling asleep too as he listens to Beomgyu’s light snores.

His phone buzzes. 

Yeonjun nearly ignores it but thinks about who it could be and picks it up.

His mum doesn’t text him and the only other person who he talks to is resting right next to him so when he sees Soobin’s name pop up on his phone, he’s not surprised.

Just… curious.

 _Hey :) I just wanted to tell you that you did a great job at the bakery_ , the text reads. _I don’t think I mentioned it when we were together._

Yeonjun smiles and types out a response with one hand. 

_you’re lying but i appreciate the support anyway._

He hits send and then thinks for a bit before sending another.

_thank you again for the lifts today. you’re helping me a lot._

His response comes immediately.

_I’m not lying :/ Also really it’s cool, no need to thank me. I like helping people._

Yeonjun stares at his phone. He doesn’t know what to say but still wants to respond. 

He sees the three dots appear and waits patiently to see what Soobin says. 

_Hey. Do you wanna work on some research tomorrow after the shift at the bakery? That’s if you’re not busy and want to._

Yeonjun responds quickly. 

_sounds good._

_(:_

He adds a smiley at the last minute and locks his phone afterwards, placing it on the side table where it won’t disturb him.

He finds himself smiling as he finally drifts off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> end of today's update!! i'll post another on monday but i hope you're all enjoying it so far. tell me your favourite moments, every time i read your comments it makes my day ten times better <33


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a small warning- if you're sensitive there's a small moment in this chapter that might be triggering so please read with caution!!  
> i think this chapter is also shorter than the last few but it starts getting longer after this.  
> other than that, hope you enjoy <3

**Chapter Four**

Soobin hates making decisions.

It’s been like that ever since he was little.

It didn’t matter if the decision was small or insignificant. With decisions comes choices and choices give him anxiety. Choices mean that there’s always something you have to give up or somebody you could potentially disappoint.

Whenever Kai and Taehyun sleep over, they play those balancing games as they slowly drift asleep. 

“Be five years old again or see five years into the future?” Kai asked him one night.

“No,” Soobin had responded.

“Come on, Hyung. It’s not a trick question!” Kai whined.

“What if you had a gun pointed to your head and somebody said to choose one?” Taehyun prompted.

“I’d simply die,” He replied.

This is what runs through his mind as he stares at the menu above him in his favourite juice bar. 

It’s not his choice he’s worried about (he always gets the passion fruit and lemonade, it’s easily the best drink on the menu) but rather Yeonjun’s.

Soobin had been craving the drink since yesterday and thought it would be rude if he arrived at the bakery without something for the older. 

After taking much longer than he needs to, he picks a drink and quickly makes his way to the bakery. 

Yeonjun’s already there when he arrives.

His head is bowed down as he counts the money in the register but looks up when Soobin walks in.

“You look surprisingly awake for somebody who’s up at nine on a Saturday morning,” Soobin says, shrugging his jacket off.

“It’s because I didn’t sleep,” Yeonjun replies.

Soobin is about to laugh but one look at the older’s face tells him he’s not joking.

“ _HYUNG_ ,” Soobin yells. 

Yeonjun jumps slightly and drops the coins he was counting. 

“What?” He asks, a confused look on his face.

Soobin stares at him from the other side of the counter. “How are you going to survive the day? You have to work now and we still said we’d do some research afterwards?” 

Yeonjun shrugs and picks up the money he dropped. “It’s not my first time pulling an all nighter, I’ll be okay. What’s this?” He gestures to the two drinks Soobin placed on the counter.

Soobin shoots him a look to let him know he’s aware that the other is trying to change the subject. “Drinks from my favourite juice bar.”

He picks up his and pushes the other towards Yeonjun.

Soobin watches nervously as Yeonjun picks the drink up and takes a sip. His eyebrows shoot up and Soobin feels his heart sink.

“Do you not like it? Ah, I’m sorry I didn’t know what you’d like-”

“I like it!” Yeonjun interrupts.

Soobin looks at him doubtfully. “You don’t have to spare my feelings, Hyung if you don’t like it you can just-”

“I don’t lie, Dimples. I really like it. Is it mint flavoured?” He asks curiously, taking another sip.

Soobin sighs in relief. “Some other things too, lime if I’m not mistaken? But yeah mint is the main flavour I think.” 

“How’d you know?”

“How’d I know what?”

“That mint’s my favourite flavour,” Yeonjun stirs the drink and looks up Soobin.

“It is? Oh well it was just a guess. You smell like mint…"

He only realizes what he said when Yeonjun’s face goes slack. 

Soobin suddenly wishes he could be his seventy year old grandma Soojin and an alcoholic. He’d read somewhere that if you were old and drank a lot, your chances of human combustion are higher.

Yeonjun opens his mouth to say something but instead takes a long sip of his drink and looks down.

“What are we making today?” Yeonjun asks, his voice higher than normal. The tips of his ears are red and he pointedly recounts the money he had in his hands a few moments earlier. 

“I, uh, we’re gonna make cookies. Mum and dad usually take the afternoon shift so we can leave after lunch,” Soobin tells him, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Yeonjun nods his head and places the last of the money back into the register before looking up at Soobin. He has a smile on his face. “Sounds good.”

Soobin lets out a sigh of relief.

At least he didn’t freak the boy out.

Something Soobin discovered in the past week working with Yeonjun at the bakery is that he’s better at learning through observing and then copying. Give him set instructions and the chances of him getting it right are very low. 

“I think it’s a trait I picked up with dancing,” He explains from where he sits on the counter and watches Soobin roll the dough. “I could pick up the choreography in under ten minutes just by watching it on repeat.” 

“That’s super impressive,” Soobin admits as he squashes the dough.

“Yeah…” Yeonjun trails off a little sadly. 

The look on his face causes Soobin’s heart to tug.

“Hey, if you sit too still you’ll fall asleep. Come help me,” Soobin calls out to him. 

Maybe he can distract the older for a little bit.

Yeonjun hops off the counter and stands just behind Soobin, peering over his shoulder. He can feel Yeonjun’s hair brush against his ear.

“So you just, uhm, roll it like this and make sure there’s flour on the board so it doesn’t stick…” 

He explains the process as best as he can, hyper aware of Yeonjun’s chin resting on his shoulder. 

“...Yeah so that’s it. Make sense?” He turns his head to see if Yeonjun caught what he said and finds Yeonjun’s eyes on him. 

“It does,” He agrees.

His breath still smells minty from the drink.

He looks at Soobin almost curiously and Soobin can only focus on the different hues of brown he sees in the older’s eyes. 

Flecks of copper and bronze, dark bits of ebony, drops of amber like the maple tree leaves in autumn on the tree in his backyard… 

Soobin catches his breath. 

“You have pretty eyes,” He mumbles mostly to himself.

Yeonjun opens his mouth to respond.

“Your lips-”

_PING!_

The two of them spring apart.

“Helloooooo,” A girl’s voice calls out. “Anybody here?”

Soobin glances at Yeonjun who looks… annoyed?

Soobin can’t tell. 

He clears his throat. “We should probably, uh, you know…” 

He doesn’t wait for Yeonjun to respond before he leaves to go to the front of the store.

Standing on the other side of the counter are two girls who look oddly familiar. 

“Hi,” The shorter girl with a blonde bob cut greets. “Can I please get one of your chocolate croissants. What do you want, Mina?” She asks the taller girl with long black hair.

“I’ll just have a-” Her friend, Mina, Soobin supposes, pales when her eyes catch on something behind Soobin’s shoulder. 

When he turns around, all he sees is Yeonjun.

His face is wiped completely clean, no trace of any of the curiosity Soobin saw just moments before.

Just a blank face with eyes that look awfully empty all of a sudden.

He stands rigidly, so still Soobin resists the urge to poke him to see if he’ll fall over like a marble statue. 

“What the fuck are _you_ doing here?” The blonde girl spits out, her burning eyes on Yeonjun.

Yeonjun’s eyes aren’t on her but on Mina instead who in return, looks between Yeonjun and her friend in panic.

“Yeri,” She mutters to her friend and tugs on her sleeve insistently. “Let’s go. Please.”

Yeri doesn’t seem to want to budge. Soobin stands and looks between the girls and Yeonjun, unsure of what to do.

“You don’t have anything to say for yourself?” She yells at Yeonjun.

Again, he remains silent and stares at Mina. Yeri might as well not be there for him.

“You’re unbelievable. Can’t believe after all this time you haven’t apologized and you’re just standing there acting all innocent, you fucking pi-” 

“Get out." 

Soobin isn’t even aware that he’s the one who said it until the three of them turn to look at him. 

Under normal circumstances, he probably would’ve apologized or simply ran away.

But this time he looks right at the blonde girl and repeats himself. “Get out, please. You’re not welcome here anymore."

Yeri blinks at him in surprise. Her face turns even redder than it originally was and she opens her mouth to respond but Mina takes the opportunity to finally yank her away. 

“We’re _going_ ,” She hisses and shoves Yeri with all her might towards the door. 

She throws one last look at Yeonjun, one that Soobin swears is guilty, before pushing the door open and dragging Yeri with her. 

Soobin turns to Yeonjun who breathes heavily.

“Hyung,” He looks down at Yeonjun’s white fists. “Are you okay?”

Yeonjun stares at the door. “You shouldn’t have done that,” He whispers. “What if they go around complaining about the service?”

Soobin takes a step toward him and hesitantly reaches out to touch his trembling hand.

“The bakery will be fine. Two girls can’t cause that much harm,” Soobin assures him.

Yeonjun finally drags his eyes away from the door and looks at Soobin. His face is still carefully blank.

“Two girls can’t cause that much harm…” He echoes then looks down to the hand Soobin touches lightly. 

He takes a step back. “The cookies,” He states robotically. “We were busy with the cookies."

With that, he turns around and heads back into the back room. 

Soobin stares after him.

_What the hell happened?_

Yeonjun doesn’t say anything for the rest of the shift. 

He doesn’t smile, laugh, roll his eyes or tease Soobin no matter how many opportunities Soobin gives him. Eventually, Soobin stops trying and they work in silence.

He’s close to asking Yeonjun if he wants to reschedule their work when their shift nears an end.

Soobin looks at him wiping the counter where they were rolling cookie dough. He still looks dead-faced.

What should he do? Soobin doesn’t want to prod the older but he’s worried and doesn’t know how to act in situations like these.

He startles when the store bell chimes and he hears his mum and dad. 

“How are you boys doing?” His dad asks, clapping Soobin on the back. 

“Slow morning,” Soobin shrugs, watching carefully as his mum greets Yeonjun by reaching up to pat his cheek.

For a moment, he seems to temporarily come back to himself. He blinks in surprise and looks down at Soobin’s mum who gives him a warm smile before she moves to Soobin.

“You’re free to leave now, you two. Your dad and I will handle it from here, BinBin. Have fun studying,” His mum tells him, engulfing him in a quick hug. 

When they’re outside, Soobin doesn’t spot Yeonjun’s car anywhere.

 _Beomgyu must’ve dropped him off,_ he thinks to himself as he leads the other to his car.

He wants to ask if Yeonjun’s okay but that would be a dumb question because he’s clearly not. Soobin shakes his head and opens the passenger door for the older instead. He’ll talk when they’re at home. 

It’s not a long drive to his house and when Soobin opens the door to his bedroom, he can’t help but feel a little self conscious. He’d only ever really brought Taehyun and Huening Kai over.

He made sure to clean his room before he left this morning so all the scattered papers of failed or incomplete drawings have been tucked away neatly under books. 

He even rearranged his bookshelf so that they weren’t piled on top of each other messily like they usually were.

He fiddles with his hands as he watches Yeonjun take in the room slowly. His hand traces the spines of the books slowly before turning around and looking at Soobin. 

Even though he doesn’t look so… blank anymore, the lack of sleep seems to be catching up to him. Though the sagging shoulders could also just be a result of the encounter earlier.

He won’t be able to work like this.

“Let’s take a short break before we start, yeah?” Soobin suggests. “I’ll make us some hot chocolate and then we can work.” 

Yeonjun nods listlessly and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. He’s in the same position when Soobin returns with two hot mugs in hand.

He leaves the mugs on his bedside table before rushing off to fetch the chocolate snowballs he and his mum baked for home the other day.

“What are those?” Yeonjun asks, eyeing the transparent tupperware Soobin places on the table next to the hot chocolate.

“They’re called snowballs,” Soobin explains, hopping onto his bed. He picks up both the steaming mugs and offers one to Yeonjun who gets up to sit closer and accepts it.

They both lean their heads against the headboard and sip on their hot chocolates.

“They’re probably one of my favourite things that my mum makes,” He continues and places the tupperware between the two of them, taking out one and making sure to lightly tap the excess coconut off before popping one into his mouth. 

It’s soft and warm, the chocolate melting in his mouth immediately.

Yeonjun follows his lead and let’s out a hum of approval. 

Soobin watches him as he takes a sip of his hot chocolate and gazes at Soobin's wall that’s plastered with his sketches.

“I knew your art wasn’t bad,” He notes.

“It’s not the best,” Soobin responds, eyeing his most recent drawing. 

“It doesn’t have to be the best to be good,” Yeonjun says before taking another sip. 

They eat snowballs and sip their drinks in silence.

Soobin tries to think about a way to bring up the incident at the bakery.

Should he even try?

What if Yeonjun doesn’t want to talk about it? Maybe if he had, he would have brought it up by now.

At the same time Soobin can’t say that he isn’t concerned for Yeonjun as well as painfully curious.

Something about Yeonjun freezing up and trembling had permanently wormed its way into Soobin’s brain and now he can’t forget the image. Soobin doesn’t know what will come out of talking about it. Maybe so that if it happens again, he can reassure the older or take action sooner.

He just feels the need to… _know_ , so he can help Yeonjun somehow.

What had happened that had caused the usually unbothered boy to act so out of character?

“You wanna know what happened back in the bakery,” Yeonjun says, breaking the silence. 

If subtlety were a race, Soobin knows he’d come out last every single time.

_Well, no point in lying now._

“Only if you’re comfortable, Hyung. Otherwise we can carry on with work,” He pauses. “I’m just worried about you."

Yeonjun takes one long sip before placing his empty mug on the table and looking at Soobin.

“Why are you worried about me?” 

A good question, Soobin thinks.

“Because… because we’re friends now. I worry about all of my friends."

Yeonjun studies his face carefully and Soobin resists the urge to cover it with his hands. He doesn’t like being looked at all that much.

Yeonjun sighs and looks away, rubbing his eyes tiredly before closing them. 

“The shorter one you saw? Her name’s Yeri, the other girl is her best friend Mina. Yeri liked me for a while, I think. Sounds weird to say because I can never tell… She always tried speaking to me and invited me out a lot. I never accepted ‘cause I wasn’t interested, I had a lot going on at home. 

“Then… she invited me to a party. I didn’t even intend on going. The day of the party came around and I still wasn’t planning on it but then I- I just got into it with my dad. I was upset and just wanted something that would distract me. So I went to the party...” 

With Yeonjun’s eyes closed, Soobin’s free to watch him closely without fear of the other catching him in the act.

He notices small details he never saw before.

Everything from the soft curve of his nose to the almond shape of his eyes and the piercings that decorate his ear.

“I got drunk,” Yeonjun continues. “ _Way_ too drunk. That was my fault, I shouldn’t have drank so much. I don’t remember much of the night. I guess I made out with a lot of strangers, I’m not proud of it.

“At some point, I found myself alone in one of the bedrooms in the house. I think I was crying? It’s really blurry. I was alone and then suddenly I wasn’t. Mina was there. She was saying a lot of things I couldn’t understand, something about not having to tell Yeri…

“She started kissing me. I didn’t want to, I kept telling her to stop but at that point I was just… _so_ tired of everything. I just- I just wanted to stop thinking for a bit. So I let her."

Soobin holds his breath, waiting for the other to continue. 

“Then she just… she started tugging on my shirt,” Yeonjun’s voice is barely above a whisper. 

Soobin has to lean in to hear him. 

“That’s when I came back to my senses. I shoved her off me. I don’t know how roughly but when I looked up, Yeri was in my face screaming about what a pig I was."

Yeonjun swallows hard. 

Soobin sits in stunned silence.

He had imagined so many different scenarios. 

This was not one of them. 

“I can’t say for sure but… I think Mina told Yeri that I was the one who came onto her and then got violent when she didn’t respond. After that it was just easy to be the scapegoat. I made sure to never drink or even attend another party but it doesn’t matter, people believe what they want." 

“But… but why didn’t you try to defend yourself? You didn’t do anything wrong!” Soobin sputters.

A dark and ugly thing twists in his stomach, remembering all the times he’d avoided the older because he was one of the many people to believe the rumors he’d heard.

“I did at first,” Yeonjun opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling blankly. “It didn’t work but I did. But then Beomgyu found me and it didn’t matter that nobody else believed me cause he does. I still don’t know why but he does and having him is enough.” 

Yeonjun turns to look at Soobin, a sudden look of panic on his face. “I can’t lose him...” 

Soobin thinks to Beomgyu’s hand gripping his sleeve and insisting that Soobin makes sure that Yeonjun gets the job. 

“I don’t think you will, Junie. Beomgyu seems to care for you as much as you do for him,” Soobin says slowly. 

Yeonjun stares at Soobin. 

“What?” 

Soobin frowns. “I said he cares for you-”

“No,” He interrupts with a shake of his head. “Before that.” 

Soobin pauses to think and then it hits him. His hand flies to his mouth. “Aish Hyung, I’m so sorry! It just slipped out, I didn’t mean to be rude-”

“Say it again.” 

He looks at Soobin with his head cocked to the side. His hair covers his eyes slightly but Soobin can still see them bright and insistent behind the black strands. 

Soobin’s mouth feels dry. 

“...Junie?” 

Yeonjun smiles and turns his head away.

They sit in a comfortable silence before Soobin swallows and clears his throat so he can whisper to the boy. “Hey, Junie?”

“Mhmm?” He murmurs, eyes half closed. 

“Aren’t you tired?” 

“Extremely,” He admits, letting out a long breath and opening his eyes again. “But we have work so.”

Soobin isn’t sure how he’s meant to continue normally with work when Yeonjun just unloaded a bucket of trauma on him. However the other seems to want to move on so Soobin lets him, sparing him a glance every now and then as they make notes and discuss their research.

They don’t even notice how long they’ve been working until Soobin’s mum knocks on his door.

Both boys startle and look up to find his mum looking at them in concern. “How’s it going?”

Yeonjun blinks and looks outside the window where the sky has turned significantly dark. “What time is it?” He mumbles, throwing their papers around in an attempt to find his phone.

“Late,” Soobin’s mum answers with a frown. “Did you guys even eat dinner?”

The two of them shake their heads. “We didn’t even know it had gotten this late,” Soobin admits.

His mum sighs. “I had a feeling. Come, your dad and I brought food."

“Oh. I should probably get going then…” Yeonjun says, standing up and trying to get all his belongings in one place. 

“That would be awfully rude, considering we bought food for you,” His mum folds his arms and looks at Yeonjun with a raised eyebrow.

Yeonjun pauses. 

“Huh?” He chokes out.

Soobin’s mum laughs and taps the door frame. “Wash up you two and come quick, before it gets cold." 

With that, she leaves.

“They didn’t have to,” Yeonjun mumbles as the two of them head to the bathroom to wash their hands.

“Hyung, it’s really nothing. You’re a guest anyway,” Soobin assures him.

He doesn’t say anything but a frown still rests on his face as they make their way to the dining room. 

Soobin nudges his shoulder. “It’s okay,” He says again, this time giving Yeonjun what he hopes is a reassuring smile.

That seems to make him less rigid as they take their places at the dinner table. 

Soobin’s parents keep conversation with Yeonjun throughout dinner and ask him question after question about his life and what life’s like working at the bakery so far.

Soobin feels embarrassed and panicked by the sudden interrogation. Yeonjun keeps to himself so it can’t be comfortable answering one question after the other.

“What about your parents, Yeonjun-ah?” Soobin’s dad asks before taking another bite of his shawarma. “What do they do?”

If Soobin hadn’t been paying careful attention to the boy he would’ve missed the way Yeonjun’s smile falters for a brief moment.

“Mum works at the bank and does a lot of side jobs. Dad runs a business,” He answers politely, picking at the pieces of shawarma that fell onto his plate.

“A business eh? Must be a really smart man then,” His dad notes. 

Yeonjun snorts. “You would think."

“Hey it’s late,” Soobin interjects when he sees his dad open his mouth.

His dad frowns at him but Soobin ignores it. His dad is bad at picking up social cues, really all Soobin is doing is preventing a disaster.

“Do you need a lift?” Soobin asks, glancing at Yeonjun who looks at him gratefully.

“I was just going to walk, it’s-”

“WALK?” His mother exclaims.

Yeonjun jumps at the sudden change in tone and begins to explain himself. “It’s really okay it’s not that-”

“It doesn’t matter how far it is!” His mum says completely baffled. “It’s dark, what if something happens to you?”

“Mum,” Soobin interrupts with an exaggerated sigh. “It’s okay I’ll drive-”

“WHAT IF _YOU_ GET HURT THEN? DRIVING LATE AT NIGHT ISN'T SAFE BINBIN WE’VE TALKED ABOUT THIS!"

Yeonjun, Soobin and his dad sit and stare at his mother’s very red face in silence.

“Erm,” Soobin’s dad eventually says, a hand on his mother’s arm. “I think what your mother is saying Soobin-ah is that she doesn’t want either of you out this late at night.” 

His dad turns to look at a confused Yeonjun. “Yeonjun-ah, do you want to stay for the night? You and Soobin have the morning shift again anyway. If you don’t want to I will drive you home." 

Soobin wants to die. 

Looking at Yeonjun, he feels so embarrassed he’d rather jump into one of those pee infested kids pools than be sitting at this table witnessing the mess that’s unfolding.

“Ah I wouldn’t want to put you out of your way but I don’t want to intrude…” He trails off a little uncomfortably.

His dad waves his hand dismissively. “Not to worry, son. Jiyoo keeps spares of everything so she can give you anything you need and we have a spare mattress you can sleep on.” 

Yeonjun looks at Soobin but he can’t tell what the boy’s thinking so he merely shrugs his shoulders helplessly in response. 

“Ah,” Yeonjun clears his throat. “Thank you for the offer, I’ll stay for the night if it doesn’t inconvenience anybody…” He shoots Soobin an apologetic look at the last one. 

“Nonsense! Let me go find that mattress…” His dad announces as he stands up to leave.

His mother follows suit and claps her hands. “I will go to the pantry to get you a toothbrush and a face cloth!” 

Yeonjun and Soobin sit in an awkward silence. 

“I can leave if you want me to.”

“You can leave if you want to."

They say at the same time. 

Soobin pauses and busies his hands with cleaning the table as Yeonjun watches him carefully. “I mean… I just don’t want you to stay because my parents pressured you to stay,” He explains. 

“What if I just… want to stay?” Yeonjun asks carefully, avoiding his eyes. 

“I’d let you,” Soobin replies without missing a beat. 

Yeonjun’s silent for a long while. 

“Then I’ll stay,” He replies just before Soobin’s mother returns with a clear zip locked bag filled with toiletries for Yeonjun. 

As it turns out, Soobin’s dad was wrong about having an extra mattress. 

“I’m sorry, BinBin,” His dad says, scratching the back of his head from where he stands in the doorway. “I must’ve gotten rid of it and forgot.”

“Really dad it’s okay. I’ll just take the floor,” He gestures to the small set up next to the bed he curated. 

His dad apologizes one more time before leaving Soobin alone in his room while he waits for Yeonjun to finish showering.

They had tried to work a little more after dinner but Yeonjun’s eyes were practically on the floor so they wrapped it up for the day.

Soobin sighs and scrolls through his phone. He sees a text from Beomgyu. 

_Hey, Hyung :) Have you heard anything from Yeonjun since your shift at the bakery? I tried texting him but he hasn’t responded._

Soobin’s about to type out a response when Yeonjun appears from the bathroom. 

He’s never thought of Yeonjun as small despite being taller than him but seeing him dressed in Soobin’s t-shirt and sweatpants, he looks particularly tiny.

Soobin gets a flash of the older’s toned stomach as he bunches up the t-shirt and ties it so that it looks less baggy on him. Part of Soobin knows that he’s staring but he can’t seem to stop himself.

Something about him looks so distinctly… _different_ that Soobin’s having a hard time dragging his eyes away from the older. 

“What are you doing?” Yeonjun asks as he pats his damp hair down. 

Soobin can still see drops of water roll down the older’s neck.

What was he doing again?

He looks down at the phone in his hand and sees Beomgyu’s text. “OH! Beomgyu’s looking for you.” 

Yeonjun frowns and walks to his phone. “I meant what are you doing on the floor but thanks.”

“My dad can’t find the extra mattress so I’m taking the floor, you can have the bed,” Soobin explains.

“It’s your house, you should sleep on your bed,” He counters, not glancing up from his phone as he types out a message. 

“You’re a guest,” Soobin says with a firm shake of his head. 

They go back and forth like this before Yeonjun gives up and agrees to take the bed. “You’re not gonna be able to sleep well,” He mutters.

It turns out that Yeonjun is right. The floor is mighty uncomfortable and after an hour of tossing and turning, Yeonjun sighs in exasperation and peeks his head over the edge of the bed.

“Can you _please_ just take the bed,” He begs, peering at Soobin in the dim light that the moon provides.

“What makes you think you’ll be better off on the floor?” Soobin mutters. 

Yeonjun smacks his forehead loudly. “Aish! Why are you so stubborn?” He doesn’t give Soobin a chance to respond. “Let’s just share then, please. I’m tired and your tossing and turning is going to keep me up all night." 

Soobin doesn’t know why he takes so long to agree. 

_You share a bed with Taehyun and Kai when they sleepover,_ he tells himself as he stands up. _There’s nothing to it._

Yeonjun shifts to the far side of the bed to allow Soobin space. 

“Sleep well, Dimples,” Yeonjun says with his back to Soobin.

The comfort of his bed lulls him to sleep fast. Soon enough, he’s bordering the fine line between sleep and consciousness. It doesn’t last long after an annoyed huff and a shift in the bed wake him up.

He blinks a few times before flipping over onto his side to see Yeonjun looking at him apologetically.

“I’m sorry,” Yeonjun whispers. “Did I wake you?”

Soobin shakes his head. 

Yeonjun sighs.

“Is everything okay, Hyung?” Soobin asks quietly.

Yeonjun shrugs his shoulder half heartedly. He hesitates for a moment before reaching out to brush the stray pieces of hair off of Soobin’s forehead. His hand lingers for a second before he retracts it. “Everything gets a bit loud sometimes is all."

Soobin thinks for a long moment. “What’s your favourite ice-cream flavour?”

Yeonjun raises his eyebrows at Soobin but answers nonetheless. “Mint chocolate and hey, don’t pull that face, Dimples. It’s good.”

Soobin scrunches his nose. “Doubt. Mine is Chocolate."

Yeonjun fakes gagging and Soobin rolls his eyes. “Okay favourite food…”

Soobin asks question after question until he sees Yeonjun’s eyes flutter closed and listens as his replies turn into incoherent mumbles. 

Then, all at once, the boy is sleeping.

“Goodnight, Junie,” Soobin whispers before falling asleep, the older’s peaceful face the last thing he sees before he closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're (slowly) getting to see them interact more aha (': tell me if there's anything specific you loved this time round!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> your comments for the last update were so??? AH thank you all so much :( it makes me rly happy that you're all enjoying it!! and even though i don't reply to you all i read every comment and store it in my brain, promise.  
> hope you enjoy chapter 5 <3

**Chapter 5**

“When will you know that you got the job, Hyungie?” 

Beomgyu nudges Yeonjun out of his tired daze as they walk. 

“ _If_ I get the job,” Yeonjun corrects him, shoving his hands into his pockets with a frown. “And Soobin said to meet him now at the bakery after uni ends.” 

Beomgyu waves his hand dismissively. “I told you you’re getting it. Anyway, text me when they tell you okay? We should celebrate after.” 

They reach Yeonjun’s car and Beomgyu climbs into the passenger seat after leaving his books on the backseat. 

Yeonjun only replies once they’re on the road after pulling out of the uni parking lot. 

“Beomgyu-ah I can’t go out celebrating, I’m low on cash. I think they cut mum’s pay recently or something-” 

He’s interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing.

“Can you check who it is for me?” He asks his friend as he indicates left.

Beomgyu’s eyebrows lift when he reads the caller ID. “It’s Soobin Hyung.” 

“Maybe he needs something from the store,” Yeonjun reasons. “Could you answer?”

“Soobin Hyung, hello,” Beomgyu answers as he’s told. “It’s Beomgyu, YJ is driving.”

There’s a long moment of silence as he waits for Soobin to reply. Yeonjun throws a quick glance at Beomgyu’s careful face before returning his attention to the rearview mirror.

“Yeah sure, see you soon,” Is all Beomgyu says before ending the call.

“What was it?” Yeonjun asks as he takes the right turn that’s meant to take them to Beomgyu’s house. 

“He wants me to come with to the bakery.”

Yeonjun frowns. “Why?”

Beomgyu shrugs his shoulders and fixes his hair in the mirror. “Didn’t say.” 

Yeonjun doubts that that’s the case but doesn’t push. He supposes he’ll find out sooner or later. 

“What were you saying about your mum?” Beomgyu reminds him as Yeonjun pulls into a yard and makes a U-turn.

“Oh yeah,” Yeonjun remembers. “She’s been skimming on groceries.”

“Has she said anything?”

Yeonjun purses his lips and gives a curt shake of his head. “No. I haven’t had the chance to talk to her about it, she’s always asleep when I get home and gone in the morning before I wake up.” 

Beomgyu looks out the window but Yeonjun can see the worry on his face.

“Hey BG,” Yeonjun calls, poking Beomgyu’s cheek as he approaches a stop street. “I’ll be okay. I always make a plan, don’t I?”

Beomgyu shakes his head. 

“You shouldn’t _have_ to make a plan,” He mumbles. “These aren’t things you’re supposed to worry about, Hyung. It’s not fair.” 

Yeonjun blinks. 

He often forgets that not every 21-year-old has to worry about making sure that there’s food on the table every day. Not all of them go to bed at three because they’re up calculating every worst case scenario to prevent further disaster either. The thought suddenly makes him uncomfortable. He puts his foot on the accelerator and focuses on the hum of the car instead. By the time they reach the bakery Beomgyu still looks troubled.

“Hey,” Yeonjun calls as Beomgyu opens the door to get out of the car. “Don’t worry about me, okay? Everything will work out fine.” 

Beomgyu gives him a small smile but Yeonjun can tell it’s strained.

Yeonjun sighs and tugs Beomgyu’s beanie down, moving the silver strands of hair out of the younger’s face. “We should dye your hair again, the colour’s fading.” 

When they approach the door of the bakery, the sign on the door is flipped to closed.

Puzzled, Yeonjun checks his watch to see if he somehow messed up his times but it’s well before closing time.

Beomgyu pushes the door open and Yeonjun follows him inside in confusion. 

He finds Soobin’s parents talking to Taehyun while Huening Kai wraps his arms around Soobin’s waist as the taller pats his head and scrolls through his phone.

“Yeonjun-ah!” 

Soobin’s mum is the first one to notice their arrival. She rushes to Yeonjun and he braces himself for a cheek pinch.

“And who is this pretty young boy?” She says as she turns to look at Beomgyu.

“This is Beomgyu-ah, mum,” Soobin tells her, walking to stand beside his mother along with Kai and Taehyun. “He’s Yeonjun Hyung’s best friend.” 

Beomgyu reddens at her comment but bows his head respectfully in greeting.

He yelps as Soobin’s mum engulfs him in a tight hug. He looks at Yeonjun in alarm who smirks before turning his attention to Soobin who smiles awkwardly. He shifts on his feet and Yeonjun is about to ask him what’s wrong but Kai tackles him in a hug. Yeonjun freezes but Kai doesn’t notice as he squeezes the life out of Yeonjun.

“Hyung! Did you have a good day? I haven’t seen you in a while,” He gives Yeonjun an excited smile. 

“We…” Yeonjun struggles for words. He isn’t used to being hugged by anybody other than Beomgyu. “We saw each other when we were discussing the project just last week.” 

Kai laughs and rubs the back of his neck. “You’re right, I think I’m so used to seeing my friends everyday because of Soobin and Taehyun so a few days feel long to me.”

“I don’t know how you’re going to deal with the break coming up,” Taehyun pipes up. “Soobin Hyung isn’t coming with us.”

Yeonjun wants to focus on what they’re saying but all he can think about is Kai referring to him as a friend.

_I think I’m so used to seeing my friends everyday…_

_I worry about all my friends_.

He turns to look at Beomgyu who’s being pestered with questions by both Soobin’s parents.

Friend.

He turns back to Kai and Taehyun who bicker about something and then to Soobin who looks at him in concern.

 _You okay?_ He seems to mouth to Yeonjun.

Friends.

He’s not used to the plural form of the word.

A loud clap catches his attention and everybody turns to Soobin’s mum who seems to be done interrogating Beomgyu. 

He shuffles closer to Yeonjun and holds the older’s sleeve, seemingly overwhelmed by the sudden attack of questions. 

“We’ve decided to close the bakery a little early today!” Soobin’s mum exclaims. “It was BinBin’s-”

“ _Ma_ ,” Soobin hisses.

“-Idea to throw a small tea party in celebration of Yeonjun officially joining _Dough Re Mi_ ,” She continues, regardless of her son’s embarrassment. 

Yeonjun is still too busy processing Soobin’s mother confirming his job that he jumps slightly when Soobin’s dad reappears from the back room and places something in his hands.

He looks down at it in confusion.

It’s an apron

Yeonjun looks back up to see Soobin’s mum beaming at him.

“Put it on Yeonjunnie!” She insists.

Slowly, almost as if in a trance, Yeonjun unfolds the apron and puts it on over his head.

It’s plain white with three cupcakes printed on the pocket and the phrase, _Bakers Gonna Bake_ , stitched just above them. His name is stitched in red cursive on the right side of his chest.

Beomgyu lets go of Yeonjun’s sleeve to help him tie the apron at the back where he can’t reach. 

Soobin’s mum squeals and starts clapping. Everybody else follows her lead, Kai even throws in a whistle.

It’s not even a big deal, he tells himself.

_They’re just being nice._

“Told you you’d get it, Hyungie,” Beomgyu whispers.

When Yeonjun looks at him, he finds the other smiling proudly.

Yeonjun suddenly finds himself trying to swallow a big lump in his throat.

“Why don’t you guys sit down and pick something from the menu?” Soobin’s dad suggests, clapping Yeonjun on the back. “Jiyoo and I will make you hot chocolate in the meantime.”

“Yes yes!” Soobin’s mum ushers them toward a table. “Pick anything you’d like, free of charge this one time.”

Yeonjun’s head shoots up. “Jiyoo-ssi ah that’s not necessary, let me pay- _OW_.”

Soobin’s mum swats his head.

“Ma!” Soobin shouts, a mortified look taking over his soft face.

“It’s called a celebration for a reason, Yeonjunnie,” She assures Yeonjun not unkindly. “Don’t you worry. Now go sit and choose what you’d like.”

With that, she follows Soobin’s dad into the backroom.

Yeonjun looks to Beomgyu. “Did you know about this?”

Beomgyu shakes his head. “Soobin just told me over the phone, Hyung. What do they have here?”

He walks to the table where Kai and Taehyun sit to investigate the menu.

“I’m sorry about that,” Soobin apologizes as he watches Yeonjun rub the spot where his mother smacked him. “She gets overly excited sometimes.”

Yeonjun smiles reassuringly at him. “It’s okay. This is just...”

He trails off, trying to find the right word.

“Stupid?” Soobin jumps, twisting his hands nervously. “Wah I’m sorry Junie I just wanted-”

“It’s not stupid, Dimples,” He rushes to interrupt. “I’m just not… not used to it is all.”

Soobin stares at him. “Not used to…?”

 _People being kind._

“Surprises,” Yeonjun settles on saying with a shrug. “Anyway. Your mum said this was your idea, yeah? I’m really grateful, you didn’t have to.”

Soobin bounces on the balls of his feet. “Just thought it would be nice. Besides, it’s not like I threw you a whole party,” He jokes.

Yeonjun is about to reply but is interrupted by Beomgyu. He didn’t even notice the younger appearing at his side.

“Beomgyu-ah,” Yeonjun startles.

“I don’t know what to pick, Hyung,” Beomgyu mutters, eyes darting between Yeonjun and Soobin. “There are too many things, I don’t know what will be good.”

“Oh,” Yeonjun swallows. “Uh...”

He looks at Soobin who stares at the two and an idea occurs to him.

“Dimples knows the bakery best,” Yeonjun reassures Beomgyu. “Could you show Beomgyu your favourites?”

Soobin’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Uh, yeah. Sure. Come on Beomgyu-ah.”

A strange look passes over Beomgyu’s face before he follows Soobin to the counters with a smile.

Yeonjun shakes the frown off his face before heading over to the table where Taehyun and Kai sit.

“The pink and blue cupcakes really suit you, Hyung,” Kai teases him when he sits down next to the younger.

“I know right?” Yeonjun jokes back. “Very fashionable. My step-mum would probably have a heart attack if she saw me wearing this though.”

Taehyun and Kai laugh.

“She just lacks taste then,” Taehyun says, his eyes on something behind Yeonjun’s shoulder.

“Who lacks taste?” Soobin asks sitting down next to Beomgyu who seats himself next to Yeonjun.

“Yeonjun’s step-mum, apparently,” Taehyun answers a little distractedly. 

“Oh,” Soobin sounds surprised. “Step-mum,” He echoes, looking at Yeonjun.

“Hyung what are you getting?” Beomgyu intervenes quickly. 

He gives his friend a small, thankful smile for the change of topic. “I’m gonna have the chocolate snowballs.”

Soobin perks up. “You liked them?”

“Snowballs?” Beomgyu asks looking between Soobin and Yeonjun in confusion. 

“They’re really tasty Beomgyu-ah,” Soobin assures him. “You can have one of mine to try if you’d like.”

Yeonjun snorts. “That’s if you don’t finish all of them by yourself,”

“Hey!” Soobin shouts, his face full of hurt. “You had a lot too.” 

Kai laughs. “Did Soobin Hyung inhale the stash of snowballs he keeps at home?”

Soobin lets out an undignified noise and shoots daggers at Yeonjun.

“Oh come on, Dimples,” Yeonjun rolls his eyes, “The tupperware was full before we started the research and practically empty when we were done.”

“When was this?” Beomgyu asks lightly. 

“When Yeonjun Hyung came over after our shift to do some work for the project,” Soobin rushes, in a hurry to defend himself.

“Right,” Beomgyu nods his head and looks down.

“Hyung,” Soobin complains looking at Yeonjun like a wounded bunny.

“Okay, okay,” Yeonjun raises his hands to his chest with a laugh. “We both had a fair amount.”

“Next thing I know you’re gonna start telling people I drool when I sleep,” He mutters with a pout. “You’re a trai-”

“How would he know that?” Beomgyu interjects.

Soobin blinks in confusion. “Huh?”

It’s at this moment that Yeonjun remembers that he failed to mention to Beomgyu that he stayed over at Soobin’s house. 

Looking at Beomgyu’s face now, he knows that it was a mistake. 

Yeonjun sits up and cuts off Soobin. “We just-”

“Here are your drinks boys,” Soobin’s dad interrupts. He and Soobin’s mum place the steaming mugs of hot chocolate on the table.

“And what would you guys like with your drinks? Everybody made up their mind, hm?” Soobin’s mum asks them all.

“Can you please bring a plate of snowballs for us Ma? Yeonjun Hyung and I will probably share that,” Soobin turns to Beomgyu whose eyes are on Yeonjun. “Beomgyu?” 

It’s not like Yeonjun had done anything wrong.

But the sad look in Beomgyu’s eyes is enough to make him feel like he just kicked a puppy.

Beomgyu drags his eyes away and looks down at the table when he speaks. “I don’t have much of an appetite, I’ll just stick to my hot chocolate.”

Soobin frowns. “Are you sure Beomgyu-ah? I thought you said you decided on the vanilla cake.”

Beomgyu shrugs and looks away.

Soobin’s mum opens her mouth, no doubt to insist that he has something but she’s silenced by Soobin’s dad who turns to Kai and Taehyun for their orders.

“I’ll… have a slice of the Vanilla Dream cake,” Taehyun says after Kai orders a cinnamon roll.

Soobin shoots him a curious look but remains silent.

Kai on the other hand pipes up. “Hyung you’ve always ordered the-”

He yelps and jumps up as if being hit by something but Taehyun smiles at him sweetly, still as ever.

“I think that’s all Jiyoo-ssi and Eunwoo-ssi, thank you,” Taehyun thanks them with a bow of his head.

Once they leave, Kai shoots Taehyun a hurtful look and scoots closer to Yeonjun. Soobin seems to be trying hard not to laugh.

Yeonjun is sure he missed something but he’s too distracted by Beomgyu to even try and figure it out. He wants to say something to make the look on Beomgyu’s face go away but he won’t be able to without everybody else hearing.

He runs a distressed hand through his hair.

Soon enough, Soobin’s parents arrive with their treats and they pause their chatting to make space on the table for it.

“Beomgyu-ah, do you mind swapping seats with me?” Soobin asks rather sheepishly. “I just don’t want to reach over and annoy you since Yeonjun Hyung and I are sharing.”

“Oh,” Beomgyu says softly.

Before Yeonjun can protest, Beomgyu stands up and trades places with Soobin.

He somehow looks even more deflated than before.

_Oh my god._

He looks at Beomgyu in a panic, trying to catch the other’s eyes but they remain stubbornly on his empty plate.

Yeonjun’s only vaguely aware of Soobin talking to him. 

He’s about to take a snowball and dump it in Beomgyu’s plate to get the other’s attention but a swift movement across the table catches his eye.

Beomgyu looks down at the piece of cake that Taehyun placed on his plate in surprise. Taehyun doesn’t seem to acknowledge it but instead continues talking to Kai as if nothing happened.

Beomgyu’s eyes widen and he looks at Taehyun who briefly pauses his conversation with Kai to wink at Beomgyu.

Beomgyu’s mouth twitches before a small smile breaks out on his face and he digs into the slice.

“...thought we could do it together,” Soobin finishes off. 

Yeonjun drags his eyes away from Beomgyu and finally looks at Soobin. “Huh?”

Soobin’s face turns a shade of red and begins shaking his head vigorously. “Nothing. Nevermind.”

He takes a snowball and shoves it into his mouth before chipping into Kai and Taehyun’s conversation. 

Yeonjun sighs. 

He opts to stay out of the conversation for the rest of the hang out for his own sake. It’s not difficult considering Beomgyu and Taehyun strike up an ongoing conversation and Soobin seems content with speaking to Huening Kai.

However, when they bid the three friends goodbye and hop into Yeonjun’s car, it’s harder to ignore the unnatural silence between the two.

Yeonjun places his focus on driving and reassures himself that they’ll talk once they reach Beomgyu’s house. 

Except when they’re in Beomgyu’s room, the younger insists that nothing is wrong.

“...But you seemed upset earlier, BG,” Yeonjun presses.

Beomgyu flops onto his bed with an exasperated sigh. “Why would I be upset?”

“Oh come on Beomgyu. You didn’t talk to me at all,” Yeonjun folds his arms across his chest and regards his friend a few feet away.

“I was talking to Taehyun,” Beomgyu replies, closing his eyes. “I can talk to other people you know.”

Yeonjun pauses. 

It’s not like Beomgyu said anything wrong but something about the phrasing has Yeonjun wanting to erase the last few minutes of the conversation.

Did he just assume something was wrong because Beomgyu’s attention wasn’t on him?

Yeonjun had gotten so used to it being just the two of them maybe he’d misread the situation. 

“Oh. Okay,” He swings his car keys suddenly unsure of himself. “I’m gonna head home then.” 

Beomgyu stays where he is until Yeonjun reaches the door.

“WAIT,” He springs up from the bed and grabs Yeonjun’s shoulder, turning the older around. His face finally void of the forced cheer. “I lied okay? I was upset.”

Yeonjun lets out a sigh of relief. “Why Beomgyu-ah?”

Beomgyu pulls at his hair in frustration and looks away. “I don’t know Hyung, it’s stupid.” 

“And why is that?” Yeonjun questions, using his two fingers to turn Beomgyu’s face towards him. 

Beomgyu looks everywhere besides at Yeonjun. “Because it’s not like...”

“It’s not like…?” Yeonjun prompts gently.

He sighs and finally looks at Yeonjun, a look of hurt in his eyes. “It’s not like we’re dating. I don’t get to feel upset that you stayed over.” 

Yeonjun looks at him for a long moment before grabbing his nose and squeezing it.

He yells and wriggles out of Yeonjun’s grip. “Aish Hyung! What was that for?”

He rubs his nose ruefully and shoots Yeonjun a hurt look.

“Beomgyu you _do_ have the right to feel upset, you brat,” Yeonjun chides. “They’re your feelings. You have the right to feel things. Aish, sometimes you say the dumbest things unprovoked.”

Beomgyu yanks his beanie off and throws it at Yeonjun’s face. 

“But seriously Beommie,” He says after picking the beanie up and going to sit next to the younger on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry I upset you.”

Beomgyu puts his head in his hands. “You guys just seem close now.”

We do?

Yeonjun shakes his head.

_Not the point._

“I guess I just feel comfortable with him after working at the bakery with him this past week,” Yeonjun reasons with a shrug.

“Why didn’t you mention that you stayed over?” He mumbles.

“It slipped my mind, I’m sorry. I have a lot going on in my head right now.” 

Beomgyu is silent for a long moment.

Then, he lifts his head up and groans. “Ugh. Feelings are so stupid. What purpose do they serve?”

Yeonjun smiles and tugs Beomgyu closer so that the younger rests on his lap. 

“Feelings are a mess,” Yeonjun admits, ruffling Beomgyu’s hair. “But he’s just a friend, Beommie. There’s nothing going on between us. I’d never do that to you.”

Yeonjun pauses.

“You’re the most important person in my life, Beommie. If you like Soobin and he makes you happy then that’s all that matters to me. I’ll take a step back if anything is making you feel uncomfortable.” 

“You don’t have to do that, Hyung,” He mumbles. “I trust you.”

“I know you trust me,” Yeonjun whispers. He thinks back to Soobin’s eyes on him in the bakery.

_You have pretty eyes._

“But,” Yeonjun says with a swallow, “If it’s something that’ll make you happy and more comfortable, I’ll do it.” 

Beomgyu looks up at him, his nose still slightly red from a few moments ago. “You’re so stupid Hyung.”

“I mean I know it’s true but you don’t have to keep saying it,” He scoffs.

The two of them laugh and they sit like that for a while. Beomgyu humming with his eyes closed and Yeonjun carding through his hair. 

“Hey Hyung?” Beomgyu pipes up eventually.

“Hmm?” 

Yeonjun looks down into his friend’s wide eyes. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

Yeonjun raises an eyebrow at him. “What is it?”

Beomgyu sits up excitedly. “You don’t have to but I just thought it would be nice if...”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“Ouch!” Yeonjun yelps.

Seri looks up at him apologetically. “I’m sorry, Yeonjun-ah,”

She removes the pin from the material and places it back on more carefully. Yeonjun tries his best to stay still as Seri circles him and continues to measure him, placing material after material against his face to see what matches his skin tone best.

All the while, Renjun grabs the loose fabric laying on the floor in his mother’s study and attempts to make a fort out of them all.

“You can sit down now, Yeonjun-ah,” She tells him, moving to sit at her desk to jot some things down in her journal.

The minute Yeonjun sits down on the plush sofa, Rejun abandons his fort and rushes to sit on his lap.

Yeonjun grimaces but shifts so that the boy sits comfortably. 

He watches Seri scribble away. Every now and then, she looks up and observes Yeonjun in thought before muttering and scratching something out in the journal.

Yeonjun hesitates before clearing his throat. “Sae-eomma?”

“Mhm?” She answers, eyes still glued to her journal. 

Renjun grabs hold of Yeonjun’s thumbs and shakes them like a rattle.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to bother but I just… I need an outfit,” Yeonjun says cautiously.

At that, Seri looks up.

Yeonjun braces himself for his step mother to shoot him down and tell him that she’s given him enough clothes. Instead, all she asks is, “What kind of outfit?”

She even sounds a little excited.

Yeonjun blinks. “Oh. Uh, something casual but still cool? I don’t wanna stand out but I don’t have a lot of clothes fit for a… party.”

He mumbles the last part but Seri’s eyes widen in excitement. “A party?”

Yeonjun sighs and nods his head, unwrapping Renjun’s hands from his neck so that he can cradle him.

“Beomgyu wants me to go with him to this end of the semester party,” He explains to her.

She raises her eyebrows in amusement. “You don’t sound too enthusiastic about going.”

Yeonjun thinks back to the last party he went to. A blur of tears, yelling, too much alcohol and Mina. The night everything went to shit. “Haven’t had great experiences with them,” He settles on saying.

Her eyes soften. “Then why go?”

“Beomgyu asked me to.” 

“I see,” She taps her pen to her head in thought.

Renjun giggles as Yeonjun tickles his tummy. He throws his head back in uncontrollable laughter and tries to escape from Yeonjun’s grip.

“When do you need it by?” Seri questions.

“Next week Wednesday when campus closes,” He informs her, letting Renjun break free.

She watches fondly as the little boy runs to hide behind her chair. 

“I’ll send something to you before then,” She promises with a smile.

Sometimes she reminds Yeonjun so much of his mother. Aside from her looks, there’s a gentleness about Seri that his mother once had. 

“Thank you, Sae-eomma,” He gives her a genuine bow before standing up. “Am I done?”

She nods her head and pulls Renjun onto her lap where she sits behind her desk. 

He greets the two goodbye before making his way to the door.

“Oh!” She exclaims when his hand is on the handle. “Sorry Yeonjun-ah but I forgot to tell you. You can bring Beomgyu to your dad’s birthday if you’d like.”

Yeonjun whirls around in surprise. He knows she said that she’d speak to his dad but he didn’t think anything would come out of it.

“Really?” He asks, a little bewildered. 

She nods her head, combing through Renjun’s hair. “I spoke to your dad about it, it’s all good.”

Yeonjun wants to ask how she managed that but decides that whatever she did, her efforts were enough and that’s what matters.

After one last thank you and a bow, he heads home.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

If Soobin had a dollar for every time he felt inexplicably sad he’d probably make it into the top ten of Forbes Billionaires List by now.

The mood only lasts an hour or a day if he’s lucky. When it’s done, he can go back to his normal life and pretend as if nothing happened.

Other days though, much like now, the mood lasts longer.

Weeks, really.

Sometimes it’s triggered by something small- his friends texting him in a different tone, somebody raising their voice at him on a bad day. But most of the time, and this is what frustrates Soobin the most, there is no trigger.

One moment, he’s perfectly okay and the next he’d rather be a piece of algae eaten by a large whale somewhere in the depths of the pacific ocean.

On days like these, Soobin likes to play dead.

Maybe the bad mood will lose interest and leave him alone. 

He usually just locks himself up in his room and watches clips of old Disney cartoons from the 30’s. There’s just something about the way that the cartoons move that Soobin finds charming. He watches them on loop and tries to draw some of the frames.

Normally on a Saturday he’d be working at the bakery. His mother must have noticed his mood these past few days because she told him she’d pick his shift up for him. 

So there he was, cooped up in his room on Saturday evening having barely gotten out of bed except to occasionally use the bathroom. He honestly hadn’t even realized so much time had passed until he hears a knock on his door.

His mother waits for his halfhearted mumble before walking into his room. 

She frowns at the open blinds and windows that were meant to be closed an hour or two ago. 

“Huening Kai is trying to get hold of you,” She tells Soobin, walking over to shut the blinds. 

Soobin glances at his phone that sits far away on his desk. He had heard it buzzing earlier but never bothered to get up and check who it was. 

“He sounded distressed, BinBin,” His mum says as she walks and stands at his bedside. She crouches down and pats his head softly. “Have you eaten?”

Soobin shakes his head.

He hasn’t had much of an appetite.

His mother sighs and brushes the hair off of his forehead. “I won’t force you but you should really eat something BinBin. Try and give Huening Kai a call back when you’re ready, okay? He sounded worried about something.” 

She places a kiss on his forehead before leaving him to himself.

Soobin stares at his phone across his room, the sound of the cartoons coming from his laptop the only noise in the background. 

Eventually, he grunts and drags himself out of bed to pick up his phone and dial Huening Kai.

He picks up on the first ring.

“Hyung! Are you okay? You haven’t said anything all day,” Kai stresses over the phone.

“I’m fine, NingNing. Just one of those days,” Soobin assures him tiredly. “What about you? Mum said you were trying to get a hold of me.”

Soobin hears a click of a door and Kai talks quietly. “You can talk to me, Hyung. You know that right?” 

Soobin smiles at the concern in his friend’s voice. “I know,” He whispers. “Now tell me what’s wrong.” 

Kai sighs. “Taehyun told me he was coming over after he finished his work with Beomgyu Hyung. Then he got here and he’s just been… off.” 

“Off how?”

“He hasn’t hit me a single time,” Kai says, stress laced in his voice.

“I mean that is strange,” Soobin admits with a frown. “But maybe he’s just tired from working with Beomgyu-ah.”

“Oh yeah,” Kai remembers. “Well I also asked how it went with Beomgyu Hyung and he started to cry. He said he wasn’t but I saw the tears.”

“Aish Kai! Why didn’t you start with that?” Soobin asks in disbelief. “Nevermind. I’m coming over. I’ll see you in fifteen.” 

Soobin puts the phone down and runs a tired hand through his hair. He’s in no mood to leave his house but if Taehyun needs him, he’s willing to make an exception. 

He looks around his room. 

It’s rather a mess. Scraps of drawings lay scattered on his bed and floor and piles of his clothes sit messily on the chair at his desk.

Future Soobin’s problem, he tells himself as he moves to his closet to pull out a sleeping bag.

After packing everything he needs for a night over, he leaves his room and pops into his parent’s room to say goodbye. 

Both of them look surprised that he’s leaving but bid him goodbye and tell him to text them once he arrives.

Soobin’s managed to avoid looking in the mirror so far but when he jumps into his car, he nearly flinches seeing his appearance in the rear view mirror.

Anybody that looks at him could tell that he hasn’t gotten any sleep by looking at the bags under his eyes. The unbrushed hair and the overall tired face isn’t a good look for him.

Not that there was much going on for him to begin with.

He rubs his eyes and starts the engine, pulling out of the yard and taking the familiar road to Huening Kai’s house. 

As he drives his mind drifts to the bakery and Yeonjun. He hopes that the older did well enough without Soobin’s help. 

To be fair Soobin really did try to get up this morning. His alarm had woken him up and he stared at it, assuring himself that eventually he’d get up to turn it off.

More time must have passed than he realized because his mother suddenly appeared in front of him. She must’ve been the one to turn the alarm off because it was silent when she tucked him back in and told him to go to sleep.

Maybe it’s a good thing he hadn’t gone in. It might have just been in Soobin’s head (as most things are) but he felt different around Yeonjun ever since the older had stayed over.

That’s not to say that Yeonjun himself had started acting weirdly- Soobin just felt strange.

He thinks back to how distracted the older looked when they were at the bakery celebrating his job. He seemed so focused on Taehyun and Beomgyu he had barely paid Soobin any attention.

It had gotten Soobin thinking that maybe Yeonjun likes Taehyun.

He’s terrible at picking up hints so it’s very likely he missed something. 

He remembered the thought came to him just as he was asking Yeonjun to study for their upcoming Criminology test together. After he’d noticed the older staring at his friend he quickly scrapped the idea.

Soobin doesn’t even know why he did it. He just felt silly all of a sudden.

Kai’s sister greets him at the door.

Soobin is always struck by the stark resemblance of the two. He thinks Lea is what Kai would probably look like with a wig on.

The only difference comes in their personalities.

“Is Hyuka running a hostel for sad gays?” She questions when she gets a good look at Soobin.

Soobin winces.

_Is it that obvious?_

“Hello to you too, Lea,” He greets lightly.

She rolls her eyes. “Yes hello baker boy.”

She swings the door open and lets Soobin in. 

“They’re in Hyuka’s room,” She informs Soobin, her back already to him as she walks away. 

Soobin thanks her and makes his way to Huening Kai’s room.

He opens the door to find Taehyun sprawled dramatically across Kai’s bed. Kai watches him from his bay window in worry. 

“Hyung!” Kai springs up and runs to engulf Soobin in a bear hug.

Soobin can’t help but smile as he wraps his arms around Kai. Something about the younger always comforts Soobin.

His energy feels like a light Soobin can always count on to brighten his dark mood. 

With one arm around slung around Kai’s shoulders, he turns to look at Taehyun who remains still at the arrival of Soobin.

“He’s been like that since he got here,” Kai mutters to Soobin. 

“Taehyun?” Soobin calls out. 

“The next time I have a crush on somebody,” Taehyun’s muffled voice answers. “Punch me in the dick.”

Kai’s hand flies to his mouth to keep from laughing.

Soobin sighs.

He dumps his bag on the floor and slips his shoes off.

“Scoot,” He orders Taehyun as he stands beside the bed.

When Taehyun doesn’t move, Soobin rolls his eyes and shoves Taehyun to the middle of the bed.

Aside from a surprised yelp, Taehyun doesn’t protest as Soobin climbs onto the bed and lays beside him, wrapping an arm over Taehyun to pull him closer.

Kai does the same, laying on the left of Taehyun so that the smaller is sandwiched between him and Soobin. Kai throws his arm over Taehyun’s waist so that they form a small cocoon.

“It’s okay to have feelings you know,” Soobin tells his friend.

“No it’s not,” Taehyun mumbles back. “What do you gain out of it? Absolutely nothing.” 

“The less vulnerable you are with your feelings, the less heartbreak you’re likely to go through,” Kai reasons in thought.

“Exactly!” Taehyun exclaims, popping his head out to look at Kai. “You’re smart, have I told you that?”

“But being less vulnerable with your feelings also means you’re going to experience a lot less love,” Kai continues as if he didn’t hear Taehyun. 

“I’d hit you if I had the energy,” Taehyun mutters. 

Kai squeezes him tighter in response.

“What’s wrong Taehyun-ah?” Soobin asks.

“Beomgyu Hyung doesn’t like me back,” He whispers.

“Do you know this or are you assuming?"

“I know, Hyung,” 

“But how-”

“Hyung,” Kai interrupts, locking eyes with Soobin over Taehyun and giving him a curt shake of his head.

Soobin purses his lips and remains silent. 

“He’s too short for you anyways, Hyung,” Kai reassures Taehyun.

Taehyun cranes his head up to look at Kai in disbelief. “I’m shorter than him Kai.”

“Exactly! Two short people can’t be in a relationship. You’ll just look like two hobbits together.” 

Kai screams and swats Taehyun’s head as the older tries to bite him. 

“This is dumb,” Taehyun announces after the two of them settle down again. “I didn’t even date him.” 

“You’ve liked him for a while,” Soobin points out.

“Still,” Taehyun insists. “I didn’t date him. It shouldn’t be hurting this badly. I feel dumb.”

“Heartbreak doesn’t discriminate,” Soobin chides. “Your feelings don’t care about labels. Whether or not you were dating isn’t a concern for it- all it knows is that you’re hurting.”

“Kinda cheesy don’t you think, Hyung?” Kai voices.

Soobin reaches over Taehyun to smack him.

“I just mean you shouldn’t put so much pressure on yourself to not feel sad, Taehyun-ah,” Soobin rephrases.

“It just… feels weird,” Taehyun sniffs. “How did you get over Jaeyong after your break up?”

Soobin stills.

“Break up would imply we were dating,” Soobin mutters dryly. 

“Weren’t you?” Taehyun questions in confusion.

 _Not to him, no_.

“I just… dealt with it,” Soobin opts to answer his first question instead. “It takes a lot of time.”

Taehyun groans. “I hate it here.”

Soobin can’t help but laugh. 

“Is this what I’m going to have to go through when I get my heartbroken?” Kai asks nobody in particular. 

“I’d kill somebody before I let that happen,” Taehyun answers. “Anybody who breaks your heart doesn’t deserve to walk Earth anymore.”

“Aw Hyung,” Kai coos snuggling closer to Taehyun. “Look who cares about me.” 

He yells when Taehyun pinches his arm. “OUCH! Why do you always have to hit me or something Hyung?”

“Because you’re ANNOYING,” Taehyun declares. 

The two continue with their bickering and Soobin merely closes his eyes and listens to the familiar sound of it. 

And even though he came here with intentions of cheering Taehyun up, he finds himself feeling lighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahaaa so mini spoiler: we have a party scene in the next chapter and somebody gets drunk. it was one of my favourite scenes to write when i was busy with the fic.  
> do you guys have a pov you prefer? i can never decide, i love both yeonjun and soobin.  
> hope you enjoyed, see ya'll on monday <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope your monday is going well, enjoy <3

**Chapter 6**

“Should we run through it one more time?” Taehyun asks Beomgyu.

“If you’d like,” Beomgyu replies with a shrug. “What did you guys think?” 

He turns to Yeonjun and Soobin for their opinion.

“Seemed good to me but one more run won’t hurt,” Yeonjun suggests. 

Beomgyu nods and looks to Huening Kai. “Can you run it from the beginning?”

Kai nods and scrolls to the beginning of the slides, waiting for his cue to change them each time as he carefully watches Beomgyu and Taehyun present.

“Are you okay?” Yeonjun half whispers.

Soobin peels his eyes away from Taehyun and Beomgyu to look at Yeonjun.

His eyes are glued to Beomgyu and Taehyun and if Soobin wasn’t sitting right next to him, he would’ve doubted the boy was speaking to him. 

“I’m fine,” Soobin replies, fiddling with his fingers. 

“Your mum mentioned you being sick on Saturday,” He notes. “You also weren’t in class the past few days.” 

Soobin didn’t think the older had noticed. 

“Erm,” Soobin struggles. “I just wasn’t feeling well I guess.” 

Yeonjun finally turns to look at Soobin, his eyes filled with concern. “You feeling any better now?”

Soobin touches his ears. “Uh yeah, I’m getting there I think.” 

Yeonjun nods his head with a small smile before turning back to Beomgyu and Taehyun.

Soobin finds himself thinking about this tiny moment on Wednesday when he’s with Kai and Taehyun in Kai’s room.

“What about you, Hyung?” He hears Kai’s voice call to him.

Soobin turns his attention from looking out the window to his friend.

“What was that?” He asks.

“Thinking about somebody special, Hyung?” Kai teases.

“What did you say, you brat?” Soobin ignores him.

Kai sticks his tongue out at him. “Taehyun Hyung and I were just talking about exams. Wanted to know how it went for you.” 

Soobin waves his hand in a so-and-so gesture. “Nothing particularly difficult or particularly easy. Just a matter of how well I passed at this point, I guess.”

“Well thank God the semester’s over,” Kai sighs in relief, spinning around freely on his desk chair.

“I don’t know if I did well enough on my English Lit exam,” Taehyun worries. He chews on his lip where he lays on Kai’s bed.

Soobin gives him a reassuring smile. “I’m sure you did great Taehyun-ah. You’re the smartest of the three of us.” 

“That’s not saying much,” Taehyun counters.

Kai let’s out an indignant huff and Soobin scowls. “Aish! Forget I said anything.”

Taehyun laughs and throws a pillow at Soobin.

“At least the presentation went well,” Kai reasons.

“Yeah Taehyun-ah, you and Beomgyu did really well,” Soobin agrees with a nod.

Taehyun scratches his head. “Thanks, I guess. Was kinda hard to work with him after… you know.” 

Kai looks at Taehyun sadly. “I’m sorry, Hyung. But at least you don’t have to see him as much anymore.” 

“I don’t know if that makes me happier or sadder,” Taehyun says with a frown. 

“Well you did great,” Soobin tells him.

The presentation had gone so smoothly Soobin really did think his friend deserved a pat on the back for it. He doesn’t think that he could’ve done as well if he even had to be in the same room as Jaeyong.

“Yeah!” Kai agrees, getting up from his place to sit next to Taehyun. “It didn’t even look like you were crying over him for two days straight before.” 

Taehyun throws an arm over his neck and yanks Kai down to ruffle his head. The three of them spend the rest of the day playing video games and watching movies. Just after sunset, when they’re arguing about which movie to watch next, Lea walks into the room. 

“This is the saddest sight I’ve ever seen,” She announces, amusement clear on her pretty face. 

“Are you going somewhere Noona?” Kai questions, looking his sister up and down.

She’s dressed up in a short black dress and dramatic eyeliner decorates her eyes. Her heels make her almost the same height as Taehyun.

“Yes,” She says, waltzing into the room and standing in front of them. “I’m going to the end of semester _party_ like everybody else is.” 

Soobin often forgets that he and Kai’s sister are the same age. She always seemed older. 

“That sounds fun,” Kai pouts. “We didn’t get invited.” 

“It’s an open invitation, dummy. You just have to know somebody and lucky for you,” She leans down to flick Kai’s ear, “You happen to have a very cool sister.” 

Kai’s face brightens up and he opens his mouth but Taehyun puts a hand on his shoulder, eyes darting to Soobin. “Kai.”

Lea rolls her eyes. “I’m only leaving in an hour so if you guys wanna come I’ll be in my room. There’ll be lots of cute guys…” She trails off, pointedly looking at Taehyun and Soobin before leaving.

“Why did she look at me?” Soobin mumbles.

“We’re not going,” Taehyun looks at Kai clearly. 

“Okay, okay. I heard you the first time,” He picks up the TV remote, “What movie should we watch next? I’m voting for Up again.”

“NO, I’m _not_ in the mood for your crying tonight,” Taehyun grabs the remote from him.

Soobin feels a pang of guilt.

He knows that if he wasn’t here, Kai and Taehyun probably would have gone to the party. They’re only choosing to not go because of Soobin. He can count on his hand the amount of parties he’s attended. It’s not even that he’s had bad experiences with them. He just feels too… out of place. 

He knows that nobody at the party cares about him but it sometimes feels like he can’t move without feeling like everybody is watching and waiting for him to embarrass himself.

“Let’s go,” Soobin blurts out.

Taehyun and Kai are so focused on the movie that they don’t hear him at first.

He grabs the remote and presses pause. 

“Hyung!” Kai whines. “If you didn’t want to watch Ratatouille you could’ve just said so.”

“Let’s go to the party,” Soobin repeats.

Taehyun and Kai stare at him. 

“Why all of a sudden Hyung?” Taehyun questions.

“Well it _is_ the end of the semester,” Soobin tells them. “And we always skip these things because of me. We should at least go to one.”

Taehyun quiets Kai who already starts to bounce at Soobin’s words. “Hyung you don’t have to force yourself to go to a party because of us. We enjoy hanging out with you alone just as much.”

Soobin smiles at Taehyun and places a hand on his shoulder. “I know Taehyun-ah. I just want to try… something different.”

Taehyun remains quiet as he searches Soobin’s face, probably for a lie.

After a long moment, he smiles. “I mean, why not?

Kai tackles the two of them in a hug and then jumps up from the bed in excitement. “Let me go tell Lea Noona!”

Turns out that Lea was just as excited for them to go with her because she announces that she’ll help them get ready.

All that consisted of was her yelling at them to change multiple times.

“You’re not going to the gym, Soobin!” She scolds. “Lose the hoodie and the sweatpants.”

Soobin grumbles but changes reluctantly. It takes him at least three changes before Lea is happy. He ends up wearing a plain black t-shirt tucked into dark blue jeans with his black leather jacket and combat boots.

Lea takes it upon herself to go one step further with playing dollhouse on them by picking out accessories for them and adding small bits of makeup to their faces. 

Huening Kai gets little iridescent sequin hearts on his cheekbones and she smudges dark red eyeshadow on the corners of Taehyun’s eyes.

When it’s Soobin’s turn, she holds out a paintbrush and pats the space in front of her on the bed. 

He doesn’t even notice that his leg is bouncing until she stills it with a manicured hand.

“Nervous?” She murmurs as she leans closer in concentration to paint the bridge of Soobin’s nose with something.

He shrugs his shoulders. “I guess,”

She pauses for a second to pull a flask out of her clutch bag and offers it to Soobin.

“Liquid courage,” She says to Soobin who looks down at the flask in confusion. “Sometimes I overthink things just before I go out. I take a swig to get rid of the nerves.”

Soobin waits patiently for Lea to finish her job to take a swig from the flask. He doesn’t usually drink. It’s not that he has anything against it, he just finds that he has the tendency to spill more of his guts than he’d like to.

This time he doesn’t mind as much. It’s been ages since he last drank and besides, he needs the overconfidence that comes with alcohol.

Soobin doesn’t know his alcohol well enough to know which drink just burnt his throat but he allows the drink to warm him up. He takes a quick glance in the mirror to find that Lea painted a tiny, but very realistic looking, scar on the bridge of his nose. The scar and the earrings really make him look like more of an intimidating biker instead of his plain, awkward self.

Lea ubers them to the party.

Soobin’s tolerance must have increased since he last drank because he feels nothing but nerves as they get closer to the house. He asks to take a sip from Lea’s flask more than once and Taehyun and Kai look at him with a mixture of worry and amusement.

When they pull up to the rather fancy looking house, Lea passes him the flask one more time.

“Hyung,” Taehyun puts a hand on Soobin’s shoulder. “We can still leave you know.”

Soobin merely takes another swig from Lea’s flask before hopping out the car.

The four of them stare up at the big house as they stand side by side. It’s not a mansion but it’s definitely bigger than Soobin’s modest two story house. Even outside Soobin can hear the loud bass of the speakers pulsing from somewhere in the house and can smell the weed from a few partygoers lounging on the lawn outside.

“Let’s go, losers,” Lea pulls Kai who in turn grabs Taehyun and Soobin and drags them with him. 

His head feels heavy.

The door is already open when they get there so Lea pushes past the few students blocking the doorway to get inside. Some of their eyes trail after her.

“Okay,” She says once they’re safely inside. The music is loud and the chatter around them causes her to raise her voice. “I’m going to find-”

“LEA!” A girl’s voice yells over the crowd.

Lea swivels around to find a short girl with shoulder length blonde hair run towards her.

“YERI!” Lea exclaims and throws her arms around her and hugs her back equally as tight.

“You look amazing, oh my God,” Yeri looks at Lea up and down.

Lea flicks her hair back and giggles. “Please, look who’s talking.”

Yeri responds by giving a little curtsey and almost spills her drink. Judging her flushed cheeks and the little stumble, she’s had more than a few drinks already.

“Oh and who is this?” Yeri raises her eyebrows at Soobin, a menacing smile on her red lips.

Soobin has to resist the urge to take a step back. Sensing his embarrassment, Taehyun hooks an arm through his.

Lea punches Yeri lightly. “Stop looking at him like he’s a piece of meat, you don’t even like men.”

Yeri pouts. “Doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a good looking man when I see one.”

Soobin chokes.

“Yeah, yeah,” Lea rolls her eyes. “This tall cutie is Soobin and the shorter one is Taehyun. My stupid little brother’s best friends.”

“Hey!” Kai shouts with a frown.

“Ah,” Yeri nods her head in understanding. “Well-”

“Yeri Noona!” 

A boy breaks through the crowd and jogs to stand beside Yeri.

There’s nothing particularly outstanding about his outfit- just a plain white t-shirt and a denim jacket -but Soobin feels a temporary spike of jealousy. He always wished to be one of those people that looked good in anything.

He feels like he has to make a constant effort if he wants to look good and he hates attention for the most part but sometimes he gets envious of all the eyes that Taehyun draws to him.

“Have you seen Mark?” The boy asks Yeri with a sigh. 

The silver glitter under his eyes stands out on his slightly tanned skin.

“Wasn’t he with YangYang?” She wonders, tapping her chin. Then, she suddenly remembers that she’s not alone and jumps. “How rude of me!”

She gestures to the boy on her left. “This is Haechan. Him and his boyfriend are best friends with the host,” She then waves her red cup at Soobin and his friends. “Haechan this is Soobin, Taehyun and Huening Kai. You’ve met Lea before,” Yeri continues.

Haechan gives them a quick smile and throws a peace sign up in response to their waves. Soobin can feel Taehyun staring so he gives the younger one a nudge.

“Nice to meet you,” He greets politely. “Sorry to interrupt. Did you say Mark was with YangYang?”

Yeri shrugs. “Last I checked.”

Haechan runs a hand through his pushed back hair. “I’ll find him later then,” He looks to Soobin, Taehyun and Kai. “I haven’t seen you guys around before.”

Soobin shoves his hands into his pockets nervously. “I’m not one for going out most of the time,”

“My boyfriend’s the same,” Haechan says with an understanding smile. “Want me to show you guys where the drinks are?”

Yeri squeals and pats Haechan’s head. “What a great idea! I’m going to steal Lea away then.”

She grabs Lea’s arm and disappears into the crowd.

“Come on,” He says and leads the boys through the throbbing mass of bodies.

Soobin tries his best to put one foot in front of the other but it’s become incredibly difficult all of a sudden. He bumps into the people surrounding him like a giant pinball.

“Thank you Heachan-ssi,” Kai says as politely as possible as he shouts. 

Haechan waves his hand dismissively. “Hyung is fine, unless you’re older of course.”

They step through a door that leads them into a significantly less crowded kitchen.

“And no need to thank me,” He assures them. “Mark and I practically host these parties for Jaemin at this point.”

He opens a cabinet and pulls out a fresh stack of shot glasses and offers one to each of them. Soobin sniffs the cranberry vodka Haechan pours for them and wrinkles his nose in disgust.

Haechan chuckles. “I think if alcohol tasted and smelled better than it did more people would be alcoholics,” He downs his shot and throws them a wink. “I need to check on somebody but have fun okay? If you need anything try and find me.”

He leaves them standing at the counter near the fridge. 

“I’m just going to assume every guy I like is taken at this point,” Taehyun mutters, glaring after Haechan.

Kai pats his tummy. “Maybe you should just stay single Hyung. You’re too good for most people anyway.”

Taehyun reaches up to pinch his cheek. “I think you’re onto something there angel.” 

Kai giggles.

“So,” Taehyun says, glancing down at his shot glass and then at the three of them. “To the end of the semester?”

Kai and Soobin nod. “To the end of the semester.” 

They clink their little glasses and down their shots at the same time.

Soobin can see why people drink.

He feels great.

He doesn’t remember how he got there, but he finds himself at some other part of the house dancing among a bunch of strangers. Taehyun and Kai are nowhere to be seen.

Under normal circumstances, he probably would’ve panicked.

Instead, he giggles.

He doesn’t know what’s so funny but he continues to laugh himself silly. He even bumps into a few people and befriends them on the dance floor.

None of their names stick with him but what’s important is that they all like to dance.

He’s so into the song that when somebody pushes to get past him, his legs give out and he falls to the floor. With his eyes closed, he hums the song contentedly, the stomping feet around him not bothering him in the least bit. 

A voice shouts above him.

“Dimples?” 

Is this person asking him if he has dimples? What a weird way to approach somebody at a party. 

“Yes, I do have dimples,” He tells them, eyes still closed.

There’s a pause from the other person. “Let me help you up. Give me your hand.”

“Usually people get to know each other before they hold hands,” He says but offers his hand up blindly nonetheless.

A warm hand grabs his and lifts him up with ease.

Soobin greatly underestimates the stranger’s strength and nearly falls forward before they catch him.

He rests his head on the stranger’s shoulder and squeezes his eyes shut, trying to make the world stop spinning for a moment so he can thank the person.

“You smell like mint,” Soobin mumbles into the stranger’s shoulder. “Reminds me of somebody I know.”

The stranger’s body shakes with laughter and it’s probably all the alcohol but Soobin feels warm.

He lifts his head and leans back so he can get a better look at the stranger.

A hand on his back steadies him as he takes several blinks to try and get his eyes into focus.

“Junie?” 

Soobin definitely had too much alcohol because the stranger standing in front of him sure looks like Yeonjun but there’s something distinctly different about him.

He can’t stop staring. 

“Youlookgood,” The words tumble out of Soobin’s mouth in one unintelligible rush.

Yeonjun’s hair is slicked back and he’s dressed in a black, long-sleeved cut out crop top that exposes his left shoulder. The plaid pants he wears with similar combat boots to Soobin’s just barely brushes over his belly button.

He can’t tell if Yeonjun heard him or not but he looks at Soobin in concern. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Too much probably,” Soobin admits, swaying on the balls of his feet.

Yeonjun opens his mouth but is cut off by Soobin’s loud gasp as an idea comes to him.

“LET’S DANCE,” He yells and yanks Yeonjun. 

The song isn’t even one Soobin knows but it’s so good he can’t stop himself from moving.

It might be the best song he’s ever heard.

He throws his head back and closes his eyes, moving his hips to the beat. The music guides him, his body fully in control of all his movements and any thoughts secondary.

He suddenly remembers Yeonjun and opens his eyes to find the older staring at him, lips parted.

Soobin can see glitter on his eyelashes. It shimmers under the lowlights of the party. 

“Dance with meeeeee,” He whines and puts a hand on the older’s bare shoulder to pull him closer. 

Yeonjun stands still for all of one minute before he inches closer to Soobin and places a hand on the taller’s waist.

He leans his head back and closes his eyes, hand slowly tracing up and down Soobin’s side.

Soobin reaches out to touch the dangly silver earring that glints from Yeonjun’s left ear and lets his hand drift to his jaw. Yeonjun catches his breath and opens his eyes to look up at Soobin.

He’s so beautiful.

How had Soobin not noticed it before?

“‘M sorry,” He mumbles.

Yeonjun looks at him in confusion and Soobin leans down so that he can whisper in Yeonjun’s ear. “I’m sorry.”

Yeonjun pulls back, looking even more confused than before. 

Where was Soobin going with this again?

Before he can think of what to say he hears a booming voice call his name from behind him.

“Soobin-ah?”

Soobin swivels around, nearly falling in the process if not for Yeonjun steadying him.

“Oh,” Soobin blames the alcohol for his lack of vocabulary in the face of his sort of ex-boyfriend.

“Not like you to get drunk,” Jaeyong shouts, that easy smile of his Soobin always loved on his face. “Or attend a party.”

“Y’don’t know me,” Soobin slurs. “I do lots of things.”

Jaeyong laughs and just like that, the magic of the alcohol is suddenly gone and all Soobin wants to do is leave.

It’s the laugh Soobin had fallen in love with.

“Come on,” Jaeyong says, reaching out to Soobin. “Let’s get you sobered up.”

Soobin snatches his hand away and stumbles back, halfway to the floor before two steady arms secure him.

Yeonjun.

He begins to remove his hands after stabilizing Soobin but Soobin keeps them in place.

If he lets go, Soobin will fall and let the crowd stomp all over him.

“No,” He manages to spit out.

Jaeyong frowns. “What’s wrong?”

“Leavemealone.”

“Come on, don’t be like that Soobin-ah. I just wanna talk to you.”

Soobin freezes.

_Don’t be like that, I was just having fun. I love you, remember?_

Despite the bile building up in his throat, Soobin doesn’t protest when Jaeyong reaches out a second time.

Except-

“He said no.”

He doesn’t shout it but Yeonjun’s tone is loud enough that Jaeyong pauses to look at him.

“I don’t think I was talking to you,” Jaeyong glares at Yeonjun.

“And _I_ don’t think he wants to go with you,” Yeonjun replies, face blank.

“Since when do you hang out with people like _him_ , Soobin?” Jaeyong eyes Yeonjun up and down who remains as still as a log.

Soobin snaps out of his daze.

His mind is still hazy but he looks up at Jaeyong and manages to mutter a quick, “Fuck you,” before grabbing Yeonjun and stumbling away. 

He shoves sweaty bodies aside, almost falling flat on his face several times. His body feels too heavy and his throat suddenly too dry. 

There are too many people around him. 

He’s about to collapse on the floor and just curl himself into a ball regardless of the people around him but Yeonjun hooks an arm around his waist and yanks him through a door.

The music becomes muffled and he can’t see two feet in front of him but he lets himself fall to the floor. A hammer pounds the back of his head and he feels so sweaty and gross all of a sudden he wants to throw up. He’s about to ask Yeonjun what those weird sounds are before he realizes that it’s his own breathing.

He hears some shuffling and a click before warm light floods the room.

Soobin stares at the ceiling.

_A year later and he still has a hold on you._

A sob escapes Soobin’s throat and tears run down his cheeks.

It feels like he’s laying there forever before Yeonjun sits down and tugs him onto his lap, brushing Soobin’s hair that sticks to his forehead away to place a damp cloth there instead. It doesn’t do much for Soobin’s headache or the dizziness but it at least makes him feel less hot.

He can see Yeonjun looking down at him through his tears and immediately shuts his eyes.

“I’m-m sorry,” He says through hiccups.

Yeonjun takes the cloth and wipes the tears away from under Soobin’s eyes. “I’ve never met an apologizing drunk, that’s the second time for tonight, Dimples.”

Soobin doesn’t know what to say so he remains quiet and lets the older pat his face with the cloth.

“What are you apologizing for?” Yeonjun whispers.

For believing those stupid rumours and treating you differently because of it.

For ruining your night.

For being himself.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Yeonjun assures him, his free hand playing with Soobin’s ear. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Soobin wants to argue with that but there’s nothing left in him. He can’t believe a one minute encounter with Jaeyong left him in such a state.

“He never wanted to be seen with me,” Soobin mutters.

Yeonjun stops patting Soobin’s face. “Who?”

Soobin swallows. “Jaeyong. I liked him a lot. He’s so charming. When he told me he liked me as much as I did, I believed him. He said we were together but… nobody knew. We’d only hang out in secret. If I saw him in public he pretended that we were friends because he’d be with somebody else. 

“When I asked if he was embarrassed of me he always denied it, just said he liked to keep things private. I brought it up with him a lot and he always got upset, said I was pushing him to be open when he wasn’t ready. It was a cycle. We’d fight, break up, he’d get with somebody else and then I’d crawl back to him,” Soobin stops suddenly. “I don’t know why I told you that.” 

“I think it’s the alcohol,” Yeonjun says. “You’ll forget in the morning.”

“Probably.”

“He’s stupid,” Yeonjun mumbles after a long moment.

“I’d be embarrassed of dating me too,” Soobin says as a means of response.

“Then you’re stupid too,” Yeonjun huffs. “There’s so much to like about you.”

Soobin stills at that.

He opens his eyes and looks at the older’s pretty face. “Like?”

“You want me to list all your good qualities? Never took you for a narcissist,” Yeonjun pauses. “Also just a bit embarrassing on my part.”

“I’ll forget in the morning,” Soobin counters.

Soobin fights the last bits of alcohol in his system to focus his eyes on Yeonjun.

Yeonjun carefully places the cloth on the floor. He puts a finger on the space between Soobin’s eyebrows. It’s cold now from patting Soobin’s face with the cloth. 

“You have a cute nose,” He says and runs his finger down to the tip of Soobin’s nose. 

Then, he lifts it and places it on the top of Soobin’s ear, following the shape down to his lobes. “And soft ears that get red when you’re embarrassed.” 

He does all this while looking directly at Soobin whose brain feels so fuzzy at this point it might melt. 

“And your dimples of course,” Yeonjun adds, poking them lightly. “I have to stop myself from poking them every time I see you.”

Soobin tries to stop the giggle bubbling in his throat but fails when Yeonjun puts a hand under his chin and tickles it lightly.

Yeonjun smiles down at him and Soobin feels everything pause for a moment. 

The lights are brighter, allowing Soobin to see the kohl lining Yeonjun’s bottom lids that he didn’t notice before. 

It makes his brown eyes seem darker.

Soobin reaches a hand up to touch Yeonjun’s face.

“You’re so beautiful,” He murmurs. 

“You’re _so_ drunk,” Yeonjun tells him, voice rough. 

Before Soobin can protest, a phone rings.

Yeonjun startles.

Soobin momentarily wonders where his own phone is.

He tries to drop his hand to search for it but Yeonjun catches it and keeps it cupped on his cheek. 

Yeonjun eventually locates his phone and brings it to his ear with his free hand. 

“Hello?” His face changes and he drops Soobin’s hand quickly. “Where are you, Beomgyu-ah?” 

Soobin frowns.

“I’ll come find you okay? Just wait for me where you are,” Yeonjun promises.

He ends the call and dials another number, waiting patiently for the person to pick up. 

“Taehyun-ah,” He says finally. “I’m sorry to call you but I’m with Soobin. He’s drunk and I don’t wanna leave him but I have to go…”

Soobin clocks out of the conversation. It’s not that he wants to, he just feels exhausted all of a sudden.

So he closes his eyes.

When he opens them, he’s sitting at the back of a car he doesn’t recognize with his head resting on Kai’s shoulder.

All that’s left of Yeonjun is the stray glitter Soobin finds on the tips of his fingers. 

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“Who did it?” Yeonjun asks, barely containing the anger in his voice as he inspects Beomgyu’s split lip and bruised cheekbone. 

“‘S’not that bad,” Beomgyu slurs and swats Yeonjun’s hand away.

“I don’t care if it’s bad or not Beomgyu, who hit-”

“Can we just go hoooome already?” Beomgyu whines, attempting to stand up but falling back to the stairs where Yeonjun had seated him. “My head hurts.”

Yeonjun purses his lips. 

He has half the mind to interrogate every partygoer standing around the pair now to see if they saw who hit Beomgyu.

Instead, he helps his friend up and takes him out the house to Yeonjun’s car.

The plan was to go back to Beomgyu’s after the party but either the younger had lost his keys somewhere at the party or he forgot to take them in the first place because Yeonjun can’t find them anywhere.

As a result, Yeonjun ends up driving them to his house.

“Aish, how much did you drink?” Yeonjun mutters as he watches Beomgyu struggle to pull his t-shirt off. 

He shakes his head and walks to his cupboards to pull out a t-shirt and pants Beomgyu can sleep in. 

“Hold on,” Yeonjun grunts, stilling Beomgyu with a hand.

Beomgyu gives up and goes limp. “My head’s gonna fall off.”

“I doubt that,” Yeonjun tells him and slips his friend into the clothing he took out.

Yeonjun changes into his own comfortable clothes too and grabs a few tissues from the bathroom.

He returns to find the younger asleep.

He leans cautiously over Beomgyu, making sure to clean his face as well as he can. While he wipes away the glitter and the blood, Yeonjun thinks about who Beomgyu could’ve gotten into a fight with. 

One thing Yeonjun always admired about his friend is his easy going nature. It’s hard to believe Beomgyu instigated the fight. All Yeonjun could make out from his brief call with the younger earlier was that he wanted to go home.

He had made no mention of any fight and Yeonjun had only found out when he arrived to see Beomgyu’s ruffled state. 

He sighs when he’s done and looks down at Beomgyu’s now clean face. Even with the rather nasty looking bruise Yeonjun can still admire his beauty. He had always wondered how the younger managed to stay single for so long. Beomgyu always wrote it off to his crush on Soobin but Yeonjun has a hard time believing that he’s that devoted to his crush. He had seen a fair share of Beomgyu’s admirers.

Yeonjun gently picks him up and tucks him into bed properly. He’s about to turn around to go and sit down at his desk to do some work since he’s not that tired but he feels a hand curl around his wrist and Beomgyu tugs him down. Yeonjun doesn’t protest and climbs onto the bed.

Beomgyu curls up against his side like he’s done so many times before and rests his head on Yeonjun’s chest.

Yeonjun thinks back to the first time it had happened.

He had frozen up, much like when Kai hugged him. His mother isn’t a very affectionate woman and well, his dad is his dad.

His experience with affection has been very limited.

But Beomgyu had been open with him from the get go. He didn’t hesitate to engulf Yeonjun in hugs and pull him close whenever he was upset. After a while Yeonjun had also stopped thinking about it and being with Beomgyu became something natural.

“He was insulting you,” Beomgyu mumbles into Yeonjun’s chest.

“Who?”

“Dunno. Some random guy.” 

Yeonjun stills. “Is that why you were in a fight?”

Beomgyu’s silence is enough to confirm Yeonjun’s suspicion.

“Why, Beomgyu-ah? I don’t care about what people say anymore.”

“But I do,” Beomgyu insists.

“Why?” Yeonjun exasperates. 

Beomgyu stays silent for a long moment. “So stupid…”

Yeonjun pinches him lightly. “You’re gonna have to start paying me every time you say that now.”

Yeonjun waits for some equally comedic reply but it never comes.

He’s fallen asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i found this bit to write rly fun so hope you enjoyed it as much as i did!! i'm a small account on twitter so if any of you like where the story is going, please share with your friends. a retweet goes a long way for me but if not, comments and kudos are also always appreciated :]  
> i love hearing your thoughts and where you think the story is going.  
> see you on friday & enjoy the rest of your week <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanted to apologize for any typos and spelling errors you guys may come across T-T i do try my best to fix them all before posting but my eyes miss a lot sometimes.  
> anyways- thank you once again for all your lovely comments. user usefulbreadcrumbs you're my favourite person, hope you know that.  
> enjoy <3

**Chapter 7**

With the break beginning, Yeonjun finds himself picking up an extra shift at the bakery to earn some more money. He still hasn’t gotten around to asking his mum about why she’s been slacking on groceries.

Part of him doesn’t even want to.

He hopes it’s just something she’s been doing unconsciously because of work stress. 

Working at the bakery has become significantly easier. There are still some recipes he doesn’t quite execute well but for the most part, working with Soobin that first week had proved to be more than helpful.

Soobin.

He thinks back to his encounter with the boy last night and immediately feels a pang of guilt. While he had been helping Soobin, Beomgyu was getting beat up by some stranger. 

Yeonjun hadn’t even intended on staying with Soobin for so long. He had been on his way to get some fresh air when he’d almost walked over Soobin. Before he knew it, he was being pulled onto the dance floor and Yeonjun just couldn’t find it in himself to say no to the taller boy. 

He packs a dozen donuts into a box for a customer and thinks of the quick change in Soobin when that other boy - Jaeyong? - had appeared. Soobin had gone from a carefree drunk to a sobbing mess.

_ Why are you thinking about this?  _

Yeonjun shakes his head. 

He places all his focus into pushing through his shift instead. He had promised Beomgyu after dropping him off this morning that he’d stop by to check in on him after work. His poor friend had woken up with a bad hangover and looked miserable.

Yeonjun makes a point to pack some donuts for him when his shift comes to an end and secures it safely in the passenger seat on his way over to Beomgyu’s. 

Beomgyu’s mum directs Yeonjun upstairs. “He hasn’t left bed,” She tells him with a shake of her head.

When Yeonjun opens the door to Beomgyu’s bedroom, he finds the other curled up under his sheets with the blinds shut.

“Knock knock,” Yeonjun greets and walks in, placing the box of donuts on the bedside table before hopping onto the bed beside him.

Beomgyu groans in response but pulls the covers down just a tad to see Yeonjun who ruffles his hair.

“I brought you donuts,” He tells the younger.

At that, Beomgyu sits up and Yeonjun passes him the box. He smiles as he watches Beomgyu brighten slightly and dig into it.

“Feeling any better?” Yeonjun asks, wiping away the stray icing that Beomgyu manages to get on his nose.

“Better than this morning anyway,” Beomgyu shrugs.

The scar on his lip seems to have healed. All that’s left is the bruise on the cheek which is now a sickly yellow.

Yeonjun’s hand still twitches when he thinks about it but he shoves his anger away.

He stands up. “I have to get going.”

Beomgyu’s face falls as he looks up at Yeonjun. “So soon?”

“I have to get to my dad earlier today, Seri wants to do some final measurements. Dad’s birthday is soon,” Yeonjun pats Beomgyu’s head.

“Shit,” Beomgyu mutters. “I forgot.” He looks at Yeonjun with regret. “I can’t come anymore.”

Yeonjun deflates.

“Why?” He asks, trying to not sound upset.

“My parents planned a short trip for the break,” Beomgyu complains. “I tried to get out of it but my dad’s not budging. I asked if you could come and they said yes but…”

“...But that can’t happen because of my dad,” Yeonjun confirms stuffing his fists into his pockets.

“I’m sorry, Hyung. Really, I’ll try and convince-”

“No no,” Yeonjun cuts him off and sighs. “It’s okay, I’ll just go alone Beommie.” 

“You don’t have to. Invite somebody else,” Beomgyu suggests.

Yeonjun stares at him.

Did Beomgyu suddenly forget that he happens to be Yeonjun’s only friend?

Beomgyu looks away and fiddles with his fingers. “Invite Soobin.” 

Yeonjun pauses.

“No,” Yeonjun manages to say after a long moment.

“Why not?” Beomgyu questions, raising an eyebrow at Yeonjun. 

“You like him.” 

Beomgyu frowns in response. “Yeah? What does that have to do with anything?” 

Yeonjun doesn’t have a response to that.

He shakes his head. “I haven’t told him about my family,” He settles on saying instead. 

Beomgyu sighs. “Would it be so bad if you did tell him, Hyungie?”

When Yeonjun doesn’t respond Beomgyu merely shrugs and gives him a small smile. “Just a suggestion. Better get going before your dad yells…”

Dinner at his dad’s that night drags on longer than usual. 

He thinks about his conversation with Seri a little earlier as he pokes at the rice in his plate.

“How was the party?” She asked as she took some final measurements around his waist with her tape.

Yeonjun thought back to his short lived moment with a very drunk Soobin laying on his lap. “Not bad,” He told her. 

She smiled in response and started sifting through her fabric in her cupboard. “How’s Beomgyu-ah? Did you tell him he can come to your father’s birthday yet?”

Yeonjun winces. “He can’t come anymore, sorry for putting you through stress for nothing…”

Instead of looking angry she looked more concerned. “Is everything okay? Did you two have a falling out?”

Yeonjun shook his head and raised his hands to his chest. “Nothing like that, no. He just has to go on holiday with his parents and can’t miss it.”

Seri shot him a sympathetic look from her cupboard. “I’m sorry Yeonjun-ah. Is there anybody else you can bring?”

Yeonjun hesitated and Seri gave him an encouraging nod to speak. 

“Just one person, I guess,” He admitted, stepping off the little podium he was standing on after Seri gave him the green light. 

“So why not?” She asked.

“I just…” Yeonjun trailed off. 

How was he supposed to explain that he wasn’t used to having friends and that inviting Soobin meant exposing him to a part of himself he kept hidden from everybody except Beomgyu?

“Is it your dad?” She asked not unkindly.

Yeonjun pursed his lips and gave a small nod.

“I don’t know if this will comfort you but since it’s his birthday he probably won’t be all that concerned with you,” Seri told him, a little unsure. “Your dad’s always been very… ah, what’s the word?”

Pompous? Obnoxious? Dumb? Haughty?

Yeonjun has a list of words to describe his father.

“He’s always been focused on his reputation and that of his company,” Seri chooses to say lightly. “So he’ll be more pleasant than usual. You’ll probably be bothered once or twice.” 

Yeonjun’s mouth twitches at his step-mother’s careful use of words.

He had ended up dropping Soobin a text, not mentioning his dad’s birthday or anything. Just a text to ask how he’s been doing since the party.

He hasn’t gotten a reply yet.

Yeonjun’s pulled out of his daydream by Renjun’s voice.

“...But why can’t I dance like Yeonie?” 

Yeonjun’s head snaps to him. 

Renjun looks at his dad with a sad pout.

Renjun has never seen Yeonjun dance properly but sometimes when he was forced to look after the boy by his dad’s orders, Yeonjun would mess around to entertain him and keep him distracted.

Yeonjun’s father’s jaw tightens. “Seri you look tired. Why don’t you take Renjunnie upstairs and lay down?”

Yeonjun sits still and prepares himself for what’s to come.

Seri widens her eyes in alarm and clears her throat. “I’m feeling fine darling-”

“Sae-eomma,” Yeonjun interrupts. 

He doesn’t say anything but just locks eyes with her and hopes she understands. The last thing Yeonjun wants is for his step-mother to get caught in the crossfire of his dad’s oncoming rage.

She shuts her mouth reluctantly and stands up stiffly, taking hold of Renjun by the hand and tugging him as he protests.

His father doesn’t waste time in turning his anger onto Yeonjun once they disappear.

“What have you been teaching my son?” He spits.

_ My son _ .

Yeonjun tries not to snort.

“Nothing,” He answers honestly, face blank as he stares down the flared nostrils on his dad.

“Don’t lie to me, boy,” His dad warns.

“I didn’t teach him anything,” Yeonjun insists, his patience wearing thin. “When he’s bored because his dad is never around I just-”

The slap comes quicker than Yeonjun expects.

Sometimes he dodges them. It honestly does nothing but anger his father further but Yeonjun gets a kick out of it so he does it whenever his father’s blows come.

This time, it’s a quick crack across his cheek, so fast that all Yeonjun can do is stand in shock.

His hand twitches at his side but he resists putting it on his cheek.

“I’m done with you tonight,” His father announces calmly, a stark contrast to his energy two seconds before. “Go home to your mother. She probably needs you.” 

He leaves Yeonjun without saying another word. 

When he gets home, he makes sure his mother is sound asleep before heading to the kitchen and taking an old glass out of the cabinet.

Once he’s outside he takes a deep breath.

It’s not like his dad has never hit him before.

They were more frequent when he was younger, nothing alarming enough to warrant a hospital visit or concern a teacher. 

After his dad left, it stopped. Yeonjun could almost forget the blows. When his dad came back into his life it became more difficult to ignore.

He didn’t do it as much as when Yeonjun was a kid. Now it was more whenever Yeonjun spoke out of line. Yeonjun has learned to bite his tongue but sometimes, like tonight, it slips out.

The last time his dad had slapped him had been months ago. His dad had mentioned his mother being pathetic and Yeonjun had retaliated by calling him something equally as nasty.

He looks down at the glass in his hand and then hurls it as hard as he can at the wall. 

He flinches and then curses as a piece ricochets and grazes his cheek.

“Fuck,” He mutters, feeling the hot rush of blood drip down his face. 

He cups his cheek and carefully cleans the remaining bits of glass before heading inside.

“How am I going to explain this to Beomgyu?” He groans as he inspects the cut in the mirror in his bathroom. 

He’s never told Beomgyu about his dad hitting him, he never thought it was serious enough to bring up. He also doesn’t want to make Beomgyu more worried than he already is.

The cut isn’t deep enough to warrant stitches but he’ll definitely need a big band-aid or something.

He’s not even sure that they have any. 

He turns every cabinet inside out but comes up with nothing.

Great.

He sighs.

He’ll have to go to the store. 

He leaves the car at home and takes a walk instead. It’s illogical but his cheek reddens at the memory of the slap and the last thing he wants to do is be reminded of his dad.  If he takes it now he knows he’ll just crash it.  Besides, the store is only a fifteen minute walk away. He taps his back pocket to feel his wallet and begins his walk.

By the time he reaches the store, the tissue is soaked through and the tips of his fingers are stained red.

Once he’s inside the store he goes straight to the section where they keep the band-aids, ignoring the strange looks the late night stragglers throw at him.

He scans the shelf and squints at the labels. His glasses broke a while back and while his eyesight isn’t extremely poor he still struggles sometimes.

“...I don’t want to see him,” He hears a familiar voice complain.

Yeonjun straightens. 

“Well I don’t see how else you’re going to get your phone back,” A second familiar voice tells the first.

Yeonjun wipes his hands quickly on his pants before grabbing a random box of band-aids and darting out the aisle before the disembodied voices appear.

It might not be them but Yeonjun wants to leave as soon as possible if it is to avoid any questions.

There’s only one teller open this late at night so he waits impatiently behind a man in his mid-thirties buying a pack of milk to disguise the condoms he discretely places on the countertop.

Finally, it’s his turn.

The cashier frowns at his bloody fingers but doesn’t say much as she rings the box up.

With one hand still gripping the tissue to his cheek, Yeonjun taps his back pocket where he felt his wallet and… brings out his phone instead.

He stares at it, dumbfounded.

Did he really come all this way only to forget his wallet?

The cashier clears her throat, clearly not impressed.

Yeonjun wants to throw the box at her.

He shoves his phone back into his pocket, trying his best not to scream. “Sorry, I'll just-”

“Yeonjun Hyung?”

Well.

Yeonjun sighs and turns around, trying his best to not look pitiful.

Soobin looks at Yeonjun in shock, holding a tub of ice-cream in one hand. 

“Hyung,” Taehyun says in alarm beside Soobin. “Are you okay?”

Yeonjun forces a smile. “Fine. Just trying to buy some band-aids but it seems I’ve forgotten my wallet so…” 

With that, he flashes the cashier an apologetic smile and jogs out of the store after waving a quick goodbye to the pair. 

He shoves his free hand into his pocket and begins his trek back to his house.

Maybe it was rude to just bounce like that but Yeonjun’s mood has been declining since Beomgyu’s and he does not want to have to explain himself now.

He’s so absorbed in his annoyance he doesn’t hear the footsteps behind him until he feels a hand on his shoulder turn him around.

He blinks up at Soobin who pants after what seemed like running to catch up to Yeonjun.

“Here,” He says through short breaths, handing Yeonjun the box of band-aids.

Yeonjun looks down at it. “You didn’t have to.”

“You’re literally bleeding from your face,” Soobin scoffs, throwing him a baffled look.

I mean he’s not wrong.

“Well… thank you,” Yeonjun tells him, unsure of what else to say. 

He expects Soobin to leave but he just stares at Yeonjun.

“Are you going to put it on or…?” Soobin asks after a long moment.

Well he  _ was _ , but now he feels weird doing it with Soobin watching. 

Yeonjun takes his phone out and uses the front facing camera to try and see where the cut is but he can barely see himself because of the lack of light. 

Before he can do anything about it, Soobin takes his arm and tugs him gently. “Come here.”

He leads Yeonjun to an unfamiliar car parked under a streetlight and takes the box from Yeonjun. 

He takes out a band-aid and places a hand on Yeonjun’s hand that holds the blood soaked tissue to move it away from the cut. 

Yeonjun watches in silence as Soobin carefully places the plaster on his cheek, mouth partly open in concentration.

“There,” He announces satisfied, hand still on Yeonjun’s. “You need to clean it when you get home and put another one on.”

“Thank-” 

“Hyung!” Taehyun shouts, jogging out of the store and carrying a packet. Soobin drops Yeonjun’s hand as Taehyun looks at Yeonjun in concern. “Are you okay? What happened?”

Yeonjun gives him a strained smile. “I’m fine Taehyun-ah. Just a little accident. I have to go but thank you for your help.”

“Where’d you park your car? I don’t see it,” Soobin frowns as he scans the empty parking lot.

“I walked.”

“Aish!” Soobin slaps his forehead.

“Let us take you home,” Taehyun insists, tapping the hood of the car the three of them stand near. “It’s late and you’re bleeding.”

Panicked at the thought of both of them seeing his house he shakes his head vigorously. “No I-”

“Taehyun-ah, you can drop the two of us at my house and I’ll take Yeonjun Hyung home. Besides,” Soobin interrupts. “He left something there that I’ve been meaning to give back to him.” 

Yeonjun wracks his brain for a solid minute trying to figure out what he might have left at Soobin’s house. It’s only when Soobin catches his eye that he realizes the boy is lying.

Why? Yeonjun can’t tell, but it makes one less person he’d have to lie about where he lives so he goes with it.

“Yes,” He agrees, sounding more stiff than he imagined. “I mean yeah, that would be helpful,” Yeonjun rephrases.

Taehyun shrugs. “Fine by me, let’s go.”

The three of them hop into the car and Yeonjun keeps quietly to himself in the backseat as Soobin and Taehyun talk. 

He momentarily wonders where Huening Kai is. Yeonjun’s never seen Taehyun without the former by his side.

“So what are you going to do?” Taehyun asks, looking left and right before he drives through a stop street.

Yeonjun opens his mouth, unsure of what to say but realizes when Soobin answers that Taehyun wasn’t actually talking to him. 

“There’s not much else I can do, is there?” Soobin grumbles miserably. “I have to see him to get the stupid phone.”

“Was he that bad?” Taehyun asks, eyes darting to Soobin.

To that, Soobin remains quiet.

Taehyun doesn’t pressure him to say anything and turns on the radio for the remaining journey but Yeonjun would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little curious about what they were talking about.

When they eventually arrive at Soobin’s house, Soobin wraps Taehyun in a tight hug. “It’ll be alright,” He assures Taehyun before he hops out of the car. 

Yeonjun isn’t sure what he means but Taehyun smiles gratefully.

“Thank you for the lift,” Yeonjun says before opening the door. Taehyun gives him a two-fingered salute in acknowledgement and Yeonjun joins Soobin outside, waving goodbye as Taehyun pulls away.

Yeonjun walks to where Soobin’s car is parked only for Soobin to shake his head. “Let me help clean your cut first at least,” He insists.

And because Yeonjun barely has any energy left in him, all he says is, “Okay,” and lets Soobin lead him into the house.

It’s pitch black inside, the moonlight barely peeking through the tightly shut blinds. Yeonjun shuffles forward carefully, trying his best to follow Soobin. His foot catches on the carpet and he blindly reaches forward to catch himself before he falls. His hands land on Soobin’s back who reaches behind him and holds onto Yeonjun’s hand.

He navigates the two of them successfully in the dark all the way to his room where he finally switches on a light.

They both blink their eyes several times to adjust to the light before Soobin tugs Yeonjun into his bathroom. 

“Sit,” He orders the older, patting the basin’s countertop as he opens the cabinet above it.

Yeonjun does as he’s told and feels a little childish as he looks down at his feet. The sink is high enough that they don’t touch the floor.

Soobin shuffles around in the cabinet for a while before pulling out some cotton pads, disinfectant and what looks to be an ointment of some sorts.

He places a towel on Yeonjun’s lap after washing his hands and wetting a cloth. 

Soobin raises his other hand. “May I?”

Yeonjun nods before Soobin places a slender hand on his jawline. 

“Might hurt, I’m sorry,” He apologizes as he squeezes the wet cloth onto the cut in attempt to rinse the wound after carefully peeling the band-aid off.

Sitting on the counter has him face to face with Soobin for the first time. He’s always had to tilt his head up slightly because of Soobin’s height. Yeonjun watches Soobin’s lips pout in concentration as he works on cleaning the cut.

He’d only been this close to Soobin on two occasions, once at the party and the other the time at the bakery.

Both times they’d been interrupted.

Interrupted is probably the wrong word because it would imply that they were doing something but really, both times Yeonjun had just been on the verge of saying something impulsive. 

_ You’re so beautiful. _

Yeonjun wonders if Soobin remembers last night. He knows Soobin was drunk so he didn’t take the comment to heart too much.

Still, he can’t get the image of Soobin out of his head when the taller had said it. 

Face flushed, hair slightly curled and sticking to his forehead from dancing so much, panting and slightly out of breath from the crying, eyes struggling to focus on Yeonjun and his  _ lips _ -

“Shit,” Yeonjun mutters and flinches when he feels a sting on his cheeks. 

Soobin looks at him apologetically as he dabs the surrounding area of the cut with disinfectant more carefully this time. 

“What happened?” Soobin asks quietly.

His tone is not prying or filled with curiosity.

It’s just pure and genuine concern.

“I was throwing a glass at a wall and a piece of it rebounded and grazed my cheek,” Yeonjun answers honestly. 

Soobin looks at him but doesn’t say anything as he discards the cotton swab and rinses his hands a second time. He grabs the ointment he took out and gently applies it to Yeonjun’s cut. 

Yeonjun braces himself for it to sting but instead, it soothes his inflamed skin. 

“Aren’t you going to ask why?” Yeonjun blurts as Soobin finally applies the plaster to his cheek. 

“Do you want me to?” Soobin asks, flattening the edges of the plaster on Yeonjun’s cheek. 

Yeonjun thinks for a moment then shakes his head. 

Soobin looks at him and smiles, his dimples so endearingly soft Yeonjun twists his hands to stop from touching them. “Then I won’t.”

It’s a simple exchange between the two but Yeonjun finds himself stunned.

Maybe it’s because he’s always been prepared to defend himself that he usually has an explanation up his sleeve. 

Beomgyu has always stressed that Yeonjun doesn’t ever have to tell him something he isn’t comfortable sharing but Yeonjun can see how much the younger worries about him. Even if he tries not to, Beomgyu constantly asks him questions and because Yeonjun doesn’t want to worry his friend out more, he just doesn’t tell him the whole truth sometimes.

“What was wrong with Taehyun?” Yeonjun opts to ask Soobin as he watches him clean up.

Soobin pauses for a moment before answering. “He’s just going through… a heartbreak.”

Yeonjun widens his eyes at that. “Is it Huening Kai?”

Soobin laughs and shakes his head, turning to Yeonjun with a knowing smile after packing everything away. “Taehyun and Kai are best friends, that’s all. Though I’m pretty sure Taehyun was Kai’s first crush.”

That makes sense to Yeonjun.

“Then somebody else broke Taehyun’s heart,” Yeonjun presumes.

Soobin comes to stand in front of Yeonjun and nods his head sadly. 

“We were at the store because he was having a bad time and called me to go for a short drive for ice-cream,” Soobin explains.

Yeonjun nods in understanding. He’s done similar things for Beomgyu when he was down.

“Why did you lie? About me leaving something at your house, I mean,” Yeonjun meets Soobin’s eyes.

Soobin shrugs his shoulders. “You just… seemed panicked, I was trying to help.” 

“Oh,” Yeonjun whispers. “Thank you.”

Soobin smiles shyly in response. 

All at once, Yeonjun doesn’t want to leave.

He doesn’t want to go home only to struggle to fall asleep and ultimately give up by trying to sell more clothes until his eyes shut on their own accord.

He doesn’t want to be by himself and think about his resentment towards his father and the sting of the slap. 

He doesn’t want to think about his mother and why she’s been slacking on groceries.

There’s something about the quietness of the moment, Soobin standing right in front of him, lit up by the dim light of the bathroom fiddling with his hands while looking at Yeonjun softly that makes Yeonjun want to talk more so that the moment isn’t lost.

“Do you-”

“Can I-”

Both of them stop and laugh.

Yeonjun makes a gesture with his hands to tell Soobin he should go first. 

Soobin touches his ears and looks away from Yeonjun when he speaks. “I, uh, was just gonna ask if you wanted to stay since it’s late and I’m technically not allowed to drive-”

“Yes,” Yeonjun interrupts, breathing a sigh of relief.

Soobin blinks in shock like he didn’t expect Yeonjun to actually say yes. “Are you sure? I don’t mind it’s just-”

“I don’t want to be alone tonight,” Yeonjun admits quietly. 

Soobin’s face loses its embarrassment and understanding takes over it instead.

“I’ll get you some clothes and make us tea while you change?” He asks somewhat hesitantly.

Yeonjun nods his head and Soobin disappears momentarily to get him clothes. He remembers putting on Soobin’s t-shirt last time and feeling like he was drowning in the material. Still, it was oddly comforting.

The top smelled a lot like Soobin; like baked bread and pancakes on a Sunday morning. 

He returns a moment later with a similar top and pants and Yeonjun accepts it gratefully. 

“Your toothbrush and face cloth from last time is still here,” Soobin taps the cabinet behind Yeonjun. “l’ll see you in a few,” With that, he leaves Yeonjun in the bathroom.

Yeonjun changes quickly and looks at himself in the mirror on the cabinet. It’s safe to say that he looks nothing short of a mess. Thankfully, the red of his father’s slap has disappeared so the only alarming thing on his face is the cut on his cheek now. His hair is disheveled though and he looks as tired as he feels. 

He tries to pat down the stray strands atop his head. His hair is getting too long and he’s getting tired of the black too. He might ask Beomgyu if his mother would let him use some dye to change it up sometime.

After knotting the t-shirt in front and cleaning the rest of his face up, he exits the bathroom.

Soobin isn’t back yet so Yeonjun sits on the edge of the bed and pulls his phone out. 

There’s just a text from Beomgyu.

_ Can we call? _

Yeonjun frowns and dials Beomgyu’s number.

“What’s wrong?” Yeonjun asks when Beomgyu picks up.

“What do you mean?” Beomgyu replies, sounding thoroughly confused.

“You asked to call,” Yeonjun explains.

Beomgyu laughs. “I call you all the time, nothing is wrong.”

Yeonjun massages his temples. “Right.”

“Are you okay? How was dinner?” Beomgyu’s voice becomes a little muffled. He probably moved from his desk chair to his bed.

“Fine,” Yeonjun answers, more curtly than he means to. 

“So you’re not?” He frames it as a statement more than a question.

“I said I’m fine Beomgyu."

Soobin walks in just then, two mugs in hand. He’s about to say something but realizes that Yeonjun is on the phone and just places the mugs silently on the table before crawling onto the bed.

“Was it your dad again?” 

Yeonjun turns away from Soobin slightly. “I said I’m fine.”

“Well sorry for not being convinced, you always say you’re fine when you’re not."

Yeonjun let’s out an irritated huff. “What do you want me to say?” Before Beomgyu can answer he charges on. “‘I’m not actually okay but you can’t do anything about it so don’t worry Beomgyu but thanks for caring!?”

“Why are you talking to me like that?” Beomgyu asks, a tinge of hurt in his voice.

“Like what?” Yeonjun snaps, fully aware of what the younger means.

“I don’t know,” Beomgyu’s voice is quiet. “Nevermind, I’m probably being sensitive. Goodnight, Hyung."

The line goes dead.

Yeonjun wants to throw his phone against the wall.

He almost forgets that he’s at Soobin’s house until he feels a hand on his shoulder. 

“It’ll get cold,” Soobin whispers, passing him his mug of tea.

Yeonjun accepts it and gets into a more comfortable position, mimicking Soobin who has his back against the bed’s headrest.

“What happened to your phone?” Yeonjun asks to distract himself, recalling Soobin and Taehyun’s voices in the store before he bumped into them.

Soobin seems confused at first but seems to remember after a moment. “I lost it at the party. Somebody found it and wants me to meet up with them to collect it."

“Somebody…?” Yeonjun trails off.

Soobin sighs. “His name is Jaeyong."

A lightbulb clicks.

“Oh, your ex,” Yeonjun recalls.

Soobin freezes. “Wait, how did you…?” Realization dawns on him and his face turns into a mixture of embarrassment and horror. “I told you at the party?”

Yeonjun can’t help but laugh at the look on his face. “Relax, Dimples. Yeah at the party, I bumped into you at some point and then Jaeyong approached you. He tried to talk to you but you didn’t want to so you pulled me away and we walked into the closest room. You just told me what happened between the two of you, nothing embarrassing about that."

Soobin looks at him doubtfully. 

“Okay well you did cry,” Yeonjun adds. “And call me beautiful but-”

At that, Soobin chokes on his tea.

He sputters and the liquid spills all over his clothes, messing his  _ I’m not short, just fun sized _ sleeping top. Must’ve been bought as a joke by Taehyun or Kai, Yeonjun thinks. Yeonjun isn’t short by any means but Soobin’s still a head taller than him.

Yeonjun stifles his laugh and puts his mug down to prevent further spillage. 

He swiftly removes Soobin’s mug from his tight grip and tells him to wait while he fetches tissue from the bathroom. 

When he returns a minute later, Soobin looks so awfully embarrassed that Yeonjun can’t help but laugh. 

“Please stop,” He mumbles, his red ears turning a shade even darker.

Yeonjun sits next to Soobin and begins patting him dry, no longer laughing but with a smile plastered to his face.

“I’m sorry,” Yeonjun apologizes. “You’re just so cute sometimes."

“How much did I tell you?” He asks, voice slightly strained.

“Vague details,” Yeonjun assures him. “You liked him more than he liked you, you never dated in public...”

Yeonjun breaks off more tissue to wipe Soobin’s face, moving from his chin to his lips. 

Yeonjun finds himself thinking back to the bakery when Soobin had said Yeonjun’s eyes are pretty. He had barely registered the comment because he had been thinking about how pretty Soobin’s lips are, much like now. 

The shape is so unique, he thinks to himself. Almost heart shaped when he pouts, especially when he’s eating and he-

Soobin clears his throat. 

Yeonjun drags his eyes away to look up at Soobin who looks like he ate a pot of spicy ramen at this point.

“That’s all you said,” Yeonjun tells him distractedly. “And don’t worry, you didn’t say anything embarrassing."

Soobin swallows and looks away, refusing to make eye contact with Yeonjun. 

“So your phone,” Yeonjun prompts, getting up to throw away the tissues. 

“Oh,” Soobin remembers. “Yeah… He picked it up at the party. It must’ve been unlocked or something because he texted Taehyun and said to meet up with him tomorrow to get it." 

“And you don’t want to,” Yeonjun assumes, settling back down on the bed beside Soobin.

“No, but I have to,” Soobin shrugs, looking uncomfortable. “Anyway." 

He gets up to go brush his teeth as an idea pops into Yeonjun’s head. 

He doesn’t say anything at first. In fact, Soobin wishes him goodnight and he stares up at the ceiling for a while before he hears Soobin shift, indicating that he’s still awake. 

Yeonjun flips onto his side so that he faces the taller whose eyes open at the movement. 

“Junie?” He whispers and blinks to adjust his eyes in the dark. 

“I’ll come with you,” Yeonjun proposes. “To fetch your phone, so that you’re not alone,” He adds at the confused look on Soobin’s face.

“You don’t have to do that,” Soobin shakes his head.

“You didn’t let me finish, Dimples,” He chides, reaching out to poke Soobin’s cheek. “I’ll come with you if you do something for me in return."

At that, Soobin’s face changes from confusion to curiosity. “What is it?”

“I’ll come with you if you come with me,” Yeonjun suggests.

“Go with you…?” Soobin trails off.

“Come with me to my dad’s stupid birthday party.” 

Soobin’s eyebrows shoot up. “Wouldn’t that be a little forward of me? Intruding on a family event like that.”

Yeonjun shakes his head. He realizes his hand is still on Soobin’s cheek and he retracts it. “I was supposed to bring Beomgyu but he’s going to be away for the break. I can’t deal with my dad alone.” 

“You don’t like your dad,” Soobin notes matter-of-factly.

“Hate him,” Yeonjun admits truthfully.

Soobin looks at Yeonjun debatingly before he nods his head. “Deal.”

Yeonjun smiles. “You have to also promise me you won’t stop talking to me after you meet my dad."

He holds his pinky out and Soobin looks at it incredulously.

“Surely he’s not that bad?” He asks, to which Yeonjun merely snorts and wiggles his finger.

Soobin sighs and hooks his pinky with Yeonjun’s. “I promise to continue being your friend after meeting your dad."

And it turns out that they end up falling asleep just like that; smiling and holding each other’s pinkies. 

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Maybe it’s because Soobin’s bed is far more comfier than his but Yeonjun finds himself actually having a good night's rest despite his anxieties. 

Soobin’s mother however is quite alarmed when she finds Yeonjun in Soobin’s bed the next morning.

Yeonjun is sleeping peacefully when he hears a door open. He ignores it at first thinking that it’s just Soobin getting up to go to the bathroom.

It only clicks in his head that he would’ve felt the bed shift just when he hears Soobin’s mother’s voice.

“BinBin where did you put- WHAT IS YEONJUN DOING IN YOUR BED?”

Yeonjun’s eyes fly open and he sits up slowly, very calm in contrast to Soobin who bolts upright. He looks extremely confused at first but realization dawns on his face as he looks from Yeonjun to his mother’s scandalized face at the door.

He springs up, moving faster than Yeonjun had ever seen him move, face as red as a clown’s nose as he rushes to his mother.

“MA,” He yells at her equally as loud. “WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT KNOCKING?”

He forces her out the door and closes it behind him. 

Yeonjun can hear the two of them speaking in low but insistent whispers just outside the door.

He pays them no mind and grabs his phone, checking to see the time.

He still has enough time to go home and change before he picks up his afternoon shift at the bakery. He had hoped to be able to speak to Beomgyu before but it’ll have to wait until after.

Speaking of his friend, he hasn’t gotten a text from him since last night. Yeonjun doesn’t blame him. He had projected his pent up frustration of the night onto Beomgyu unnecessarily. Yeonjun makes a note to buy some cake when his shift ends to take to Beomgyu as an apology.

Soobin comes back in and leans his back against the door, his eyes looking everywhere except at Yeonjun.

He looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here.

A smile tugs at Yeonjun’s lips.

“Please don’t clown me for this,” Soobin mumbles. “But how do you like your eggs?”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“Your leg will fall off at this rate, Dimples,” Yeonjun points out, stopping his cleaning of tables to lay a hand on Soobin’s bouncing knee.

Soobin looks at him apologetically and bites his lip. 

Yeonjun’s day is going a little more differently than he planned because Soobin’s mum insisted he stay for breakfast. After that, both his parents offered to take Yeonjun with them to the bakery, claiming that it would be pointless to go home and get ready when he could just borrow some of Soobin’s clothes and get ready at his house.

Yeonjun felt a little hesitant but after a lot of convincing he did as they said. Now, he’s waiting with Soobin at the bakery nearing the end of his shift for Jaeyong to pitch up and return Soobin’s phone.

Taehyun had helped Soobin communicate with Jaeyong about meeting up but Yeonjun had been the one to suggest the bakery. 

It seemed to be the most convenient option.

Yeonjun softens when he looks up from the table he was wiping to Soobin. “He hurt you that badly?”

Soobin’s face falls, any courage he’d been trying to muster up the past few minutes as they wait disappearing in a moment. 

The small interaction Yeonjun had seen between the two had given him a good enough impression of who came out of the relationship better but he’s still curious at how Soobin seems so rattled. 

“He was my first kiss,” Soobin tells Yeonjun with his head in his hands. He looks up and blinks. “Sorry. That was stupid, too much information."

“It’s not,” Yeonjun assures him but Soobin looks unconvinced. 

Yeonjun sighs and takes his apron off, wracking his brain for something. “What’s your favourite fruit?”

“Strawberry,” Soobin answers without missing a beat.

Yeonjun could have guessed that- a likable fruit for a likable person.

“Mine is kiwi,” He tells Soobin without any prompting.

“I’ve never had one,” Soobin admits. “The texture of the skin always freaked me out.”

Yeonjun clutches his chest. “For shame! Kiwis are delicious, I’m going to get you to eat a kiwi one of these days."

Soobin laughs and Yeonjun silently notes his victory in distracting the taller successfully. 

“I’m not opposed to it,” Soobin shrugs. 

“If you were we’d have to reevaluate a few things,” Yeonjun says seriously.

Soobin opens his mouth to reply but is interrupted by the ringing bell of the bakery’s door.

“Didn’t know you were bringing company, Soobin-ah.”

Soobin shoots up and whips around, Yeonjun following more calmly, to find Jaeyong standing in the bakery looking thoroughly unimpressed at Yeonjun’s presence.

When it’s clear that Soobin doesn’t have an answer to Jaeyong’s passive aggressive greeting, Yeonjun throws the cloth he was using to wipe the tables clean over his shoulder casually.

“Not everything goes to plan,” Yeonjun replies monotonously. “And I work here, not like I’d choose to see you if I wanted to."

Okay slightly unnecessary considering Yeonjun’s had one whole conversation with the man but it’s worth it for the irritated look Jaeyong gives him.

Without the low lights of the party concealing half of his face, Yeonjun can see what Jaeyong really looks like.

To put it simply, he looks a lot like the love interest of the main protagonist in some cheesy coming of age novel. Relatively tall with brown hair and glasses that scream  _ Reading books is my personality! _

He probably owns a golden retriever.

“Ah, my phone, Jaeyong-ssi?” Soobin interrupts, before Jaeyong can retort.

“Yeah,” Jaeyong mutters, moving his eyes from Yeonjun to Soobin and forcing a smile as he pulls the phone out of his faded denim jacket. “Here you go, Soob. And you can still call me Hyung you know.

Soobin blinks and blinks and  _ blinks _ at Jaeyong until Yeonjun decides to snatch the phone out of his hands himself, much to Jaeyong’s dismay. 

“Is there anything else?” Yeonjun asks, shimmying closer to Soobin so that he can slip the phone into Soobin’s pocket. “Dimples and I were busy closing up the bakery."

After safely tucking it into his back pocket, Yeonjun begins to retract his hand but Soobin grabs it and holds on tightly behind his back.

It’s shaking.

“Have you lost your mouth, Soob?” Jaeyong pointedly stares daggers at Yeonjun but directs the question at Soobin. 

“No,” Soobin says after clearing his throat. “Thank you for returning my phone Jaeyong-ssi. Is there anything else?”

Yeonjun can still feel his hand shake but his voice is steady as he stares down Jaeyong. 

“I’ll see you around, Soob,” Is all Jaeyong says before leaving. 

Once his silhouette disappears from the window, Soobin lets out a noise and sags against Yeonjun.

“Why does he still have so much of me?” Soobin whispers into Yeonjun’s shoulder.

To that, Yeonjun can only squeeze his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so judging by popular opinion, everybody wants jaeyong dead (i fully agree).  
> are there any side characters you guys like? mine is beomgyu 100% and i have a soft spot for soobin's mum. anyway, i hope it was enjoyable for everybody!! see you all on monday ^^ <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fair warning: my beta reader hated this chapter LMAO sorry in advance ya'll.

**Chapter 8**

Yeonjun and Beomgyu rarely fight.

When they do it’s usually easily resolved and never deep enough to warrant space between the two. Yeonjun doesn’t think he’d be able to give Beomgyu space even if he wanted to.

Their fighting is often a result of Yeonjun’s reluctance to let Beomgyu help him. Be it with letting Beomgyu pay for lunch or helping Yeonjun out with groceries one week, Yeonjun usually refuses. 

It’s not because he’s prideful.

He’d love to accept the help Beomgyu so regularly offers.

It’s just that he already feels like Beomgyu does so much for him and he returns so little that he doesn’t want to add more to his load.

Yeonjun tries texting Beomgyu beforehand but to no avail so he ends up asking Soobin to drop him off at Beomgyu’s when they wrap up at the bakery. He figures he can just walk home after or ask his friend for a lift depending how late he ends up staying. 

With a cake in his hands, he buzzes the gate and waves Soobin goodbye once it opens for him. 

Beomgyu’s mother greets him at the door with her usual warm smile. 

“Ah Yeonjun! How are you? Let me call Gyu,” She ushers Yeonjun inside before yelling Beomgyu’s name. 

“He’ll be a moment, dear. He has another friend over, I think they were busy with something,” She tells Yeonjun, squeezing his shoulder before disappearing to the kitchen.

Yeonjun pauses at that.

Another friend?

Just then he sees Beomgyu walk downstairs, laughing with Taehyun trailing behind him. 

Beomgyu stops when he sees Yeonjun, his face twisting into something Yeonjun can’t decipher.

Taehyun is the first to greet him.

“Hyung!” He shouts from the staircase with a bright smile and wave. 

Yeonjun tries to give him a smile in return that doesn’t seem strained. “Hello Taehyun-ah.” 

“What are you doing here?” Beomgyu asks him, taking in his appearance slowly.

Yeonjun can’t say why all this feels distinctly wrong.

He shifts on his two feet uncomfortably. “I brought you cake,” Is all he manages to say. 

“Is your cut healing fine, Hyung?” Taehyun asks when Beomgyu doesn’t reply.

Yeonjun’s hand drifts to his cheek. Soobin had cleaned it and reapplied a bandaid just this morning.

“Oh. Yeah it is, Soobin helped a ton,” He turns to Beomgyu, ready to make a comment about having matching marks on their cheeks but the look on Beomgyu’s face stops him.

He eyes Yeonjun’s t-shirt- Soobin’s t-shirt, he corrects himself -before giving Yeonjun a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Thank you for the cake, Hyung. Was there anything else? Taehyun and I were in the middle of watching something.”

Yeonjun had planned on talking to Beomgyu about his mood yesterday over cake and an episode or two of that show he likes but right now, he can’t help but feel that Beomgyu doesn’t actually want him here. 

He sets the cake on the table and takes a step back. “No, that was it. I’ll text you later BG.” 

The walk home takes forever. 

Yeonjun doesn’t know what to do.

The image of Beomgyu’s forced smile keeps on worming its way into his brain. Beomgyu’s been transparent for as long as Yeonjun’s known him- it’s one of the reasons Yeonjun loves him. Even if Beomgyu doesn’t say what he’s feeling, Yeonjun can always tell by his actions or a simple look on his face. 

But just now, Yeonjun couldn’t tell what his friend was thinking. He had expected Beomgyu to be upset about the phone call but this feels like something more.

Maybe Beomgyu had recognized Soobin’s top and had gotten upset about that? If that’s the case, Yeonjun thinks it’s a little silly. If Beomgyu had given him time he could’ve explained everything, it’s not like he had done anything wrong. 

Whatever it is, it gnaws on Yeonjun’s anxiety all the way home. The house is empty when he gets there. His mother will probably only be back much later.

After getting ready for bed, Yeonjun flops to the bed and stares at the ceiling blankly.

His plan to make it up to Beomgyu falling through leaves him feeling strange and bothered.

Normally when he’s upset all it takes is a call to Beomgyu and the younger would have him laughing and distracted in minutes.

Now though…

He takes out his phone and stares at it for a long minute before dialing the number and putting the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” 

Yeonjun closes his eyes. He feels too weird about his encounter with Beomgyu to consider why the voice soothes his nerves so much. 

“Hello?” Soobin echoes. His voice comes softly from the other side of the phone.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” 

“Oh! No you didn’t, Junie,” There’s some shuffling and a click. “Is everything okay?”

Not really.

“Do you prefer vampires or werewolves?” Yeonjun asks.

“Werewolves,” Soobin answers without missing a beat. “They’re way cooler.”

Yeonjun scrunches his nose up. “One day we’re going to have to have a talk about your preferences. Vampires is the correct answer.” 

Soobin snorts. “Please, drinking blood for a living sound gross. Just say you have a biting kink and go.” 

Yeonjun laughs.

He flips onto his side and relaxes his body.

He doesn’t remember how long they talk for but he sits and listens in content to Soobin talk about his favourite TV shows (his attention span is too short for anything other than anime), his opinions on art (Yeonjun quickly learns that Picasso isn't as grand as history made him out to be) and what horror movies are actually worth watching (“Slashers are a classic but I prefer paranormal and psychological horrors,” Soobin had said).

Soon enough, his eyelids are heavy and he feels himself drifting to sleep.

The last thing he remembers hearing is Soobin whisper “Goodnight Junie.”

It’s almost as if Soobin is there with him, holding his pinky while he falls asleep 

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call Aunt Chae to stay with you while we’re gone BinBin?” 

“Ma,” Soobin whines as he looks at his mother. “I think I’m old enough to take care of myself.”

His mother pouts and flips the pancakes on the pan sadly. 

“You’ll always be our little baby Soobin-ah,” His dad tells him, placing three hot mugs of coffee on the table and takes a seat next to him. “Your mother’s just worried about you.”

Soobin heaves a big sigh and waits for his mum to sit down at the table. She places the stack of pancakes in front of them and he takes her hand, squeezing it tightly. “I’ll be okay. Really, Ma. It’s only for a week but if it would make you feel more comfortable you can ask Aunt Chae to check up on me sometime during the week.”

She brightens at that. “I think I’ll do just that.”

Soobin’s dad smiles and winks at him before he eats a forkful of pancakes.

When his parents leave for the bakery, Soobin makes his way to Kai’s house. He and Taehyun are also leaving for holiday together along with Kai’s family soon. Soobin was invited but he had forfeited the trip to look after the bakery for his parents.

He feels a little regretful as he watches Kai attempt to pack while Taehyun yells at him for being untidy.

“Are you not even going to fold them?” Taehyun watches in horror as Kai stuffs t-shirt after t-shirt into his suitcase, unbothered by the mess of it all.

“What’s the point if it’ll get ruffled when I wear it anyway?” Kai says in response just as he shoves his last t-shirt in.

Soobin smiles as he watches Taehyun scoff, throw his hands up and mutter angrily as he crouches down on the floor. He slaps Kai’s hands away.

“Leave it alone! I’ll do it,” Taehyun pulls all of the ruffled clothing out of the suitcase and begins repacking the bag.

Kai smirks and stands up, trying to keep himself from snickering as he takes a seat next to Soobin at the bay window.

“I wish you were coming with, Hyung,” He complains, wrapping Soobin in a sideways hug.

Soobin pats his back affectionately. He can’t believe Kai is so tall. He absentmindedly wonders if he’ll ever outgrow Soobin.

“Me too, but you’ll have lots of fun with Taehyunnie. You always do,” Soobin assures him.

“Now I’ll have to listen to him fawn over Beomgyu Hyung all alone,” Kai sighs.

Soobin feels rather than sees the socks hit him that Taehyun throws their way. 

Even though it’s soft, Soobin yelps. Just because he’s small doesn’t mean Taehyun isn’t strong. He’s beaten Soobin every single time they’ve played arm wrestling.

“Hyung if I don’t come back alive remember me as the angel I was,” Kai grips Soobin’s sleeve dramatically.

“You two,” Soobin groans, easing Kai’s grip on him. “There’s never a moment of peace.”

“You should be used to it by now,” Kai shrugs. “But also Taehyun Hyung has anger issues that he needs to sort out.”

The minute the words leave his lips, Kai immediately hides behind Soobin. Taehyun just glares at him from afar, packing Kai’s clothes a tad bit more aggressively than needed.

“Taehyun-ah, how are you feeling about Beomgyu?” Soobin decides to change the subject for Kai’s sake.

Taehyun averts his eyes and re-folds a pair of jeans. “Fine, I’m starting to move on.” 

If Taehyun’s reluctance to look him in the eye isn’t a giveaway that he is lying, Kai’s snort definitely is. 

Soobin narrows his eyes at Taehyun who in turn, turns his murderful gaze onto Kai who pointedly busies himself with his hands.

“Hey,” Soobin says, a little hurt. “What aren’t you telling me? How come Kai knows and not me?”

Taehyun stops packing and lets his head rest in his hands. “Because Kai won’t tell me I’m dumb.”

“That’s not fair, Taehyun-ah. You can’t _not_ tell me because you think I won’t-”

“I’m still hanging out with Beomgyu Hyung. Alone,” Taehyun tells him without looking up.

Soobin wants to eat his fist. “Erm. Well I know it’s your life but why would-”

“Just call me dumb Hyung,” Taehyun looks up at him miserably. “It’s true.”

Soobin purses his lips. “You’re not dumb. I just think it isn’t… smart of you. “

“I know.”

“So why do it?” Soobin gets up to sit on the floor with him and helps the younger resume his packing. “If you know it’s bad, why?”

“I don’t know,” Taehyun admits. “He’s been asking me to hang out more recently. As in more than when we had the project. I can’t say no to him, I’m just…”

Soobin sighs. “Charmed?”

“Whipped?” Kai suggests at the same time. 

“Yes,” Taehyun agrees. “To you, Hyung. Kai one more word out of you and I’m drowning you in the pool at the resort.”

Kai mimics ziplocking his lips. He leaves Taehyun and Soobin to talk and pulls out his phone to occupy himself instead.

Kai is easy to write off as oblivious and carefree but Soobin knows that there’s a lot more to him. He has two people packing his suitcase for him after all.

“Hyung, he’s just so…” Taehyun trails off and then lets out a frustrated noise. “YAH, why is this so difficult to explain? This is all so dumb dumb _dumb_.”

Soobin laughs and flicks his friend’s ear. “Relax Taehyun-ah, I know what you mean.”

Taehyun pulls at his hair. “He just calls me sometimes to talk, you know? And it doesn’t matter what he’s talking about, I just know I could listen to him for hours. Even if it’s about-”

He stops abruptly. “Even if it’s about nothing,” He continues lightly. “And when he asks me to hang out I know I should say no but I don’t want to.”

“Have you ever thought about confessing?” Soobin suggests, taking pity in the way his friend’s entire body seems to sag.

“No,” Taehyun quickly shuts him down. He finally zips Kai’s suitcase closed and looks up at Soobin. “It’s pointless.”

Soobin wants to ask him what makes him so sure that Beomgyu doesn’t like him, especially since Beomgyu sounds like he enjoys hanging out with Taehyun; but judging by the way Taehyun’s jaw is set, he probably won’t get an explanation.

An idea pops into Soobin’s mind and he files it away for later.

For now, he rests a hand on Taehyun’s shoulder and looks at him in what he hopes is a comforting manner. “Taehyun-ah, if you don’t want to tell him then you’re going to have to start distancing yourself, there’s no way around it.” 

Taehyun sulks and looks down at the floor. 

Sensing his presence is needed, Kai pads over to where the two of them sit and wraps Taehyun in a hug. Taehyun lets himself be engulfed in the embrace, almost disappearing into Kai. 

“When things ended with Jaeyong I nearly went back a lot,” Soobin thinks back, eyes on a random spot on the floor. “It’s difficult, I know what it’s like to like somebody so much that you don’t want to stay away from them,” He looks back at Taehyun who peeks out from Kai. “This week away will be good for you. Don’t text him and if he texts you, reply but don’t put too much effort into it. Kai, help him. Heartbreaks are difficult to get through on your own.”

Kai nods dutifully and rubs Taehyun’s back.

Thinking about Jaeyong reminds Soobin of the text he had received earlier from him. 

Soobin had deleted his number a while back but when he got his phone back just the other day, he saw that it was saved again. This time with a heart emoji next to it. Jaeyong must have done it when he had Soobin’s phone.

The text just said that he wanted to talk things out with Soobin.

Soobin flinches at the thought.

“Hyung?” Taehyun’s muffled voice brings him back to his friends. 

Soobin forces a smile. “It’ll be okay.” 

He doesn’t know who he’s reassuring.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Both Soobin’s parents and Kai and Taehyun leave the next day. Since he said goodbye to Kai and Taehyun the day before, he sees his parents out.

Even though it’s just for a week, his mother still gets tearful when she hugs him.

After a lot of reassurance, he manages to get her into the car where his dad waits patiently and watches them drive off. He waits until the car disappears beyond the horizon before putting his hands in his pockets and heading back inside.

He told Yeonjun he’d be late for the shift today because of seeing his parents off so he quickly makes his way to the bakery after changing to prevent the older from waiting any further.

It seems that both of them are distracted today because they don’t say much to each other for the entirety of the shift.

Soobin doesn’t know what the older is thinking about but his own mind keeps drifting to the text Jaeyong had sent him.

Why did he want to meet with Soobin all of a sudden? It’s been months, he can’t think of anything Jaeyong would want with him. Soobin’s sure he's moved onto his next target by now.

“There’s not going to be anything left if you continue mixing like that,” Yeonjun points out.

Soobin blinks down at the bowl containing the brownie mix. He didn’t even realize he had been mixing it so aggressively.

“Something wrong?” Yeonjun asks, walking over from where he was taking inventory to Soobin. 

“No,” Soobin replies quickly. Upon seeing the unconvinced look on Yeonjun’s face he sighs. “Kinda. I think so. I’m not sure.”

Yeonjun stands beside him and eases Soobin’s grip on the whisk. 

His hands are warm. 

He makes a motion for Soobin to continue speaking. Soobin allows him to take control of mixing and runs a hand through his hair. He’s gotten so much better at baking since he first started. 

“Jaeyong texted me.” 

At that, Yeonjun’s face wrinkles in disgust but doesn’t say anything.

“He wants to meet up with me,” Soobin continues, unsure of the older’s reaction.

“Oh?” Yeonjun replies, sounding thoroughly unimpressed.

“Oh,” Soobin agrees, now completely confused by Yeonjun’s reaction.

Yeonjun gives the batter one last whisk before setting the bowl down and looks at Soobin. “So? What are you going to do?”

Soobin glances away from Yeonjun’s intense gaze. “I don’t know.”

Yeonjun frowns. “Do you _want_ to meet up with him?”

“No,” He says, taking a second too long to answer.

Yeonjun scoffs. “Liar.”

He returns to the pantry and leaves Soobin with the batter. 

Soobin shakes his head and focuses on finishing the brownies instead.

But he’s become so used to talking to Yeonjun that he finds he can’t stop himself from saying something. 

“Hey what should I wear to your dad’s thing?” He asks as they clean up, preparing to close. “If you still want me to come,” He rushes to add when he sees the momentary confused look on Yeonjun’s face.

Yeonjun shrugs. “I could use the company if you’re up for it but fair warning, my dad’s annoying so the theme is creative black tie. You can’t just wear your normal hoodie and sweatpants.”

“You sound like Lea,” Soobin mutters to himself as he wipes the counter top. 

Yeonjun pays him no mind. 

“What is creative black tie?” He asks after Yeonjun doesn’t say anything.

“No clue,” Yeonjun admits.

“Well what are you wearing?”

“Also no clue.”

Soobin looks at him in disbelief. 

“Look Dimples,” Yeonjun says, sounding extremely tired as he leans on the broomstick. “My stepmom usually makes my clothing for all these events my dad forces me to attend. I usually just wait for her to deliver it to me the day before so I really don’t know.”

“Oh.”

The party suddenly feels all too fancy for a baker boy who lives in sweatpants.

“Don’t worry about it too much,” Yeonjun interrupts his thoughts as he continues to sweep. “You look good in anything so it won’t matter. Just don’t wear sneakers or my dad will throw a hissy fit.”

Soobin thinks that people should not be allowed to say things without a concrete explanation.

What does Yeonjun mean that he looks good in anything? Where did he come up with that?

“Where did Taehyun and Kai go?” Yeonjun asks, completely oblivious of the questions zooming around in Soobin’s brain.

“Some resort in the mountains,” Soobin answers a little distractedly. “What about Beomgyu?”

At the mention of his friend, Yeonjun falters. 

“He didn’t give details,” He eventually settles on saying. “Why do you want to see Jaeyong?”

Soobin doesn’t know how to explain to Yeonjun that he doesn’t actually want to see Jaeyong but a part of him is painfully curious as to what he could want. Soobin had always been the one to crawl back to him with little prompt, having Jaeyong approach after all this time has him feeling confused.

In the end Soobin goes with an answer that feels most right. “It feels like he’s different now.”

“You want to get back together with him?” 

“No!” Soobin yells. Then, more calmly, “No, I don’t have an interest in getting back together with him. I just… feel like something is different now.”

Yeonjun doesn’t look convinced but shrugs. “How’s Taehyun doing? Heartbreak getting any better?”

Soobin resists the urge to frown.

Why is he asking about Taehyun so much?

“He’s making bad decisions,” Soobin waves his hand dismissively. “But he’ll be fine soon, I think the break will do him good.” 

Yeonjun’s question reminds Soobin of an idea he had earlier. He clears his throat and focuses on wiping a random spot on the table.

“So Beomgyu,” Soobin says nonchalantly.

Yeonjun throws a confused look at him but continues sweeping. 

Soobin wracks his brain to figure out a way to ask what he wants subtly. 

“Is he with somebody?” 

“Like right now?” Yeonjun scratches his head. “Probably his parents.”

“I mean,” Soobin tries his hardest to not sound annoyed. “Is he, like, seeing somebody?”

“Beomgyu doesn’t have a therapist,” Yeonjun shakes his head. “But if you’re talking about hallucinations then you’ll have to ask him yourself, he hasn’t mentioned it before.” 

Soobin’s about to scream.

He thought Yeonjun was smart.

He lets out an irritated huff, ready to call the older dense but stops when he gets a look at Yeonjun’s face.

_He’s doing it on purpose._

His face is carefully blank but Soobin can see the challenge in his eyes.

A challenge Soobin will not end up winning.

He sighs. “Is Beomgyu-ah dating anybody?”

Yeonjun raises his eyebrows. “Who’s asking?”

Soobin hesitates. Telling Yeonjun that it’s for Taehyun would make it less complicated but Soobin isn’t sure his friend would appreciate Soobin ratting him out like that. He’s also not sure if Yeonjun would keep it a secret considering how close he and Beomgyu seem to be. 

“Does it matter?” Soobin chooses to ask.

Yeonjun stares at Soobin for a long moment before responding. “Beomgyu isn’t dating anybody.”

Soobin perks up. “Does he like somebody?”

“Last I checked, yes.” 

Soobin knows he’s pushing it but he decides to take the chance anyway. “Do I know them?”

Yeonjun snorts but Soobin waits hopefully.

When Yeonjun realizes that Soobin hasn’t given up, he frowns. “What is this, twenty questions? Ask him yourself if you’re so interested.”

“You don’t have to be rude about it,” Soobin mumbles.

The two of them work in silence until it’s finally time to close up. Soobin doesn’t know why he feels deflated when Yeonjun declines his offer to take him home but he finds himself thinking about the short interaction on the way to his house.

“Are you sure? It isn’t a problem,” He had double checked with Yeonjun.

“I’m sure,” Yeonjun had told him again. “Besides, I like walking. See you tomorrow.” 

And with a simple wave he had left Soobin standing alone in the bakery. 

Maybe it was the awkward goodbye or the thought of going home to an empty house or the lack of Taehyun and Kai to tell him he was making a bad decision. 

Whatever Soobin decides to blame, he ends up texting Jaeyong back who wastes no time responding. 

_I’m glad you texted me back, Soob. Of course I’d like to meet up. Where?_

Soobin thinks about it for a long while before telling Jaeyong to meet him at his house.

He doesn’t have energy to go anywhere else and his anxiety about the meet up won’t allow him to be in a place that has a lot of noise and watchful eyes. 

The house is abnormally quiet when he steps through the door. Usually, he’d come home to his mum and dad cooking up something. If not cooking, mum would either be playing music while she did admin or dad would be yelling over the phone about some incomplete order.

Soobin switches the TV on to ease his nerves and for some background noise as he waits for Jaeyong to arrive. 

He tries to sit down at first but his leg doesn’t stop bouncing so he paces up and down.

He bites his lip before taking his phone out.

Kai had texted him a picture of him and Taehyun hanging out at a fancy looking pool earlier. Soobin hadn’t responded to it yet but he quickly drops a text to their group to distract him. He puts his phone down and walks to the fridge to pour a tall glass of water. He chugs the entire thing and still feels parched but his phone pings so he goes back to answer it. Instead of Taehyun and Kai though, it’s Jaeyong telling him that he’s outside.

Soobin reads the message about ten times before it actually registers and he straightens up, moving to the door and opens up.

Jaeyong stands there with a white packet that smells suspiciously like takeout food. 

“Hey Soob, I brought dinner. I hope you haven’t eaten yet.”

Soobin stares at him.

“Erm, Soobin-ah? Everything okay?” Jaeyong tilts his head in question.

Soobin snaps out of his daze. “Yes! Sorry, come in.”

He opens the door a little more and stands to the side to allow Jaeyong enough space to walk through.

“Sounds awfully quiet,” Jaeyong notes, placing the food on the tabletop and shrugging off his jacket.

“My parents are gone away for the week for a short holiday. I stayed to look after the bakery,” Soobin explains, taking a seat next to Jaeyong making sure that there’s enough space between them.

Jaeyong and Soobin only hung out at each other’s house so Soobin’s parents know him well. He can’t say for sure what Jaeyong’s parents thought he was to the boy but Soobin’s parents know Jaeyong all too well and probably wouldn’t approve of him sitting in their living room. 

_Well, good thing they aren’t here_ , Soobin thinks. 

“Oh I see,” Jaeyong says in a tone Soobin can’t quite catch.

“You didn’t have to bring dinner,” Soobin eyes the packets as Jaeyong begins taking out the food.

Jaeyong shrugs. “I wanted to.”

He hands Soobin a wrap and takes one for himself. 

“I asked them to not go crazy on the chili with yours,” He points out to Soobin before taking a bite out of his.

Soobin’s tolerance for spice has gone up significantly since Jaeyong but he thanks Jaeyong anyway and takes a bite out of his wrap too.

He ends up liking it more than he thought he would and even though the conversation starts off a little awkwardly, it picks up and Soobin finds himself talking to Jaeyong normally. 

Soobin almost forgets that they were meant to talk about something.

“Jaeyong-ssi,” He says when he comes back after throwing the paper bags and plastic cutlery away.

“Why don’t you call me Hyung anymore?” Jaeyong jokes, nudging Soobin. “Better yet, what happened to Jae?”

Soobin winces at the mention of his nickname for Jaeyong.

“Why did you wanna speak to me?” Soobin asks, dodging Jaeyong’s question that he doesn’t have an answer to. 

Jaeyong pouts and scoots closer to Soobin, taking his hands. “I miss you, Soob. I don’t like how things ended between us.” 

Soobin remembers the way it ended very clearly.

As always, it had been Jaeyong to call their thing off. Soobin thought that this time, it would be different. He would let Jaeyong know that he was done being toyed with and wouldn’t be the one to crawl back to him. Jaeyong would come back soon enough.

Except he didn’t. 

First, only a few days had passed without any word from Jaeyong. Then days became weeks and weeks became months.

And all at once, Jaeyong didn’t come back. 

Soobin had played himself. 

He cried more than he’s proud of. It only hit him after a month that he meant nothing to Jaeyong in the long run. Soobin had stopped eating and sleeping to the point where his parents were worried about him. He couldn’t understand how somebody who he gave so much of himself to had managed to cut him off so easily.

When Soobin had bumped into him by chance when he was out one day, Jaeyong had merely pretended not to know him. 

It was a good thing he had found Taehyun and Kai soon after.

He doesn’t know where he’d be without them.

“Look, Soob,” Jaeyong says, squeezing his hands to urge Soobin to look into his eyes. “I was so stupid back then. I didn’t realize how awful I was.”

“You just left me,” Soobin whispers. “You never came back. I waited.” 

“I know Soobin-ah, but I’m here now,” Jaeyong places his hand on Soobin’s chin and part of him knows that he shouldn’t cave in so quickly. 

But Soobin’s always been easy to convince.

He wants to believe the best of people.

Maybe it’s this that makes him stay put when Jaeyong leans in.

This, and maybe because he can’t stop hearing a stupid voice in his head asking about Taehyun that he lets Jaeyong kiss him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well.  
> i'm sorry (kinda) but i think everybody will enjoy the next chapter better!!  
> as always thank you again for all the lovely comments. i also love reading where you guys think the story is going so drop your theories below if you'd like. we're also halfway through the story now aha :<  
> but anyway- hope you enjoyed, see ya'll on friday and have a good week <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it seems i greatly underestimated how much you all would hate the last chapter 🗿  
> take this as a peace offering instead- hope you all enjoy <3

**Chapter 9**

Here’s something Soobin doesn’t tell everybody: he’s a sucker for romance. He pretends to hate it, gags whenever Kai and Taehyun choose to watch a romcom and rolls his eyes when his dad tells him the same old cheesy story of how he fell in love with his mother.

Secretly, he’s a sucker for them. 

He loves the stupid cliché scenes in movies where there’s a big miscommunication and the boy rushes to the airport and passes security just to get his girl and make up for the problems he caused.  He’s cried more than once at the cheesy monologues the protagonist gives about how they fucked up the first time and promise to treat their love interest better.

It might be because of this that he held onto Jaeyong for so long and why he let the other kiss him a few days ago.

Jaeyong had been the only person to ever express interest in him and Soobin clung to that. 

It didn’t matter that Jaeyong would only hold his hand in private or that he’d kiss Soobin mostly when he was drunk and alone. It didn’t matter that he pretended to not know Soobin in public and that he’d openly be with somebody else because Jaeyong would pitch up outside Soobin’s door one day with his favourite flowers and apologize for everything and it would be  _ fine _ .

But it never ended up like that.

Soobin left Jaeyong and he never ended up coming back like the books and movies said he would.

All at once, Soobin had lost the only person who had ever liked him.

So yeah, maybe Soobin was stupid for letting Jaeyong kiss him but he wanted to feel wanted by somebody. 

Ultimately the kiss did more bad than good because Soobin finds the unwanted sadness creeping up on him the next day.

The problem with playing dead when he’s sad is that if nobody is there to help snap him out of it, Soobin simply just won’t do anything. 

So when he finds himself in his familiar slump during the week, he simply stays at home.

He should be going to the bakery to help Yeonjun with work but when his alarm rings, Soobin just lets it sound until he grows tired of the noise and turns his phone off altogether.

Maybe it was irresponsible of him.

His mother would be stressed and Taehyun and Kai would think something’s wrong, not to mention he promised to be present the entire week to look over the bakery in place of his parents.  But none of this registers in his brain as he rewatches the same old  _ Betty Boop _ cartoons from the 30’s for the thousandth time and tries to draw his favourite frames.

One day passes and Soobin’s barely moved a muscle or eaten anything.

He would’ve probably stayed like that for the entire week if on Tuesday, he didn’t hear the doorbell ring.

It rings insistently too but all Soobin does is turn up the volume on his laptop. He isn’t expecting anybody and if his parents had a delivery planned they would’ve told him. If it was Jaeyong then… well, it would be good if he just left until Soobin sorted through the mess that is his head.

Eventually the ringing stops. 

Soobin’s only thankful because it was annoying his ears. 

Turns out he doesn’t have peace for long though because just then, he hears rapping on his window.

He startles and waits a few seconds to see if it stops but when it’s clear whoever has no intentions of such, he drags himself to the window and opens the blinds.

Yeonjun stands on the other side squinting through the window. 

“Open up will you?” He shouts.

It takes Soobin about a minute to comprehend what he’s asking.

As if he’s moving in slowmo, Soobin reaches across and opens the window wide.

“I meant the door, Dimples,” Yeonjun says as he climbs through the window with slight difficulty. “But thank you.”

He looks around and takes in the state of Soobin’s room. Scattered papers, pencil shavings on the bed, clothes strewn over the floor…

“I thought you died,” Is all he says when he meets Soobin’s eyes. 

The image of Yeonjun standing in his room in this moment seems so unreal to Soobin for a reason he can’t explain that all he can do is stare at the older in response.

Yeonjun opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by Soobin’s stomach rumbling. 

He frowns and asks, “When last did you eat?” To which Soobin can only shrug.

“Okay,” Yeonjun bounces on the balls of his feet, thinking for a moment before he speaks next. “Lay down, I’m going to make food for you.”

When Soobin doesn’t respond, Yeonjun guides him to the bed and sits him down.

“Be back soon,” Yeonjun promises.

Again, Soobin doesn’t have much of a response and merely watches Yeonjun disappear out of his room. He doesn’t ask what the older plans to make or how he’ll find everything he needs to cook.

He just lays down like he’s been doing the past two days and waits. 

It probably doesn’t even take Yeonjun that long to return with a steaming bowl of ramen but it feels like an eternity before he seats himself on the bed next to Soobin. 

When Soobin makes no move to take the bowl, Yeonjun takes Soobin’s hands and places them on the bowl himself to make him hold it.

“Please,” Yeonjun insists. “You have to eat.”

He holds Soobin’s hands there until Soobin picks up the chopsticks Yeonjun brought and eats a mouthful of the ramen. 

Initially, he was only going to eat one mouthful just to get Yeonjun off his back. But once he swallows, he realizes just how hungry he’s been the past two days and begins to inhale the rest of the ramen.  Yeonjun lets him eat in peace and gets to work tidying up Soobin’s room a little, opening the blinds just a little- because it’s nearing night time -and picking up crumpled drawings to pack them away.

“I ran a bath for you,” Yeonjun tells him, taking the bowl away from Soobin once he’s done and helping him get up.

Soobin stops at the door and looks at Yeonjun in slight panic.

“I’m not going to leave,” Yeonjun assures him quietly. “I’m waiting right here I promise.”

With that, he gently pushes Soobin through the bathroom door and shuts it.

When Soobin gets a good look at himself in the mirror he nearly cries.

He looks terrible.

His hair is a rat’s nest, the bags under his eyes are a whole shade darker than his normal skin tone and just overall, he looks awful.

No wonder Yeonjun wants him to bath.

It’s slow work because everything about him feels sluggish but Soobin bathes and makes sure to run water through his hair in a weak attempt to make it look less crusty. 

While he cleans up it occurs to him that he hasn’t said a single thing to Yeonjun since he arrived outside Soobin’s window.

He probably should.

But what?

Sorry I abandoned you and the bakery? 

Sorry you have to baby me?

Sorry for annoying you the other day?

Sorry I’m inexplicably sad and can’t give you much?

He doesn’t come up with an answer by the time he exits the bathroom in a fresh set of pjs.

As promised, Yeonjun is sitting on his bed looking through Soobin’s sketchbook.

He stands up when Soobin walks toward him.

“Feeling a little better?” He asks and reaches up to pat down Soobin’s damp hair. 

And surprisingly, Soobin does.

He still would rather not move and pretend as if he doesn’t exist but he does feel significantly better than yesterday.

Soobin nods in response and Yeonjun smiles. “I’ll come check on you tomorrow after work, okay?”

He turns around ready to leave but Soobin catches his hand in a panic.

He can’t be alone, not now.

But how does he tell Yeonjun that? He hasn’t even said hello to him. 

Yeonjun looks down at Soobin’s hand and then back up at Soobin. He searches Soobin’s face for a minute while Soobin tries his best to plead with him to stay using his eyes.

_ Don’t leave, please. _

It must work because Yeonjun eases his grip gently. “Let me get ready for bed okay? I’ll be back in a minute.” 

He leaves Soobin standing there and rushes to the bathroom, clicking the door shut behind him.

Soobin stays put, unsure of what to do with himself and feeling very childish that he has to have somebody take care of him like this. It’s like he wants to do things on his own but his body doesn’t see the point in it.  He doesn’t know how long he would’ve stayed in bed like that if Yeonjun hadn’t forced his way into the house.

He thinks about this as he lays in bed next to Yeonjun who he’s sure isn’t asleep but his eyes still remain closed.

Looking at his face now, relaxed and at ease, Soobin can’t believe how he had thought the older was so awful once upon a time.

Here he is, taking care of Soobin when he doesn’t even know what’s wrong. He hadn’t asked Soobin a single question, simply helped him freshen up and got him to eat. 

Before he knows it, tears are streaming down his face.

He wants to scream because it’s so _pathetic_. 

Soobin doesn’t even know why and that’s what’s frustrating to him. What’s there to be sad about?

He doesn’t know but now he can’t stop crying.

Yeonjun’s eyes fly open.

“Ah, Dimples,” He murmurs. “Come here…” 

Soobin feels Yeonjun’s hands reach for him in the dark and Soobin reaches for them like a lifeline.

The older wraps his arms around Soobin and pulls him close so that Soobin’s head rests on his chest.

This is the second time Soobin’s cried on Yeonjun, he dimly notes.

Why is he so sensitive? He would kill to have a brain that doesn’t make his life unnecesarily difficult. 

The thought only makes him cry harder.

Yeonjun just holds him tighter and cards through Soobin’s hair slowly, twirling a few strands here and there absently. 

Soobin tries to speak once or twice but all that comes out are whimpers.

“It’s okay,” Yeonjun assures him, his other hand tracing circles on Soobin’s back. “You don’t have to say anything, I get it.”

Soobin doesn’t know how Yeonjun gets it when he himself doesn’t, but Soobin can tell Yeonjun means what he says by the way he holds Soobin tightly. 

Eventually, he grows tired of crying and falls asleep soundly in Yeonjun’s arms.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Soobin wakes up alone.

His first thought is that he hallucinated last night because of his lack of food or if he hadn’t, Yeonjun probably left him because Soobin is just that insufferable.

Both of these turn out to not be true.

After sitting up and finding no sign of Yeonjun in the room, he gets up to wash his face and brush his teeth.  When he comes back, his eyes catch on a sticky note on the bedside table with Yeonjun’s familiar messy handwriting on it. 

_ Had to go to work, will be back later tonight. Text your mum + Taehyun and Kai, they sound worried. _

Soobin flops to the bed and massages his temples. His head is sore, probably from all the crying, and he has no interest in turning his phone on to be bombarded with messages.  Considering that it’s inevitable, he grabs it anyway and switches it on. He waits patiently for it to turn on and his jaw drops when he sees the time.

It’s already past noon.

How long had he been sleeping for?

He looks outside his blinds, only half closed with the windows open (probably Yeonjun’s doing), and sees that it’s cloudy. He had mistaken the stormy looking weather for the early morning sky.  His phone’s buzzing calls his attention back and he looks down to see his notifications blow up.  With a sigh, he unlocks his phone and goes straight to his messages. There are almost 20 from mum alone, 3 from his dad and around 15 on his group chat with Taehyun and Kai.

There’s also a text from Yeonjun asking him where he is from yesterday and… a text from Jaeyong. Soobin archives it to deal with later and decides to deal with his parents first.

He dials his mother’s number first and braces himself for the scolding he’s about to receive.

She picks up immediately.

“I’m sorry for not texting you!” He rushes to apologize before his mother begins her yelling. “I was just sick.”

“THAT ISN’T AN EXCUSE CHOI SOOBIN I WAS WORRIED _SICK_ -”

His mother’s voice goes slightly softer and his dad’s voice drowns it out. “Soobin,” His voice is more serious than it usually is. “You know how your mother worries about you. You should have texted something.”

Soobin grips his phone in guilt. “I know dad, I’m really sorry. I don’t have an excuse, all I can do is promise it won’t happen again.”

Soobin hears a deep sigh over the receiving end of the phone. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Yes,” It’s not the truth but it’s not a lie either- he is feeling sort of better, just not fully. He doesn’t want to stress his parents out further than he already has.

“Okay, Soobin-ah. Take care, your mother will cool down soon enough. Text her in an hour or two okay? We love you.” 

Soobin swallows the lump in his throat. “I love you too, dad.”

He allows himself five minutes to regain his composure before he tackles Taehyun and Kai next.

Neither of them are upset, just worried. Soobin spends an hour with the two on a group video call. Taehyun’s hair is now brown instead of it’s faded red and Kai looks a tad bit sunburnt, his nose peeling just slightly.

Soobin doesn’t tell them about Jaeyong.

He doesn’t want to explain it to them (or anybody) until he decides for himself what to do.

He takes a deep breath and goes to Jaeyong’s message at last. All it asks is when they’re meeting up next. 

It’s not like he expected anything else but Soobin still reads the message five times over before locking his phone again.

What are the chances he’s changed?

The smart part of Soobin knows that it’s very slim.

But the other part, the stronger part that wants to be wanted, doesn’t care and worries about pushing away the only person who’s ever liked him again. 

He tosses his phone to the side and pulls his hair in frustration. He’ll deal with it later.

For now…

He surveys his room.

Yeonjun did a good job of tidying his room but he can only imagine how the rest of the house looks.

He spends the rest of the day cleaning up the house.  His mother would have another stroke if she came back to see what a state it’s in.  He’s just about finished everything by sundown and hops into the shower after to wash all the grime off of him.

Imagine his shock when he walks out of the bathroom expecting his bedroom to be empty only to find Yeonjun sitting on his bed, casually scrolling through his phone.

“WAH,” Soobin yelps and instinctively covers his chest with his hands.

Yeonjun looks up. 

He takes in Soobin’s appearance, fresh out of the shower with only a towel covering his lower body, and says, “Hello.”

Soobin looks at him in disbelief, his arms still trying their best to cover as much of his upper body as they can. “What are you doing?”

“Well,” Yeonjun scratches the back of his head as he drags his eyes up from Soobin’s chest to his eyes. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be out of bed by the time I came home so I kind of just took your key when I left for the bakery in case.”

It’s a valid reason. 

Soobin blinks, trying to think of something to say but Yeonjun beats him to it.

He clears his throat and looks away, the tips of his ears only slightly pink. “You should put something on.”

“Right,” Soobin walks over to his closet and pulls open the door and his drawers.

“Are you feeling any better?” Yeonjun asks.

“I guess,” Soobin pulls on a pair of pants and grabs a pair of socks. “Better than yesterday anyway.”

After slipping a t-shirt on, he checks himself out in the mirror and catches Yeonjun staring at him. 

“At least,” Yeonjun says lightly, looking away quickly. 

Soobin shuts his cupboard doors and walks back to Yeonjun and sits next to him. 

He’s spent the entire day thinking of ways he’d say thank you to Yeonjun for taking care of him yesterday but all that comes out of his mouth as he sits next to him now is, “Are you, uh, staying over again?”

Yeonjun fiddles with his fingers when he answers. “Well I was but if you’re feeling better I can go-”

“You can stay,” Soobin rushes to say. “If you want, I mean. I was going to ask you to stay for dinner anyway. Your ramen is surprisingly good and I can't cook.”

Yeonjun narrows his eyes accusingly at Soobin. “Surprisingly,” He repeats.

Soobin throws his hands up. “Look, I’ve seen you bake and I wasn’t confident, okay.” 

Yeonjun rolls his eyes and stands up, offering his hand to Soobin. “Baking and cooking are two very different things.” 

Soobin accepts his hand and stands up too. “I’ll agree because I want more ramen.”

He watches Yeonjun stir the pot full of ramen a little later with curiosity. It smells so good that Soobin’s stomach tugs just looking at it.

“Is ramen the only thing you can cook?” Soobin asks.

Yeonjun shakes his head. “I’m no chef but I can make a fair amount of dishes.”

Soobin raises his eyebrows, impressed. “Really? Who taught you?”

Yeonjun peers into the pot and gives it three more stirs before switching the stove off. “Myself.”

“No help from mum?” Soobin jokes.

Yeonjun stills for a moment before shaking his head. He seems to think carefully before he speaks next, “My mother doesn’t have time to cook because of work, more so when I was growing up. I had to learn so we could both eat.”

Every time he speaks to Yeonjun, Soobin is reminded of how he doesn’t know much about Yeonjun’s personal life.

What’s he supposed to say to that?

“Well if your other cooking is as good as your ramen your mother is very lucky,” Soobin settles on saying.

A smile tugs on the corner of Yeonjun’s lips as he pours their food into two bowls. 

They head back to Soobin’s room with their food and seat themselves comfortably on his bed. Soobin flips open his laptop to scroll through some titles on Netflix so they can watch something while they eat.

“Do you mind if we watch the new episode of this anime? We don’t have to but I just haven’t gotten around to-”

“Put it on, Dimples,” Yeonjun intervenes after slurping some noodles. “I don’t mind, promise.”

Soobin doubts but is too curious about the episode he’s put off watching for so long to argue so he finds it and clicks play. 

For the most part they watch in silence, save for the clanking of their chopsticks against the bowls and the sound of the noodles being slurped up. Now and then Yeonjun asks a question or two and Soobin pauses to explain patiently to him.

When the episode finishes- along with their ramen -Yeonjun is the one who clicks the next episode. 

It’s only about halfway through the episode that Soobin realizes he hasn’t been paying attention to the show for a while now.

He keeps on getting distracted by little things. Like the laptop screen reflecting on Yeonjun’s face and painting it different shades of reds and blues. Like the way his hair falls just onto his eyes and how he constantly has to brush it away to see the screen. Like the way Soobin can still smell the mint on him even after all the ramen they ate. 

Yeonjun shifts so that he’s laying down more comfortably and Soobin glances down. Their hands are right next to each other.

_ He has pretty hands _ , Soobin notes. 

Not too big like Soobin always thought of his own hands.

Just the right size.

All at once, Soobin wants to touch him.

Nothing weird or creepy. He just wants to trace the shape of Yeonjun’s hands slowly, feel the steady pulse on his wrist and connect the lines on his palms to each other.

_ Stop _ , Soobin scolds himself.

_ Focus on the show _ .

And he really does try for the most part. 

But Yeonjun shifts a little so that his head rests on Soobin’s shoulder and,  _ oh my God _ , their hands are touching now too. Their pinkies barely brush but  _ God, _ Soobin just wants to hold his hand.

It’s not like it would be any different from holding Kai and Taehyun’s hands right? He always holds their hands, never thinking twice about it. 

He could do it, that’s what friends do.

But he stays completely still. 

Soobin risks a glance at Yeonjun only to find that the older is already looking at him.

Now he has to say something.

Soobin blurts the first thing that comes to his head. “Are you enjoying it?”

Yeonjun raises his eyebrows in question.

“The show, I mean,” Soobin blushes furiously, hoping Yeonjun doesn’t focus too much on his cheeks.

Yeonjun glances to the laptop screen and then down at their hands. 

In a movement that’s so swift Soobin barely registers that it happens, Yeonjun flips Soobin’s hand over so that his palm faces up and interlocks their fingers together.

“Yeah,” He says and rubs his thumb gently over Soobin’s. “I’m enjoying it quite a lot.” 

They stay like that for the rest of the show, and the one they watch after that and when Soobin thinks Yeonjun will let go when they sleep he’s mistaken. He’s floating in and out of consciousness when he feels Yeonjun’s fingertips. This time, Soobin is the one who takes Yeonjun’s hand in his.

He does it instinctively, like his hand was meant just to hold Yeonjun’s. 

He doesn’t let himself think about what it means.

He just knows that he really likes holding Yeonjun’s hand.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Soobin almost forgets that he still doesn’t have an outfit for Yeonjun’s dad’s birthday.

When he wakes up the next day, alone again because Yeonjun has to go to the bakery, he’s only reminded about it when he receives a text from Taehyun asking if he’s found something yet.  In a panic, he calls his friend who picks up the phone after a few rings.

“I don’t know what to wear,” Soobin groans into the phone as he frantically searches through his cupboard. 

“Hyung,” Taehyun exasperates. “I thought you said you were going to shop on Tuesday or something to find something.”

“Well,” Soobin says, knee deep in clothing. “Things don’t always go as planned.”

Soobin hears splashing in the background and a noise that sounds distinctly like a dolphin.

Taehyun sighs. “One moment, Hyung.”

He holds the phone away but Soobin can still hear him yell at Kai to stop splashing him or else Taehyun will drown him.

“Anyway,” Taehyun says to Soobin again. “You can still go shopping today.”

“I guess,” Soobin flops onto the mountain of clothes he threw on the floor. “But I don’t even know what to look for, like what the fuck is creative black tie?” 

“Beats me, Hyung. I don’t speak rich. Kai come say hello to Soobin Hyung, he sounds stressed,” Taehyun calls.

And Taehyun’s strategy works for the most part. Talking to Huening Kai calms him down and the younger makes him laugh more than he has in the past few days. But when the phone call ends, Soobin still doesn’t know what to do. 

He stares down at the message Jaeyong sent him.

Jaeyong might be many things but one thing Soobin can’t fault him on is his sense of style. 

Soobin sighs and dials the number.

If they meet up in the mall it can double up as killing two birds with one stone- Jaeyong helps him find something decent and he gets to be in a public space with Jaeyong to talk things out. Emphasis on public because that way, Soobin won’t be able to do anything dumb.

Jaeyong agrees to meet Soobin at the mall and sounds more than pleased to help him out.

Soobin keeps the details vague and hopes Jaeyong doesn’t ask any further questions. He doesn’t remember much from the party but based on the way Yeonjun had scowled at the mention of Jaeyong’s name, Soobin gathers that the encounter probably didn’t go well.

They meet a little before lunch outside a fancy looking shop Soobin has never been to before. 

“Ah, I’m glad that you called Soob,” Jaeyong greets him, giving Soobin a quick hug.

“Thank you for agreeing to help,” Soobin thanks him with an awkward smile.

Jaeyong waves his hand dismissively. “Don’t even mention it, always ready to help. Come on,” Jaeyong hooks his arm through Soobin’s and pulls him into the fancy store.

It’s very sleek inside with dark ebony floors and complementary brown walls. Every other wall has a glass box with a mannequin in a fancy suit in it so that a circle of mannequins stare at Soobin when he walks in.

The front desk is empty and Jaeyong walks to it but gestures for Soobin to sit down on one of the leather sofas. “Give me a moment,” Jaeyong assures him before disappearing into the back room.

Soobin takes his time surveying the suits that he sees on the mannequins and vaguely wonders what Yeonjun will be wearing.

Thinking about Yeonjun immediately causes Soobin’s cheeks to burn.

He had held Yeonjun’s hand throughout the night and at one point, Yeonjun had even tugged him closer so that Soobin was pressed to his side and his head rested on Yeonjun’s chest. 

“You’re being dumb,” Soobin mutters to himself. 

There’s nothing to think about. Yeonjun is just a friend.

Soobin’s seen how he acts with Beomgyu. He’s always holding onto the younger and Soobin’s even spotted Beomgyu wearing Yeonjun’s clothing more than once.  Soobin has also held Taehyun and Huening Kai’s hand more than once and when they sleep they almost always share the same bed if they can help it.  So really, there’s nothing special between the two. This is all just a result from kissing Jaeyong and projecting onto the closest person who shows him the slightest bit of kindness.

“Soobin-ah!” 

Soobin turns his head to see Jaeyong standing in the doorway that leads to the back room.

“Come here,” He beckons Soobin.

Soobin shoves thoughts of Yeonjun out of his mind and follows Jaeyong to the back room.

It’s not all that different from the front with the exception that one wall is made up entirely of floor to ceiling mirrors. Several suits and tuxedos hang on racks pushed to the side that a short, stout man files through.

“Minhyung-ssi,” Jaeyong calls out to him. The man swivels around. “This is Soobin-ah.”

The man who calls himself Minhyung gasps and claps his hands together in what seems to be excitement. “Oh a tall fellow!”

“Uh,” Soobin looks to Jaeyong who shrugs. “I’m only six foot.”

“The perfect height!” He exclaims and hurries over to Soobin. He pulls Soobin onto the podium that stands in front of the wall of mirrors.  Soobin tries to look elsewhere but his reflection catches his eyes wherever he moves his head. He settles on looking at the floor at his feet.

“Soob, this is Minhyung-ssi, our family tailor. He can find you something for tomorrow,” Jaeyong pats Soobin’s shoulder reassuringly.

It ends up taking Soobin longer than he thought to find something. He actually probably would’ve been done sooner but with every outfit he puts on, Jaeyong finds something he doesn’t like.

It’s not like it’s anything new. Soobin remembers when they were still “together” and on the rare occasions they went out (a little out of town where nobody would see them), Jaeyong never truly liked what Soobin wore. It came to the point where Soobin was considering buying a new closet altogether. 

That was the thing about Jaeyong. There was always something Soobin could improve on. If it wasn’t his clothes, it was the way he kissed or his music taste.

So when Jaeyong makes him cycle through about ten outfits Soobin doesn’t blink. Eventually though, largely because of Minhyung’s growing impatience, they find something that he likes.

“I have an idea,” Minhyung says, clicking his fingers. “If this doesn’t work…” He mutters and hurries away.

Soobin’s left standing alone with Jaeyong who walks up to him and runs a hand up and down Soobin’s arm. “What is this for anyway, Soob?”

Soobin clears his throat and averts his eyes when Jaeyong comes to stand in front of the podium. “A friend just invited me to something.”

Jaeyong cocks his head to the side. “Taehyun or Huening Kai?”

“Uh Taehyun,” Soobin blurts.

Jaeyong frowns. “You’re still a bad liar, Soob. Which friend?”

Oh well.

Soobin looks at Jaeyong’s hazel eyes. “Yeonjun Hyung.”

Jaeyong scowls at the mention of Yeonjun’s name. “What are you doing with him? Since when do you hang out with people like him, have you not heard about all the things he’s done?”

His hand is still on Soobin’s arm but Soobin shrugs it off. “I know who he is. It’s not surprising that you didn’t bother to look beyond the surface level though.”

Soobin doesn’t know where the courage to say that came from but it’s worth the shocked look on Jaeyong’s face.

“Are we going to talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Soobin mumbles.

“You kissed me,” Jaeyong insists.

“No,  _ you _ kissed  _ me _ .”

“You kissed back,” Jaeyong counters back.

To that, Soobin doesn’t have a response.

“I’ve changed, Soobin-ah,” Jaeyong takes Soobin’s hands in his own. “Don’t you think people can change?”

Soobin does.

In fact, he desperately wants to believe that Jaeyong has changed so that the fairytale in his head plays out perfectly.

“Is this about that Yeonjun? What’s going between you guys?” Jaeyong asks when Soobin doesn’t answer.

“It’s Yeonjun  _ Hyung _ ,” Soobin points out. “He’s older than you too. And nothing is going on between us. How do I know you’ve changed?”

“Let me take you out,” Jaeyong says, reaching up to brush away the hair on Soobin’s forehead. 

“What, so you can take me to a place out of town where nobody can see us?” Soobin questions bitterly.

“No! It’ll be somewhere close to home Soobin-ah. Please?” He looks up at Soobin pleadingly. 

Before Soobin can answer, Minhyung returns. “This will work!”

“I’ll think about it,” Soobin says before stepping off the podium and taking the clothes from Minhyung.

The last thing he sees is Jaeyong’s eyes brighten before he disappears into the changing room.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

The last outfit did end up being perfect like Minhyung promised.

Well, perfect according to Jaeyong anyway. 

Soobin could’ve easily worn any of the other suits or tuxedos he tried on.  He ended up renting the tux because God knows Soobin can’t afford to actually buy the awfully fancy thing on his own money.

He can’t say that he’s not a little disappointed when he gets home and finds that Yeonjun isn’t there. It had only been two days but he’s grown used to the older’s presence.  Soobin also needs to find a way to thank Yeonjun somehow. He was meant to be helping Yeonjun out at the bakery but Yeonjun assured him that he’d be fine on his own and that Soobin should focus on feeling better. On top of that, he’s been helping Soobin at home too.

His parents return on Sunday already. The week flew quicker than he expected.

A buzzing from his pocket makes him pull out his phone.

“Hyung?” 

“Dimples,” Yeonjun says in a manner of greeting. “How are you feeling?”

Soobin sits down on his bed and stares at the drawings taped to his wall. “Not bad. I just went to get my outfit for tomorrow night.”

“Oh shit yeah. That’s tomorrow already,” Yeonjun’s voice loses its energy almost immediately and Soobin’s heart feels like it’s being stabbed with a thousand tiny little needles.

“I don’t have to come if you don’t want me to anymore,” Soobin tries to sound nonchalant.

“What?” Yeonjun sounds confused. “No Dimples, it’s not you. I just don’t want you to have to see my dad. I still want you to come with.”

The needles on his heart vanish and in its place, an assortment of butterflies flutter in his stomach instead.

Actually, they’re more like moths if Soobin’s being honest. Attracted to artificial light that only ends up making them flap pathetically for nothing only to eventually die.

“Are you coming home- I mean,” Soobin quickly rephrases, feeling his ears redden. “Are you coming to my place today?”

“I wish,” Yeonjun sighs. “I’m closing the bakery and heading home, I have to check up on my mum. I forgot that my outfit for tomorrow probably arrived today so I should try it on to double check if it fits.”

“Oh okay,” Soobin tries to not sound too disappointed.

“But I’ll pick you up tomorrow at about seven so we can go to my dumb dad’s,” Yeonjun assures him. “And as soon as I’m free to leave we can ditch and come back home to watch Banana Fish.” 

Soobin sits up straight. “We’ll come back here after?”

“Yeah,” Yeonjun’s voice becomes distant. “I’m sorry I have to lock up now. I’ll text you later.”

They end up calling instead. It wasn’t planned but Yeonjun had phoned and Soobin had obliged and picked up.

It’s not like they have much to say. 

At one point Soobin mentioned wanting to draw and Yeonjun insisted that they switch to video call so he could see what Soobin did.  While he draws, Soobin idly wonders about when he became so comfortable with Yeonjun.  He can’t think of a single instance but it felt more of a gradual thing that he wasn’t even conscious of. 

He lifts his head, prepared to make a joke about Professor Minhyuck being useful for one thing but stops. 

Yeonjun’s looking at him.

Like,  _ really  _ looking at him with a soft look Soobin can’t wrap his head around.

He’s never looked at Soobin like that before.

Soobin’s throat dries.

He's not sure what the tug he feels in his gut means.

He does know, however, that he wants Yeonjun to continue looking at him like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this was better than the last chapter!!  
> also, enjoy this peace while you can. if you guys were upset abt chapter 8 i am so sorry to tell you that that was very light in comparison to what comes later 🗿  
> wanna say quick thank you to everybody who's sharing the story with their friends, i appreciate the support so so much. comment your feelings and thoughts!! i love hearing where you guys think the story is going.  
> enjoy your weekend and i'll see everybody on monday <3   
> (ps: monday's update is one of my favourites, you'll love it)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys as much as i would like to kill off jaeyong i'm afraid it's Not Happening i'm so sorry 🗿  
> anyways- here we go, hope everybody enjoys!!  
> (ps, farah this one's for u <3)

**Chapter 10**

Soobin spends the Friday leading up to the party overthinking. He wonders what he’s going to tell Jaeyong but the thought that occupies his mind the most is how he definitely does _not_ have a crush on Yeonjun.

It’s obviously just all in Soobin’s head.

He’s always had a hard time differentiating his platonic feelings from his romantic ones. When he had first become friends with Taehyun and Huening Kai post Jaeyong, he had thought he liked Kai because of how much he enjoyed hugging and being around him.

It just turned out that Soobin was starved of platonic love his entire life before then. 

It’s probably the same thing this time round too.

Besides, it’s not like Yeonjun acts any differently with him than he does with Beomgyu.

Soobin’s mum asked his Aunt Chae to check up on him that Friday too so he makes sure the house is orderly before she arrives.

Not that Aunt Chae would actually mind if things were out of place. She’s a really cool person aside from being Soobin’s aunt. He has fond memories of going on multiple ice-cream trips with her when he was younger when his parents upset him.

His aunt choosing to stay unmarried and living with four cats meant that Soobin is showered with more gifts than he deserves a lot of the time.

Soobin asks her to come about an hour before seven so she can help him get ready so Aunt Chae arrives at exactly six, wearing expensive looking Nike slides with a gift bag in her right hand.

“Aw look at you!” She exclaims and throws her arms around Soobin, standing on her tippie toes. “I haven’t seen you in ages, how is my favourite nephew?”

“Am I not your only nephew?” Soobin says, trying very hard not to choke on her perfume that no doubt costs more than his entire outfit combined.

“Irrelevant point,” She pulls away and walks into the house.

“Your hair was blonde the last time I saw you,” Soobin notes, patting his aunt’s now bright pink hair after closing the door.

“True. I decided to try something different,” She shrugs and fixes her hair in the nearest mirror. “My sister would die if she saw it.”

Soobin snorts. “Mom has always liked things normal.”

Aunt Chae sticks her tongue out and Soobin smiles. He does enjoy her company a lot.

“Anyway. Before we go help you get ready, this is for you,” She sticks the gift bag out to Soobin who accepts it.

They walk to his room and he waits until they’re inside before he pulls out the white, polo neck top and the dainty silver necklace with a cute raccoon face on it from the bag. 

“Oh, it’s so cute,” Soobin coos, inspecting the detail on the raccoon’s face closer before immediately putting it on.

“Your favourite animal is still a raccoon right?” Aunt Chae checks as she sits on the edge of Soobin’s bed. After Soobin nods enthusiastically she smiles. “I thought you’d like it. I saw the top and thought it would look good on you too.”

“Wah, thank you ChaCha-ssi,” He goes to give her a hug but she swats him away at the mention of the hated nickname.

“Brat! I’ll take it back,” She warns, shooting daggers at him. 

They sit and catch up for a bit before Soobin gets ready. He tells her about university, the bakery and about Taehyun’s recent heartbreak to which she turns up her nose.

“Don’t pull your face like that, not all of us can be the ones breaking the hearts,” He chides.

Aunt Chae rolls her eyes. 

Soobin hasn’t seen his aunt with the same man or woman at any family event since he was a child.

“Relationships are a bore, Soobin-ah. I live a good life on my own,” She shrugs.

“Then why do you date and dump so many people?” He questions, raising his eyebrow.

“I get bored, sue me. What about you? Is my little nephew crushing on anybody?” She punches his shoulder lightly.

“No,” He says a little too quickly.

His aunt gasps and squeals. “LITTLE SOOBIN HAS A CRUSHHHHH.” 

“I DO NOT!” He throws a pillow at her but she continues to coo annoyingly. “There’s half an hour left before Yeonjun Hyung has to pick me up.”

“Aw come on at least tell me who it is,” She whines.

Soobin ignores her and stands up to go to his closet where he hung the rented outfit from yesterday.

His aunt is still making kissy noises at him when he reappears from the bathroom after changing.

The last time he wore a suit was at the funeral of his fish who died when he was about nine so he doesn’t feel too confident now.

Aunt Chae tilts her head.

“Is it that bad?” Soobin dismays, pulling at the tie self-consciously.

“No no,” She assures him and stands up, surveying Soobin in a circle. “Just looks like something is missing.”

It’s not like Soobin had picked anything fancy. He’d left the decision up to Jaeyong and the tailor after growing tired of Jaeyong’s constant dissatisfaction.

They’d ended up settling on a plain shirt with a black suit that has a white, grid pattern on it. Soobin thought it was fine enough.

She takes a step back and deliberates for a moment.

“Swap your shirt out for this,” She says after a moment and throws the white polo neck at him.

Soobin does what he’s told and re-emerges from the bathroom with the poloneck instead of the shirt.

“AHA,” She jumps, excited.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too tight?” Soobin asks nervously. It feels like the top is showing every crease on his chest and abdomen.

“No it’s perfect, it shows your shoulders off,” She assures him. “Tuck it into the pants and let’s find you a belt so everybody can see that tiny waist of yours.”

After finding the belt and tucking his t-shirt in, Aunt Chae still looks bothered.

She deliberates some more and gasps. Soobin can only watch as she grabs her clutch bag off the bed, disconnects the chain link and reconnects it from his belt loop down to his pocket instead.

“Perfect!” She does a little happy dance and her long, black hair jumps in excitement along with her.

“What about my hair?” Soobin stresses.

“Aish,” She mutters but sits Soobin down at his desk. “Must I do everything for you?”

She runs off to another room and returns with a curling iron to make gentle waves in his hair. When she’s done, she flips some of his hair to the side and exposes some of his forehead. To top it all off, she sprinkles just a sliver of silver glitter on top of his head and uses her hand to dust it to different areas.

“Honestly I should become a stylist,” She muses as she looks Soobin up and down one last time.

“You and Lea would be best friends,” He agrees.

“Go check to see if you like it before I leave,” She ushers him into the bathroom excitedly.

He has to do a double take when he actually sees himself in the mirror.

It’s like he’s looking at an entirely different person.

He usually avoids mirrors and looking at himself for the most part but when he surveys himself now, he thinks he doesn’t look so bad. The polo neck does oddly enough work with the entire outfit and the small addition of the chain ties well in with the thin white grids on the suit and pants.

Even the glitter looks kinda pretty and shines under the light of his bathroom.

“I will take your silence as amazement,” His aunt calls from his room.

He walks out of the room and wraps his aunt in a tight hug. “Thank you Chae-ssi. Really, I would’ve looked awful without you.”

“You wouldn’t have looked awful. Just significantly less cool,” She teases and hugs back.

When he releases her, she gathers her things and Soobin leads her out of the house to her fancy looking car. 

“I’ll tell your mum you didn’t break the house and that you’re not dead,” She calls out as she climbs into the driver’s seat.

“She’d probably still worry,” He yells back and waves as she begins to pull out.

He heads back into his house and checks his phone.

There are a few texts from his mother asking to send pictures and from Taehyun and Kai asking for the same but the one Soobin zeroes in on is Yeonjun’s that tells him that the older is on his way.

Soobin paces up and down his room, resisting the urge to run his hand through his hair in fear of messing it up. 

He gets anxious before any kind of event but usually wherever he goes, Taehyun and Kai are not far behind. Now though, they’re far away and he is going to some event that sounds too expensive for him without the usual support from his friends. Yeonjun will be there but he’ll probably have to leave Soobin at least a couple of times. Soobin wishes he was as good at talking to people as Kai or Taehyun. The wrong words always seem to come out of his mouth and he ends up embarrassing himself. His thoughts run at a hundred miles per hour and it only feels like he’s been pacing for a few seconds but he hears a hoot outside and his phone buzzes in the pocket of his blazer.

Yeonjun is here.

He yelps but takes his phone out to tell Yeonjun that he’s on his way.

Soobin downs a glass of water before heading out the door.

It’s too dark to really see Yeonjun at first where he leans against a car that doesn’t look like his. Soobin can only see the silhouette of his long legs but when he notices Soobin walk out the door, he straightens and walks toward Soobin.

Soobin does the same but stops short when the porch light sheds some light onto him.

He looks _heartbreakingly_ beautiful.

Soobin really means heartbreaking because he feels his heart give an actual tug when he looks at Yeonjun. 

It looks like he stepped straight out of a renaissance painting with the Victorian styled white shirt and its frilly collar. The blazer he’s wearing looks even more gorgeous- the left sleeve and right shoulder are embroidered intricately with gold roses and leaves. Much like Soobin, his shirt is tucked into his dress pants but where Soobin settled for his dad’s plain old chelsea boots, Yeonjun opted for thick soled black boots instead.

A plain black beret sits atop the crown of his head, his inky hair falling in his eyes and curling at the nape of his neck.

Soobin’s still taking in the older’s appearance when he comes to stand in front of him, only slightly taller now because of his shoes.

“Hey,” Yeonjun greets, eyes drinking in Soobin from top to bottom.

The porch light highlights the gold eyeliner lining his lids.

“Hi,” Soobin greets back, thoroughly at a loss for words.

They stay like that for a moment, each of them too distracted by how the other looks to say anything. 

“You clean up well, Dimples,” Yeonjun eventually says, dragging his eyes up.

“Uh thank you,” Soobin struggles to say. “You too.”

Yeonjun takes a step back. “Let’s go.”

Soobin follows him into the unfamiliar car where they climb into the backseat. He knocks on the tinted window that separates the front and back seats and Soobin feels the car start.

“My stepmother sent it for us,” Yeonjun explains at the confused look on Soobin’s face as he surveys the car. “Didn’t want me driving late.”

Soobin nods his head and swallows, focusing his attention on looking outside the window.

Looking at Yeonjun for too long isn’t going to do him any good.

“Your outfit turned out really nice,” Soobin notes casually.

“All thanks to my stepmom,” Yeonjun replies. “Where’d you get yours?”

Soobin hesitates before answering. He keeps his eyes focused on the passing street lights. “Jaeyong Hyung took me to a tailor yesterday.”

He waits for Yeonjun to say something but he never does. Unable to help himself anymore, he looks back at Yeonjun who is making a point to look out of the window.

“But my aunt came over and helped me get ready,” He adds when the silence becomes too much for him.

“That’s nice,” Yeonjun says blankly.

Soobin tries to make conversation with Yeonjun for the rest of the trip but Yeonjun doesn’t seem too interested anymore so he eventually gives up and rides it out in silence.

It does nothing to help the anxiety gnawing at his brain.

 _This is good,_ Soobin tries to tell himself.

_See, there’s nothing going on. You were just imagining things._

They arrive after another fifteen minutes outside a villa looking house and it takes everything in Soobin’s power to not gape when they step inside.

A huge, twinkling chandelier hangs from the ceiling and two spiral staircases venture off to other parts of the house. It’s empty here so Yeonjun walks deeper into the house and this time, Soobin can’t help but look around in awe. It’s all polished marble floors and walls with expensive looking paintings hanging from them, sleek countertops and grand wooden doors.

To put it simply, Soobin feels poor.

It’s only when they get to the second floor that Soobin begins to hear chatter and music. Almost as if on cue, his anxiety kicks out any thoughts of the pretty house and loops around the fact that in a matter of seconds he’ll be left alone with a bunch of strangers. 

Maybe it’s because he slows down or because he suddenly can’t stop twisting his hands that Yeonjun stops just before the large wooden doors they were seconds from walking through. 

“They’re all rich snobs okay? It doesn’t matter what they think,” Yeonjun reassures Soobin.

He’s about to make a bad joke and say that he’s fine but Yeonjun reaches out and brushes aside a piece of Soobin’s hair and he suddenly can’t speak again.

“And besides,” He says, looking Soobin up and down again. “You look... amazing. I’d punch anybody that so much as looks at you the wrong way.”

With that, he takes Soobin’s hand and opens the door.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

The first person Yeonjun seeks out in the crowd of people is his stepmom. 

It proves to be a rather difficult task because of how many people there are in the gigantic ballroom. As Yeonjun tugs him through the crowd, Soobin wonders how it’s possible to have this many people at a birthday party.

Were they all Yeonjun’s dad’s friends?

If so, Soobin would have to give props to the man.

The total amount of friends he’s had at a birthday was three- and it included Aunt Chae.

Yeonjun seems to give up after a while and throws his free hand up in exasperation. He tugs Soobin in the direction of the table to the far side of the hall where a table full of snacks and starters sit.

A few waiters and waitresses stand ready with champagne glasses on a tray. They raise the tray in an offering when Yeonjun and Soobin near them. Soobin accepts one and downs it in one sip.

He doubts he can get liquid courage from champagne but it always calms Soobin down whenever he drinks anything, alcohol or not. Gives his hands something to do instead of fidgeting.

Yeonjun declines and instead grabs a plate of fruit. He temporarily lets go of Soobin’s hand to eat it.

“Are all your dad’s birthdays this big?” Soobin asks, scanning the room full of elegant and rich looking adults.

Yeonjun nods his head. “I don’t know if my dad has friends- it would surprise me if he did -but these are all business colleagues along with a bunch of my stepmom’s people. Clients, models, other designers.”

He doesn’t seem fazed as he scans the crowd with a frown.

He places his empty plate on the table. A waiter swoops in to clean it and Soobin awkwardly places his empty glass on the waiter’s tray as he takes another glass.

Yeonjun turns to him and Soobin finds himself panic drinking the champagne again.

“Are you okay?” He asks, taking Soobin’s hand again.

Soobin shrugs and tries to smile. “Just a little anxious.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have dragged you here,” Yeonjun apologizes regretfully, his face falling slightly.

Soobin can’t stand the sight of it so he shakes his head vigorously. “I’m fine, Junie. I get like this a lot, it’s nothing. I promise.”

At the mention of his nickname, a smile tugs at Yeonjun’s lips. He opens his mouth to respond but is cut off by a scream.

“YEONIEEEE.”

Yeonjun grimaces but plasters on a smile before he spins around.

A little boy with chestnut brown hair emerges from the sea of people and throws himself at Yeonjun’s legs.

“Hey you,” He says to the little boy and ruffles his hair.

The little boy looks up at Yeonjun with so much adoration in his wide, brown, pleading eyes that Soobin has to cover his mouth from letting out a coo. Yeonjun crouches down to give the boy a hug and the little one practically squeezes Yeonjun’s neck. Yeonjun laughs and eases the boy’s grip.

“Someone is looking handsome today,” Yeonjun teases, poking the boy’s chubby cheeks.

The boy giggles uncontrollably and blushes deeply. 

“Do you like my hair? I asked mummy to do it like yours because I wanted to look nice too,” The boy bounces and points to his hair with as much excitement his little body can muster.

Yeonjun blinks at the boy’s statement in shock.

Just then, a petite woman emerges through the crowd looking slightly frantic. 

“Renjun-ah!” She shouts. “What have I told you about running off and speaking to strang- Yeonjun-ah!”

She stops her scolding when she realizes who the little boy known as Renjun is talking to.

“Sae-eomma,” He stands up and smiles at her and Renjun swaps to clinging to Yeonjun’s sleeve instead. “You look stunning.”

The woman Soobin believes to be Yeonjun’s stepmom bows her head in thanks. It’s true that she does look stunning in her burgundy satin suit with its blue prints.

“Ah, I’m so happy your suit turned out well. Do you like it?” She asks Yeonjun.

“One of my favourites,” He tells her with a smile.

She notices Soobin and her eyes widen. “Oh! You are Soobin, yes?”

Soobin glances at Yeonjun nervously who gives his hand an encouraging squeeze. He swallows and puts on his best smile before he nods.

“Yeonjun-ah, you never told me he was so tall and handsome! I could have him model one of my-”

“Sae-eomma,” Yeonjun interrupts in a panic, his cheeks reddening.

“Oh I’m sorry Yeonjun-ah, but he is quite handsome,” She reaches up to pinch Soobin’s cheek and the only thing that stops Soobin from feeling embarrassed is the mortified look on Yeonjun’s face.

For once, it isn’t Soobin’s parents doing something causing him to heat up.

“Ah how rude, I haven’t even told you my name,” She shakes her head and retracts her hand. “I’m Yeonjun’s step mother but please just call me Seri-ssi. Ajumma makes me feel rather old.” 

“It’s nice to meet you Seri-ssi. Yeonjun Hyung tells me you’re responsible for his outfit today? It’s really stunning, did you design yours too?”

Seri doesn’t get to answer because Renjun becomes impatient at the lack of attention on him.

“Yeonnie,” He tugs on Yeonjun’s sleeve insistently. “Who is this?”

“Renjun-ah, don’t be rude,” Seri chides and scoops the child up into her arms. 

“It’s okay!” Soobin assures her and takes a step toward them so he can hold out his hand for the little boy. “I’m a friend of Junie’s.”

“Junie?” He questions but still reaches out with his chubby fingers to hold onto Soobin’s hand. It’s so tiny it barely covers half of his palm.

“That’s what I nicknamed your Hyung,” Soobin explains, shaking his little fist.

“I want a nickname too!” Renjun pouts and Soobin’s never really taken to kids but wow, he would die for this one.

“Hmm...” Soobin pretends to think hard and taps his chin in thought.

“What about big Junie,” He reaches back with his free hand to grab Yeonjun’s hand and wiggles it so Renjun can see. “...And little Junie?” He wiggles Renjun’s hand whose eyes widen.

He shakes his head so hard Soobin thinks it might fall off. He laughs and squeezes Renjun’s hand one last time before dropping it and taking a step back to stand beside Yeonjun. “Little Junie it is then.”

He twists in excitement in his mother’s arms who struggles to hold him still but looks at him lovingly all the same.

“Seri, one of your models is looking for you,” A rumbling voice announces.

Even if Yeonjun didn’t introduce the man as his father Soobin would’ve known from the alarming similarities.

When Soobin hadn’t known Yeonjun personally and only knew his face from seeing it in class, he had thought of him as one of those people who are attractive to the point of being unapproachable. 

The view quickly changed when he got to know Yeonjun better. The cold eyes became eyes that lit up with fondness when watching Beomgyu, the set, firm mouth became plump lips that always tried not to smile when Soobin did something dumb.

Looking at Yeonjun’s dad now, he gets the same impression he initially had of Yeonjun.

Everything about him is firm and clean cut, from his set jaw and slight scruff to the calculating eyes that look like they're analyzing how you could be of use to him.

The effect of his arrival is seen immediately. 

Seri’s smile remains but it’s far more strained and Yeonjun’s face is not only blank, but his entire body seems to go slack. His hand feels like deadweight in Soobin’s.

Only Renjun seems unbothered.

“You are my son’s plus one I presume,” He says in a tone that indicates that he couldn’t care less.

Soobin clears his throats and tries to sound more confident than he feels. “Yes sir. I’m Soobin, it’s nice to meet you.”

Soobin extends the hand not holding Yeonjun’s out to his dad who merely looks down at it before turning to Yeonjun.

“Happy Birthday,” Yeonjun tells his father robotically.

He sounds like Soobin’s phone when it’s giving him directions.

“Don’t act up and embarrass me tonight,” Is all his dad says in response before walking off into the crowd. 

Seri shoots the two of them an apologetic look before following and Renjun whines about wanting to stay with big Junie as he’s carried away. Yeonjun stares after his father even after his figure disappears and the two can no longer see him.

The hand Soobin’s still holding is shaking slightly.

“Hey,” He whispers and squeezes his hand. 

Yeonjun snaps out of his daze.

“Sorry,” He mutters before looking up at Soobin.

“Good thing you made me promise not to leave you after meeting him, ‘cause like...” Soobin trails off jokingly.

Yeonjun snorts and his body relaxes a little. “I told you.”

Soobin bumps shoulders with him. “I don’t care, really. Is Renjun your real brother?”

Yeonjun sighs and lifts their hands to flick some hair out of his face. “Half brother, yeah. Dad had him with Seri after they got married.”

It’s a small detail but it’s a reminder that he still has so much to learn about Yeonjun.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Yeonjun doesn’t leave his side the entire night.

Even as the night goes on and Soobin’s anxiety fades away, Yeonjun sticks to his side like glue. Soobin doesn’t mind at all, he’s just rather surprised. He dutifully greets his stepmom’s friends and makes small talk with them whenever needed and includes Soobin in the conversation every single time. 

Something that makes Soobin especially soften is seeing him interact with Renjun who can’t seem to get enough Yeonjun. Yeonjun doesn’t seem to mind that the child tries to follow him around the entire night, just tugs him along if need be.

Another thing Soobin notices is that Yeonjun won’t stop looking at him. 

Throughout the night, Soobin finds himself turning to Yeonjun only to find the older already looking at him. He doesn’t even shy away from it. When Soobin catches him, all he does is smile gently.

Soobin doesn’t know what to think of it so he decides to not think about it altogether.

The night is actually going well.

The two of them keep to themselves for the most part, occasionally keeping Renjun and Seri company. Yeonjun avoids his dad as much as possible but when it’s time to sit down for his dad’s speech, Yeonjun’s forced to sit beside him. He looks miserable but Soobin tries catching his eyes from across the room to wiggle his eyebrows in an attempt to cheer Yeonjun up.

It works a little, a smile pulling at his lips that are determined to stay pressed in a thin line.

After the speech though, he’s free to leave and he immediately comes to sit next to Soobin as they eat some expensive two course meal.

“The higher power really gave you everything except hand eye coordination skills,” Yeonjun teases as they attempt to slow dance to the song playing from the nearby speaker.

“And any form of athletic ability,” Soobin mutters, glancing down to his feet that take too many steps and occasionally step on Yeonjun’s.

There aren’t that many people on the dance floor but it’s enough that Soobin doesn’t feel self-conscious about the two of them.

Yeonjun laughs and tilts Soobin’s head up so that he’s looking into his eyes instead of down at their feet. “It’s fine, just follow my lead.”

He slides his hand down from Soobin’s chin to his waist then places Soobin’s left hand on his lower back and takes hold of his right. He holds it loosely and they sway gently, relatively on beat to the sad sounding song.

“You’re a lot more different to what I thought you were going to be,” Soobin can’t help himself from saying as he gazes down at Yeonjun.

Yeonjun raises an eyebrow. “Good or bad thing?”

“Good,” Soobin replies instantly.

“And what type of person did you think I would be, Dimples?”

Soobin looks over Yeonjun’s shoulder to see Seri and Renjun dancing together. Seri bends a little so that she holds hands with him and he wobbles on his two feet like a penguin.

Soobin shrugs. “Cold? Arrogant? I saw you arrive to campus in your convertible and made assumptions based on that I guess. Stupid of me.”

“Believe me,” Yeonjun sighs. “I hate that convertible as much as you do. It’s just because of my dad.”

They sway in silence.

“How much has your impression of me changed then?” Yeonjun asks after a moment.

Soobin is robbed of answering because they stop swaying abruptly.

He doesn’t realize the interruption until he sees Yeonjun’s dad looming right behind Yeonjun with his thick hand on Yeonjun’s shoulder.

Yeonjun whips around so quickly he drops Soobin’s hand in the process.

His father smiles at him but there’s little warmth in it.

“Come with me,” He orders Yeonjun, leaving little room for argument as he pulls Yeonjun by the shoulder. Nobody except Soobin seems to notice who panics at the sight but Yeonjun just shoots him a look and mouths something that Soobin can’t quite make out.

 _Don’t worry_ is Soobin’s best guess.

He’s left standing alone awkwardly in the middle of dancing couples so he quickly makes his way to the nearest empty table. He wonders what is happening but if Yeonjun told him to not stress, he’d trust the older.

“Having a good night?” 

Soobin looks up to see Seri take a seat next to him. He looks behind her for Renjun but the little one is nowhere to be seen.

“I had him taken to bed,” Seri explains upon seeing Soobin’s expression. 

“It’s a really nice house you have,” He says, gesturing around. “And I’m having a better time than I expected.”

Seri smiles and Soobin wonders idly how old she is. She looks rather young but considering how successful she seems to be, Soobin would think that she’s older than she looks.

“Thank you and I’m glad to hear that. Yeonjun was worried about inviting you, I told him he had nothing to worry about.”

“He was worried?” Soobin repeats.

Seri twirls the ruby ring on her forefinger as she answers. “Don’t be mistaken, Soobin-ah. It has little to do with you. Yeonjun-ah is wary of introducing anybody to his family. Other than Beomgyu, you’re the only friend I’ve met.”

It’s nothing shocking so Soobin shouldn’t feel a weird rush but he does and tries to push it away to answer Seri. “Seri-ssi, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s Yeonjun like with his mum? He rarely mentions her.” 

Seri looks down at her manicured red nails that match her suit before answering. “It is not entirely my place to speak on such but I will say that Yeonjun cares for his mother deeply.”

Soobin figured as much.

Yeonjun never spoke about her but when he did, it was only mention of how he needed to get home to cook for her and make sure she’s alright. Soobin just wanted to know if he was close with his mother. Caring for somebody and allowing them in your life can be two different things.

“Where is Yeonjun-ah?” Seri looks around, finally noting Yeonjun’s absence. “I haven’t seen him leave your side all night.”

“Uh, his dad wanted to talk to him about something so he kind of just dragged Yeonjun away.” 

The way Seri’s forehead creases doesn’t do much for Soobin’s worry. She bites her lip but then shakes her head and mutters something to herself that Soobin can’t quite make out.

“How did you become friends with Yeonjun-ah?” She asks instead.

“Oh, he works at the bakery my parents own. We share a few classes but never really spoke until he started working at the bakery,” Soobin explains.

“He works at your bakery?” She repeats slowly.

“Well my parents’ bakery, but yes,” Soobin pauses, suddenly confused at the alarmed look on Seri’s face. “Was I not supposed to say?”

“Not to worry,” Seri mutters vaguely and stands up. “Pardon me, Soobin-ah.”

She walks away in a hurry and leaves Soobin with his sudden wave of anxiety.

Was he not supposed to mention the bakery?

He sits and tries to distract himself by counting the amount of glass shards that hang from the expensive light above the ceiling when he suddenly feels a tap on the shoulder. He expects it to be Yeonjun but instead, it’s just a waiter. 

“Oh I’ve had enough to drink,” He tells them politely.

“Sorry sir, I’m not offering you a drink,” The boy scratches his head awkwardly. “Seri-ssi sent me for you. She says to go downstairs to the car, you and Sir Yeonjun Hyung are to leave now.”

Soobin frowns but stands up.

Were they kicking them out of the party?

He thanks the waiter and exits the ballroom, still marvelling at the stunning house all the way down. On the way, he tries to think of anything he could have possibly done throughout the night to warrant them being thrown out of the party but comes up blank.

He did play hide and seek with Renjun under the tables at one point but that hardly constitutes being thrown out.

It’s colder outside now than it was earlier.

Soobin shivers and pulls his blazer closer as he looks around for the car that brought them here. There, just a little further down the unnecessarily big driveway he spots it, along with a figure leaning against the car that must be Yeonjun.

“Hey,” Soobin says when he reaches the car and stands in front of Yeonjun.

In response, Yeonjun bows his head down and opens the car door for Soobin who climbs in after trying to get a look at Yeonjun’s face that’s concealed in the dark.

It isn’t any better in the car either- the streetlights they pass only provide a brief split second of light that does little to help Soobin get a clear look of Yeonjun./

He’s weirdly quiet on the ride home too.

He stares out the window much like when they first drove to his dad’s house except this time, his hand creeps toward Soobin’s until their pinkies touch. Soobin puts his fingers over Yeonjun’s hesitantly and when he doesn’t pull away, holds his hand fully.

“Is everything okay?” Soobin asks when they climb out of the car after arriving at his house.

“Yes,” Yeonjun replies, which only furthers Soobin’s doubt.

“I was just tired of the party,” He shrugs. “Let’s go, I’m sleepy.”

He walks forward and Soobin has no other option but to follow.

When they get to Soobin’s room, Yeonjun immediately disappears into the bathroom and leaves Soobin alone to prep the bed.

He’s debating how much time he has left to change before Yeonjun returns when the older flings the door open. He’s taken off his blazer and untucked his shirt so that the material flows freely. Some of his buttons are now undone too, exposing his collarbones.

Soobin can see a sliver of his bare chest too.

He averts his eyes quickly and busies himself with the bed. “Your stepmom is really nice,” He blabs. “She’s really cool, I can’t believe she-”

“Hey.” 

The strange tone of Yeonjun’s voice is what makes Soobin look up. 

“Junie, oh my God,” Soobin crosses the room to reach him after he sees a bruise painted on his cheek that was previously concealed by the light and his hair. “What happened?”

“My dad hit me,” He says in the same tone of voice one would say that it’s sunny outside. “I like it when you call me that.”

Yeonjun looks up at Soobin and-

 _That’s not right,_ Soobin dimly notes.

Yeonjun’s not looking at Soobin. 

He’s looking at Soobin’s lips.

Soobin takes an involuntary step back.

“Junie?” Soobin questions a little uncertainly.

Yeonjun takes a step toward him. “Yes.” 

“Erm. I’m glad,” He replies, taking another step back.

“Is something wrong, Soobin-ah?”

He takes a step forward.

In return, Soobin takes a step back and then freezes. 

For as long as Soobin’s been friends with him, Yeonjun has never called him by his name. 

It’s always been Dimples.

Soobin focuses on a spot just above Yeonjun’s eyes when he answers. “Everything’s fine.”

His voice sounds awfully high.

Yeonjun takes another step toward him.

If Soobin reaches out, he can touch Yeonjun’s bruised cheek.

“Are you sure?” He questions.

“Yes,” Soobin mumbles, voice coming out more strangled than he anticipated.

He tries to take another step back but his foot catches on the bed. He would’ve fallen if not for Yeonjun’s quick hand that catches his arm.

Now, Soobin can see the smudged gold eyeliner that matches with the flecks of gold in his eyes.

When had he gotten so close?

Soobin can’t think straight anymore.

His heart is beating so loud he’s afraid Yeonjun might hear it and laugh.

He’s never been this close to anybody.

Well, nobody except Jaeyong.

And because his heart is racing and nothing sensible is running through his brain, the first thing that comes out of Soobin’s mouth next is, “Jaeyong kissed me on Wednesday.”

It’s the first time he’s admitted it out loud.

At that, Yeonjun drags his eyes from Soobin’s lips to his eyes.

Then, he says the last thing Soobin expects him to say. “Was it good?”

Soobin blinks.

And blinks.

Then blinks some more because _surely_ , he heard wrong.

But Yeonjun stands there expectantly, still as close with his head cocked to the side, waiting for an answer.

“I… don’t know. He’s the only person I’ve kissed,” He chokes out, heartbeat so loud in his ears now that he can’t seem to hear anything else. 

Soobin’s body completely loses all function when Yeonjun leans in.

But it’s not to his mouth. 

“Where did he kiss you?” He whispers in Soobin’s ear, his warm breath tingling the skin of Soobin’s neck, making a shiver run down his spine.

“Was it here?” Yeonjun murmurs planting a kiss so soft against Soobin’s jaw that he has trouble breathing. 

Soobin can only shake his head in response.

“What about here?” He swaps to the other side of Soobin’s jaw and plants a kiss there too.

Again, Soobin shakes his head.

“Odd,” Yeonjun says, mouth just on the corner of Soobin’s lips now. “Wherever it was,” He breathes softly. “He was doing it wrong.”

And then he kisses Soobin.

In books and movies, they always describe kisses as something equivalent to fireworks or sparks flying.

Whenever Soobin used to kiss Jaeyong, it had been nothing like that. It felt nothing out of the ordinary, just a lot of tongue and mouth.

Kissing Yeonjun is an entirely different experience.

Even though the rest of his body switched off, his mouth responds almost immediately and opens up like it’s the one thing it’s been waiting for all this time. 

It’s warm.

Yeonjun’s tongue moves so easily, as if it’s already mapped out every spot in Soobin’s mouth and he doesn’t realize how long they’ve been kissing for until he has to break away for air.

He’s so dizzy that he stumbles back and falls flat onto the bed. 

Yeonjun’s not quick enough to catch him this time so he leans over Soobin looking a little dazed- and alarmed -as he gazes down at Soobin.

“Shit,” He mutters, panic taking over his voice. “Shit. Fuck, I’m sorry Soobin I just-”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence because it’s Soobin this time who grabs his collar and yanks the older down so he can kiss him.

Yeonjun startles and throws his hands out on either side of Soobin so he doesn’t fall on Soobin completely. He adjusts quickly enough though and eases into the kiss.

Soobin splays his hand across the older’s chest and it’s weird how he went his whole life being so far away from Yeonjun because all he wants now is to be closer and _closer_.

He raises his head slightly so he can deepen the kiss and Yeonjun responds by lowering himself so that Soobin doesn’t have to strain his neck so much.

He breaks away temporarily to lay next to Soobin on his side and reinitiates the kiss after making sure Soobin’s comfortable.

They kiss some more, Yeonjun’s hand running up and down Soobin’s spine so carefully, like he’s playing piano with all the dips in his spine and Soobin runs his hand through Yeonjun’s oh-so-beautiful hair like he’s wanted to do for so long.

It’s only later when Soobin’s laying on Yeonjun’s chest as the older sleeps with bruised lips that he allows himself to think.

Soobin might just like Yeonjun. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seeeeeeeeeeeee i told you guys to just wait and it would be worth it (i hope?)  
> i'd say to prepare for what comes ahead but let's just enjoy their first kiss, yes?  
> tell me your thoughts pretty please, i've been waiting for you guys to read this specific moment for a while. i'd love to hear what everybody thought.  
> enjoy the rest of your week and i'll see you on friday <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! here's the long awaited yeonjun pov. sorry for posting later today, my laptop is broken (;-:)  
> reading all your comments on the last chapter made my heart so!!!  
> hope you all enjoy this one equally as much <3

**Chapter 11**

If there’s one thing about him that Yeonjun always prides himself on, it’s patience.

Yeonjun always thinks things through and never does anything impulsively.

Patience isn’t even something he was born with- he was forced to acquire the trait.

Patience to hold his tongue around his father (though it didn’t always work) so he didn’t catch a hand, patience to take care of his mother and coax her into living again when she gave up, patience to not hate Renjun just because he’s everything Yeonjun wants to be.

If there is something he has a lot of, it’s patience.

Which is why Yeonjun is thoroughly convinced that Soobin possesses an ability to cancel this trait out because all he ever feels with Soobin is impulsive. 

The voice at the back of Yeonjun’s head that always talks him through decisions before he does something disappears completely when he’s with Soobin.

It’s replaced by a much stronger voice.

One that points out the softness of Soobin’s dimples and also tells him to hold Soobin’s hand.

It’s pointless trying to ignore the voice because it’s relentless so when it tells him to kiss Soobin, he does it without question.

The next morning though, when the voice is gone and his usual rational thinking returns, he thinks that maybe he shouldn’t have listened this one time. 

He should probably get to the bakery.

Instead, he gazes down at Soobin who’s still sound asleep with his head resting on Yeonjun’s chest. It’s not that he’s afraid to wake the other (he’s learned that Soobin will sleep through almost anything), just that Soobin’s face is so soft when he sleeps that Yeonjun doesn’t  _ want  _ to leave.

He allows himself three more minutes to just lay there and card through Soobin’s hair before he gets up and gets ready. Before he leaves, he makes sure to leave a note for Soobin for whenever he wakes up.

The closer he gets to the bakery and further away from Soobin, the faster reality sets in.

He pauses once he steps inside the empty shop.

He kissed Soobin.

Soobin who is  _ Beomgyu’s  _ crush.

Beomgyu, who punched somebody at a party because they were speaking badly about Yeonjun.

Beomgyu, the only person who had ever believed Yeonjun.

Beomgyu, his best- and only -friend.

What the fuck was he thinking?

Yeonjun feels sick recalling their last words before Beomgyu had left.

“...You seemed upset, Beomgyu-ah,” Yeonjun insisted as he watched his friend pack.

“Well I wasn’t,” Beomgyu brushed past him swiftly to get to his closet.

Yeonjun followed him stubbornly. “I know you Beomgyu-ah. You were upset.”

With his back to Yeonjun, Beomgyu reached to the top of the shelf in an attempt to get a t-shirt. “Why would I be upset?”

“The phone call-” 

“You just came back from your dad and I was being annoying, I should’ve known better,” Beomgyu interrupted as he still struggled to reach his t-shirt.

Yeonjun grimaced and reached past Beomgyu to grab the t-shirt. “Okay then you were upset about Soobin. Look Beomgyu, I didn’t intend on sleeping there again... it just-”

“I wasn’t upset about that,” Beomgyu exasperated, turning to face him.

“It’s okay if you are but-”

“Hyung,” Beomgyu interrupted again, placing his hands over Yeonjun’s in an attempt to take the t-shirt. “I’m not upset about that because I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.”

He smiled and gave a small shrug before taking the t-shirt and left Yeonjun standing there. 

Oh God.

What has he done?

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Throughout his entire shift at the bakery, Yeonjun can only think about Beomgyu.

What is he supposed to say to his friend?

Can Yeonjun even call him that anymore?

Beomgyu trusted him and Yeonjun had even promised that nothing was going on between the two.

He still stands by that: nothing  _ is _ going on.

The kiss was just a stupid mistake because Yeonjun was angry at his dad.

Before Mina, when Yeonjun still went out and drank, he did this all the time. After almost every dinner with his dad, he would go out, get wasted and kiss a random stranger.

He just forgot what it felt like since he stopped.

The kiss was nothing more than a stupid mistake.

But how was he supposed to explain that to Beomgyu? You don’t kiss people by accident.

And what was Yeonjun meant to say to Soobin? He owes the taller an apology for his behaviour too.  Though, Yeonjun dimly notes, he had been the one to pull Yeonjun back into the kiss.  And then Yeonjun suddenly remembers the night he had been trying so hard to ignore in favour of thinking up an apology for Beomgyu.

Soobin had kissed him back. 

He can’t even remember how long they had been going at it. All he could focus on was Soobin’s pants and how nice it was to feel his hands pull Yeonjun’s shirt harder whenever the older deepened the kiss.

But it didn’t mean anything, did it? Because Soobin had kissed Jaeyong a few days back too.

Yeonjun is probably just a distraction from his feelings for Jaeyong.

He shakes his head.

Less thinking about Soobin’s feelings and more about Beomgyu’s.

What is Yeonjun supposed to do?

It’s not like he can take the kiss back and it’s Saturday which means Beomgyu’s back later.

He sweeps the floor in frustration, wracking his brain for every possible way he could approach Beomgyu. They barely texted since Beomgyu left. It wouldn’t have been strange because they always call instead but they haven’t even been doing that. He tried more than a few times but Beomgyu always claimed to be busy.

He’s so stuck in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice that somebody’s in the bakery until the broom hits a pair of feet.

“I’m sorry, we’re closed-”

He stops when he looks up from the floor to see Jaeyong.

“Cute apron,” Jaeyong notes, a smirk on his face.

Yeonjun’s hand twitches but he keeps it stuffed in his pocket.

“We’re closed and Soobin isn’t here for you to manipulate him,” Yeonjun states flatly.

Jaeyong scowls. “I’m here to talk to you.”

“There is nothing I want to hear from you,” Yeonjun tells him, making sure to look into his eyes. “So you can leave now.”

Jaeyong grabs the broom and rips it out of Yeonjun’s hands. “I’m just here to tell you that whatever is going on between you and Soobin isn’t going to last so you should quit before you get ahead of yourself. Soobin has always been mine.”

Yeonjun takes a slow step toward Jaeyong. The two are round about the same height so he doesn’t have to strain his neck too much. 

“Even if there was something going on between us,” Yeonjun says, making sure to talk slowly to make his point. “Soobin wouldn’t be mine just like he isn’t yours. If you realized that maybe he’d still be with you and you wouldn’t be in a bakery threatening me.”

Jaeyong stares him down but Yeonjun doesn’t budge.

It’s taking everything in him to not swing at the stupid boy.

Finally, Jaeyong takes a step back and snorts.

“Whatever,” He spits. “Enjoy whatever it is while it lasts. You missed a spot.”

With that, he leaves the bakery.

Yeonjun aggressively wipes the tables in an attempt to calm himself down. One day he’s going to punch Jaeyong and it’ll be worth the wait.

At the thought of punches, his hand unconsciously touches his cheek where his dad had hit him last night.

“What’s this bullshit I hear of you working at a bakery?” His dad hissed once he had pulled Yeonjun away from the prying eyes of the party.

Yeonjun stared at him blankly and played dumb.

His father wasn’t having it.

In a flash, his dad had him by the collar and Yeonjun was staring into his flared nostrils and black eyes. “Don’t play dumb with me Yeonjun. One of my business partners mentioned seeing you working at a bakery.”

“Maybe tell them to get their eyes checked,” Yeonjun mumbled.

The grip on his collar tightened as his father lifted him up. “I’m going to ask you one more time,” His dad whispered. “Are you working at a bakery? The answer is simple.”

Yeonjun averted his eyes. “Yes.”

He didn’t see the blow coming so he couldn’t dodge it.

It was quick and clean, an easy punch that hit him square on the cheek and sent him flying to the floor.

“I didn’t buy you a convertible and have Seri send you clothes for you to act like a fucking poor boy and embarrass me,” His dad hissed down at him. “I have a reputation to hold. Do you not understand that, boy?”

All Yeonjun could do was stare up at his dad in silence.

His father straightened up, fixing his slightly ruffled suit.

“You’re going to quit,” He stated simply, no room for argument. “You’re going to quit or I’ll stop sending you money and you’ll learn what it’s really like to live without me. Look how well that turned out for your mother.”

He left Yeonjun standing in the dimly lit study.

It didn’t take Seri long to find him.

She rushed in, eyes wild and worry clear on her face.

“Yeonjun-ah!” Her hand was on his cheek where the bruise was starting to form. “Are you okay?”

Yeonjun dragged his eyes up from the floor to look at the face of his pretty stepmom. “Why are you with him?” That had shocked her and she sputtered, trying to find an answer but Yeonjun had just taken her hand off his cheek and held it in his. “He’s never hurt you or Renjun-ah, right?”

“No,” Seri whispered.

Yeonjun nodded his head. He had expected it. His dad wouldn’t lay a hand on his perfect family, just him. The mistake.

“Can you send someone for Soobin? I think I’m going to leave now if it’s alright.”

“Of course, Yeonjun-ah,” His stepmom had said, sounding sad. “Go to the car, it should be waiting for you. I’ll send Soobin-ah.”

Yeonjun had thought long and hard about it.

If both he and his mum worked, they could do without his dad’s extra money. It would be tight but doable. There’s also the hope that Seri would still maybe send him clothes that he could sell.

Maybe he could cut his father off.

Yeonjun’s still deep in thought by the time he reaches Soobin’s house. He still has the keys he’s been using this entire week so he lets himself in and makes his way to Soobin’s room.

He opens the door without much thought, figuring Soobin was either drawing or showering but stops abruptly when he sees Jaeyong standing with his hand on Soobin’s hip as he leans in.

“Ah,” Yeonjun clears his throat.

There’s a pang in his chest he can’t quite describe.

Soobin practically pushes Jaeyong away when he notices Yeonjun in his doorway. “Hyung! I-”

“Sorry, I just came to fetch my things,” Yeonjun lies, averting his eyes.

He can practically feel Jaeyong’s smirk on him. 

“Jaeyong Hyung was just leaving,” Soobin assures him in a hurry, pushing Jaeyong towards the door more.

“I’ll see you soon, Soob,” Jaeyong greets Soobin brightly, giving him a peck on his cheek before breezing past Yeonjun who is still standing awkwardly in the doorway.

Neither of them say anything until they hear the front door click shut. 

Soobin speaking quickly. “Junie nothing was-”

“It’s fine Dimples,” Yeonjun shrugs, feigning nonchalance. He looks everywhere but at Soobin. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“But last night-” 

Yeonjun cuts him off with a wave and a halfhearted laugh. “Was nothing, I know. Don’t sweat it.”

“Oh,” Soobin’s voice is small.

“I gotta get back home,” Yeonjun announces after a long moment of silence as he gathers his things. “Are you going to be okay on your own for tonight?”

He finally looks at Soobin who in turn looks down at his hands. “Yeah. Thanks for all your help.”

“Don’t mention it, Dimples,” He forces a smile. “See you around.”

With that, Yeonjun leaves Soobin and tries his best to forget the taste of Soobin on his lips.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Yeonjun doesn’t even realize where he’s walking until he stops outside Beomgyu’s house. He intended on going home and seeing Beomgyu tomorrow but something in him needs comfort.

He doesn’t know why but does know that he just needs to see Beomgyu more than anybody else right now.

_ He’s probably tired _ , Yeonjun scolds himself. He did just get back from holiday after all.

But still, he presses the button outside Beomgyu’s house and waits for somebody to let him in. 

“Yeonjun-ah? Is that you?” Beomgyu’s mother’s voice crackles through the intercom. 

“It’s me,” Yeonjun agrees, shifting from one leg to another.

The gate opens automatically and he wastes no time in darting through. 

Once he’s inside, he greets Beomgyu’s parents quickly before making his way up to Beomgyu’s room.

“He’s trying to unpack,” His mother had told Yeonjun.

But when Yeonjun opens the door, he finds Beomgyu fast asleep on his bed surrounded by clothing.

Yeonjun feels a surge of guilt but more than that, he feels his heart tug because he’s genuinely missed Beomgyu this week.

He walks over to the bed and kicks off his shoes before he lays down next to Beomgyu and throws his arm over his friend.

He’s partly afraid Beomgyu will shove him off or something considering they didn’t say goodbye on the best of terms but Beomgyu doesn’t move.

Maybe he’s been asleep longer than Yeonjun thought.

“Beommie,” Yeonjun whispers into the younger’s hair, speaking mostly to himself. “You know I’d never do anything to hurt you on purpose.”

He almost jumps when Beomgyu turns around and looks at him with half closed eyes. “Do you confess your love to everybody when they’re sleeping?”

Normally Yeonjun would have hit or swatted at him but all he does is engulf Beomgyu in a tight hug. 

“Is everything okay?” Beomgyu murmurs, still sleepy.

“Yeah,” Yeonjun replies, his throat very dry. “Just missed you a lot.”

“It’s been a week Hyungie,” He sounds confused but hugs Yeonjun back equally as tight. “Sorry for not calling. I was mad at you.”

“It’s okay, I deserved it.”

“No, you didn’t. You haven’t done anything wrong,” He insists.

Yeonjun’s mouth feels like cement.

He should tell Beomgyu now. It would be the right thing to do.

He opens his mouth to do as much but falters when he sees Beomgyu looking up at him with wide eyes.

Big, brown eyes that have cried on Yeonjun’s behalf whenever things went wrong for him. Eyes that light up whenever he makes a bad joke. Eyes that can tell what’s wrong with him just by a single glance.

Eyes he can’t afford to lose over a kiss that didn’t mean anything. 

“Let’s just forget about it,” Yeonjun swallows. “Please?”

“Okay,” Beomgyu agrees.

And maybe Yeonjun’s a horrible person but he allows himself this small happiness of sleeping beside his best friend.

Even if he doesn’t deserve it.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“Jesus Hyung, what happened to your face?” Beomgyu asks him the next morning.

Before Soobin’s parents left they told him he could take the Sunday they came back off so Yeonjun decided to spend it with Beomgyu. 

Currently, the two of them are eating waffles in Beomgyu’s kitchen for breakfast and Beomgyu only just noticed Yeonjun’s bruise courtesy of Yeonjun’s dad.

“I got jumped one night on my way home from the bakery,” Yeonjun says casually with a shrug.

Beomgyu freezes with his fork midair. “You got jumped?”

“Yeah.”

“Hyung?” Beomgyu implores, face full of concern.

Yeonjun feels a pang of guilt that he pushes aside with a bite of a waffle.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Beomgyu asks when Yeonjun doesn’t say anything.

“Not a big deal,” Yeonjun mutters. “Just punched and kicked me a few times that’s all.”

“But-” 

“Beommie I’m fine, okay?” Yeonjun insists. “They didn’t even take anything.”

Beomgyu looks at him doubtfully but decides to let it go. 

“I got you something,” He tells Yeonjun when they’re back upstairs after eating.

Yeonjun looks down at him questiongly and Beomgyu gets up from where he lays on Yeonjun’s lap to pull something out of his drawer. 

He sits cross legged across from Yeonjun and presents a box to him. Yeonjun gives him a confused look but all Beomgyu does is nod his head encouragingly.

He shrugs and opens the sleek black box to find two silver necklaces which leaves him even more confused.

“You know how our heads fit perfectly together?” Beomgyu reminds him as he carefully takes out one of the necklaces.

Yeonjun laughs.

During one of their hair dyeing escapades, Beomgyu had pointed out that Yeonjun’s head was slightly dented and that it perfectly fit the bump Beomgyu has on his head. Yeonjun had said that it reminded him of something he had seen in a movie once that had to do with the two of them being bonded.

“Well it turns out that it’s the same for the moons on our birthdays,” Beomgyu explains and places one necklace in the palm of Yeonjun’s hand and the other in his own. 

Both necklaces are silver and dainty little things but the moon on Yeonjun’s necklace is a pretty crescent while Beomgyu’s is a gibbous. 

Beomgyu places his necklace on Yeonjun’s hand and the two moons fit perfectly.

Just like their stupid, badly shaped heads.

“I was meant to give it to you before I left but well,” Beomgyu sighs.

Yeonjun stares long and hard at the necklaces.

There’s a lump in his throat. 

“Beomgyu-ah…” 

“If you don’t like it you don’t have to wear it,” He looks away and brushes the back of his neck with his hand.

“Aish,” Yeonjun mutters, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Look who’s being the stupid one now.”

Yeonjun wastes no time in putting it on and then looks up at Beomgyu and does the same for him.

He holds his moon in one hand and touches Beomgyu’s lightly. “I love it, Beomgyu-ah.”

Beomgyu gives him a bright smile and Yeonjun thinks that he really is the most awful person in the world.

“Oh how was your dad’s birthday? Was Soobin scared away by your dad?” Beomgyu jokes, laying back down on Yeonjun’s lap.

Yeonjun winces. “It was okay.”

Beomgyu glances up. “Just okay? Nothing spicy happened?”

Yeonjun clears his throat and looks away. “You know how these things usually go Beomgyu-ah.”

He shrugs. “Do you have a picture of you in your outfit at least?”

“Oh yeah, Seri made us take one together. Hold on…”

Yeonjun whips out his phone and tries to find the picture in his gallery. Not that it’s that much of a trouble considering his gallery is just filled with random pictures of Beomgyu for the most part. 

“Here,” He says and passes the phone to Beomgyu who lets out a gasp.

“What?” Yeonjun puzzles, taking another look at the picture. Nothing is too special about it, it’s just him and Soobin looking rather awkward against the background of a wall of flowers that Seri had arranged for his dad’s birthday.

“Uh nothing,” Beomgyu says quickly, passing the phone back to him. His ears are red. “You guys look nice.”

Yeonjun smiles and tugs at Beomgyu’s ear. “Rendered speechless by a Choi Soobin perhaps?”

Beomgyu swats his hand away and Yeonjun can’t help but laugh. 

He can’t even blame Beomgyu though because he too hadn’t been able to say anything when Soobin had walked out of his house. He looked better than any of the models Yeonjun had met that modeled for Seri.

“Hey Hyung,” Beomgyu brings his attention back to the present.

Yeonjun tugs at a lock of his hair softly to indicate that he’s listening. 

“Have you ever been camping?”

“My dad never took me so no,” He answers Beomgyu without much thought as to where the conversation is going.

“I think we should go,” Beomgyu sits up and looks at him insistently.

“All of a sudden?” Yeonjun questions. 

“It came to me this week,” Beomgyu explains, taking Yeonjun’s hand. “It was really nice to get away from everything but it would be better if you were there too.”

Yeonjun’s face softens. “Beomgyu-ah that sounds nice but I don’t have a lot of money right now.”

He waves his hand dismissively. “That won’t be a problem. I was thinking about inviting other people too so we could all just chip in.”

Yeonjun knows well who the other people in question are but he asks anyway. “Other people?”

“Taehyun-ah, Kai and Soobin Hyung!” He’s jumping in excitement now at the thought of it all. “Just the five of us, it would be fun don’t you think?”

Fun is one way to put it, Yeonjun thinks.

“They probably won’t wanna come BG so don’t get your hopes up so soon,” Yeonjun tries to calm him down.

As it turns out, Yeonjun was wrong.

“That sounds really fun Hyung, I’d love to!” Kai bounces with just as much, maybe more, excitement than Beomgyu did a few days ago when he proposed the idea to Yeonjun. 

“I know! What about you two?” Beomgyu asks, looking to Taehyun and Soobin.

They’re all lounging on the grass on the library lawns having already started university again after their short break.

It’s the first time Yeonjun’s seen Soobin since the day at his house with Jaeyong. 

Soobin and Taehyun stare at each other, a silent conversation that nobody else (except maybe Kai) can seem to grasp.

“Just us five?” Taehyun asks eventually.

Beomgyu nods his head enthusiastically.

“When?” Soobin inquires.

“Well I was thinking this weekend before the semester starts picking up again,” Beomgyu suggests. “I know it’s short notice but if we leave Friday afternoon and come back Sunday it could be cool.”

The thought of being in a remote area with just Beomgyu was fine to Yeonjun but both Beomgyu and Soobin? The guilt would eat him up alive. 

Even now he’s having trouble looking at Soobin with Beomgyu beside him.

“I have to work BG,” Yeonjun pipes up. “I forgot about the bakery when you first asked but I don’t think I’d be able to come.”

Beomgyu’s face falls and even if Yeonjun can’t look Soobin in the eye anymore, he’d quit his job to go camping just to see the crestfallen look leave Beomgyu’s face.

“Ah you can go without me,” He tries to tell Beomgyu. “You’d have lots of fun with-”

“My parents would give you the weekend off,” Soobin chips in.

Yeonjun pauses and forces himself to look at Soobin. 

Soobin fiddles with his fingers but eventually looks up and locks eyes with Yeonjun. “Especially since you looked after the bakery last week alone.”

Before Yeonjun can respond Beomgyu jumps up. “See! Hyungie it’s perfect you could come with.”

Maybe Yeonjun shouldn’t have spoken so soon.

Soobin’s still looking at him. 

Yeonjun’s hand goes to his necklace and he looks back at Beomgyu who looks at him pleadingly, puppy dog brown eyes and all.

Yeonjun can never say no to him, even if he tried.

“Well, what about you two?” Yeonjun asks, turning his attention to Taehyun and Soobin.

Taehyun looks at Soobin who shrugs and looks away then he grins at Beomgyu who squeals in excitement.

Looks like they’re going camping.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

If Yeonjun has to pinpoint a time when he started spiraling and started making one poor decision after the other, it would be the Wednesday night before they leave for camping.

The five of them spent the Tuesday planning their camping trip to the tee (Beomgyu and Kai’s excitement are largely to blame) so for the rest of the week they focus on university work in hopes of having no worries on the weekend.

Yeonjun doesn’t try to avoid Soobin but it doesn’t seem to matter because they only share two classes one of which the rest of the guys have so he doesn’t have to speak to him directly.

Criminology is a little bit awkward to say the least but after a while Soobin decides to just not sit next to Yeonjun and that makes everything significantly easier.

Yeonjun can’t say he isn’t a little put off by it but he can’t blame Soobin.

If somebody kissed him and dipped he also wouldn’t know how to act.

And even though he misses Soobin a little more than he’d like to admit, the necklace around his neck serves as a constant reminder for him.

Distance is key if he wants to keep Beomgyu in his life.

It works up until Wednesday night.

True to his word, Soobin’s parents gladly let Yeonjun take the weekend off when he asked if he could. They were even more willing after they found out it was for camping and that Soobin would be coming with.

“He doesn’t get out of the house enough,” His mother had tsked.

So Yeonjun was full out of excuses and he would be going camping on Friday.

He opens the door of his house after a long shift at the bakery that Wednesday. There were two rather annoying customers who had complained about nobody answering their phone calls and complained excessively about the lack of professionalism.

It turned out that they had been calling the wrong number the entire time, but that didn’t stop them from being downright awful to Yeonjun.

To say at the very least, he was tired and looking forward to sitting on his bed and doing nothing before he stayed up to finish some work.

He finds his mother sitting in front of the TV, a bottle of very expensive wine open in front of her.

That was the first tell sign that something was wrong.

The next is that when he approaches his mother, he can see that she’s clearly been crying from the tear stains on her cheeks but now, all he sees on her face is a blank expression.

One Yeonjun’s become too familiar with.

“Mum?” He calls out lightly and crouches down in front of her, blocking the TV screen that’s spewing nonsense from some soap opera.

She merely tilts her head to see the TV better.

Yeonjun pries the remote out of her stiff hands and turns the TV off. “We can’t afford that wine. What are you doing?” 

“We can’t afford anything anymore,” She states monotonously, eyes still on the TV.

Yeonjun knows what she means but he refuses to believe it.

“Mum? What happened? Please look at me,” He begs.

She peels her eyes away from the TV and looks at Yeonjun, eyes dim. Her hand touches his cheek where the bruise from his father is now slowly fading.

“Did he do that?” She asks, voice more curious than concerned.

He takes her hands in his. “Mum. Please. What happened?” 

She smiles sadly at him. “I got retrenched.”

Part of Yeonjun had known.

His mother had been slacking on groceries for a while now and he noticed her coming home much earlier than normally.

But hearing it out loud is a different thing. 

“Okay,” Is all that comes out of his mouth.

Then again, “Okay.” 

His mother doesn’t make any indication to move. Normally he’d take her to bed and stay up to find another job.

Instead he gets up robotically, as if his body is being controlled on its own, and goes to his room. He stares at the ceiling for a long time. He can hear the static from the TV that his mother probably turned back on once he left.

He’s supposed to figure out what to do. Come up with a plan, just like he always does.

But he doesn’t want to.

All he can think about is how tired he is.

_ So  _ tired.

For a stupid moment he had allowed himself to think that everything would be okay.

He sits up and tries to pull his hoodie off because it’s suddenly too hot and he can’t breathe. It catches on his necklace and Yeonjun lets out a noise of frustration and yanks hard enough that the hoodie finally comes off.

He stares down at his chest and the silver necklace that glints under his bedroom light.

How much did this cost?

It’s unfair.

Beomgyu has two parents who love him with stable jobs. He never has to worry about putting food on the table at the end of the day. He doesn’t have to go home and hope that his mother didn’t give up on living.

He gets to have crushes and plans camping trips with friends because what else is there to worry about? 

He buys necklaces that probably cost money Yeonjun could use to buy food for the house.

Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s grabbing his phone and putting it to his ear, waiting for the person on the other end of the phone to pick up.

He probably won’t answer, Yeonjun realizes.

Why would he? They’ve been avoiding each other this entire time, there is no logical reason the other would pick-

“...Hello?”

Soobin’s voice is soft.

Yeonjun’s stomach does a flip. “I…”

What is he supposed to say? His mouth feels dry and everything feels too hot. He needs to get out of here.

“Can you... can you please come get me? I’m- I need to not be here.”

The words are heavy on his tongue and there’s a long silence over the phone.

“Text me your address,” Is all Yeonjun hears before the line goes dead.

Since he can’t be bothered to find a fake address this time round, he sends Soobin his real one and goes to sit outside on the curb.

It’s cold but he sits and shivers as he waits for Soobin. 

He sees two headlights appear in the distance after ten minutes and stands up once Soobin pulls up to the curb right in front of him. 

He’s freezing by the time he gets into the car. 

“Hyung are you crazy?” Soobin mutters, shooting Yeonjun an incredulous look as he pulls away. “It’s cold outside.”

Yeonjun can only stare at the passing streetlights in response.

“Where do you wanna go?” Soobin whispers, voice barely audible over the sound of the engine.

“Anywhere but my house.”

Soobin doesn’t ask why the house he just picked Yeonjun up at isn’t the same as the other house he usually picked Yeonjun up at when they carpooled together. He merely nods his head and looks straight ahead, driving them away from Yeonjun’s house and its problems.  Soobin ends up driving them back to his house but when Yeonjun makes his way to the front door, assuming they’re going to his room, Soobin shakes his head and leads them around to the back of the house. 

There, he takes a ladder that rests on the floor and props it up so that it leans against the wall. Once he’s climbed up, he offers a hand down to Yeonjun who follows in his footsteps and accepts the hand gratefully. 

“I was sitting here when you called,” Soobin explains when Yeonjun notes the blanket and pillow casually sitting atop the roof.

“I’m sorry I bothered you so late at night,” Yeonjun apologizes as he takes a seat next to Soobin. 

He shrugs and rests back on his hands as he looks up at the stars. “Why did you call me?”

How is Yeonjun supposed to answer that when he himself doesn’t have an answer to it?

Why  _ did  _ he call Soobin?

If he could describe that hearing Soobin’s voice calms something inside of him and makes the bad disappear for a bit he would but all he can manage to say is, “I wanted to see you.”

If he replaced the want with need Yeonjun would be telling the truth.

Soobin keeps his eyes pinned to the sky. “Well I’m here.”

A plain statement that feels much more loaded than it’s supposed to.

“My dad found out that I work at the bakery,” Yeonjun voices aloud, following Soobin in looking at the sky. 

“Is that a bad thing?” Soobin sounds confused.

“For a normal parent, no. They’d probably be happy that their child is holding their own weight,” Yeonjun voices, a tinge of bitterness in his voice. “But my dad’s not like that.

He can see Soobin’s perplexed face in the corner of his face. 

“My dad’s always been about holding up a reputation. I’ve never understood it but it’s why he claimed me as his son after so long… he didn’t want people to think he’s hiding a child. Being his son means being connected to him and his reputation.

“Everything my dad does for me is to uphold his reputation of being this perfect man with a perfect family. His wife is a well known fashion designer, he has a little son who is no doubt going to grow up to inherit his company and then there’s me. My mum had me when she was pretty young and my dad didn’t plan for it. I took up too much time, and money, so he left. Once he made it big he came back.”

He pauses.

He’s never truly spoken about his dad to anybody.

Not even Beomgyu knows the full story, just bits and pieces. 

Too late to turn back now.

“He told me he’d help my mum and I but on a few conditions. I give up dancing and study something more stable. I agreed because my mum needed the money, she was struggling so much. But it came with other problems too. I had to play the part of his perfect life. My car? Just something my dad gave me so that if anybody important recognized me they’d see the perfect family my dad wants them to see.”

Soobin catches on. “Somebody at the party recognized you working at the bakery.”

Yeonjun nods head. “I never thought working at bakery would be a problem. Everybody my dad acquaints himself with doesn’t bother with businesses like your parents’ bakery, you know the small ones that are affordable for everyday people. But somebody must have recognized me and told my dad. He wasn’t happy to say the least.”

Soobin lets out a gasp of understanding. “That’s why he hit you.”

“Me working at a bakery doesn’t align with his perfect family ideal. He told me to quit before he cuts me off for good.”

“And are you? Quitting I mean,” Soobin asks cautiously.

“I wasn’t going to. Not at first, anyway,” Yeonjun looks down at his pair of worn out sneakers. His mother had bought them for one of his birthdays. “I figured that my mum’s job and my job at the bakery is enough to keep us afloat.”

“That’s good then!” Soobin exclaims, getting carried away. “Right? You could cut your dad off.”

Yeonjun finally drags his eyes to Soobin who looks at him with hopeful eyes.

He didn’t realize the two of them had gotten so close.

Yeonjun smiles bitterly. “My mum lost her job today, Soobin-ah. I’m worse off than before."

Just like that, Soobin’s face falls and it pains Yeonjun so much that he reaches out a hand instinctively to cup the taller’s cheek.

He expects Soobin to pull away but he just leans into the touch and covers Yeonjun’s hand with his own.

“Junie…”

“I’ll be fine,” He mumbles, caressing Soobin’s cheek with his thumb.

“Does Beomgyu-ah know?” Soobin whispers.

Yeonjun shakes his head. “He knows how manipulative my dad is and the situation with my mum but he doesn’t know everything.”

“So he doesn’t know your dad hits you?”

Yeonjun winces at the blunt phrasing. “I told him I got jumped the other day."

Soobin’s face takes a whole new level of crestfallen. 

Before he can say anything, Yeonjun scoots closer to him. “I can’t tell him, Binnie. H-he worries about me too much already. I see it, he gives up so much to be my friend. If I told him this it would be too much."

Soobin heaves a heavy sigh. “Then why are you telling me, Junie?”

Truthfully, Yeonjun doesn’t know.

He looks down and tries to put something into words- how the moment felt right to him or maybe that the minute his mum told him the news all he wanted to do was be with Soobin.

But when he looks up again, his eyes catch on Soobin’s lips and his mind goes blank. 

_ Stop that _ , he scolds himself.

He forces his eyes up and finds a strange look on Soobin’s face. 

“Why did you tell me?” Soobin insists, leaning closer.

Part of Yeonjun’s brain is yelling at him to pull back but the stronger part that always makes an appearance when he’s with Soobin ignores it and Yeonjun leans in closer to Soobin.

“I just…” He feels short of breath with Soobin this close.

“You just…” Soobin trails off so close now that Yeonjun can feel his warm breath on his face.

“I just  _ need  _ you,” He finally breathes out.

“I’m right here,” Soobin whispers before connecting their lips. 

If their first kiss was hot and desperate, this one is slow and full of longing.

Yeonjun’s cheek is still cupped in Soobin’s hand but when Yeonjun pulls him closer, it slips down to his neck. Yeonjun takes his time this time round, the heat rising in his chest almost insufferable as he feels the softness of Soobin’s lips against his. 

And he should stop.

He really  _ really  _ should stop.

But when he hears Soobin’s little gasp and feels his fingers dig a little deeper into his neck when he bites the taller’s lip, all he does is deepen the kiss.

Because this is it.

Nothing else matters anymore.

Any thoughts about his father and his mother leave Yeonjun’s brain to be replaced by the smell of Soobin and the feel of him against Yeonjun.

The more he kisses Soobin the more awful of a person Yeonjun becomes but when they finally pull away and he sees Soobin’s pink and slick mouth accompanied by the dazed look in his eyes, he thinks that maybe being an awful person isn’t so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everybody worried abt the angst- you'll have a few brief moments of peace in the next few chapters (kinda) so worry not.  
> let's all watch as everybody makes terrible decisions in the meantime.  
> hope it was enjoyable and please let me know your thoughts!!  
> enjoy your weekend and i'll see you all on monday <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooooo <3  
> i was with my beta reader when they read this part, 5 points to anybody who can guess which part they yelled at me for.  
> anyways- another chapter of bad decisions, let's get into it.

**Chapter 12**

Yeonjun didn’t plan for kissing Soobin to become a habit.

And it wasn’t.

…Right up until the camping trip.

The thing that nobody ever tells you about betrayal is that it gets easier the more you do it.

When he wakes up on Thursday morning little time is spent thinking about Beomgyu and more about Soobin’s lips.  He can’t even avoid Soobin for that long because Beomgyu calls for a group meeting that Thursday evening just to make sure that everything is in order before they leave tomorrow afternoon.

He does try his best to focus on whatever Beomgyu’s saying but he feels Soobin’s eyes on him at some point and catches the taller staring at his lips.

Soobin blushes and looks away pointedly but Yeonjun can’t help but feel a rush and he smirks to himself. 

“…or we’ll just starve I guess,” Beomgyu’s annoyed voice catches Yeonjun’s attention.

Yeonjun looks up to see that everybody, save for Soobin, is looking at him expectantly.

“Huh?” He blurts out rather stupidly.

“What is with you today?” Beomgyu snaps, frowning at Yeonjun. “You keep on spacing out and haven’t listened to anything I’ve said since we started.”

“Sorry,” Yeonjun mumbles, brushing the back of his neck. “I’m paying attention now. What did you say?”

Beomgyu narrows his eyes at Yeonjun but he keeps a blank face. 

“We were talking about who’s going to do the cooking and Soobin suggested you do it,” Beomgyu pushes on, regardless of his annoyance at his friend.

“Oh. Yeah, of course,” Yeonjun answers breezily.

Beomgyu shoots him one last look before carrying on with his last minute checklist. Yeonjun listens to Beomgyu to avoid upsetting his friend further but manages to steal a few glances at Soobin every now and then.

Once Beomgyu wraps up, they greet each other goodbye with hugs (Soobin and Yeonjun hanging onto each other for a beat too long) and part ways.

Beomgyu is silent the entire ride to Yeonjun’s house.

“BG come on,” He begs when they pull up outside Yeonjun’s house. “I said I’m sorry.”

“If you didn’t want to come with you could’ve just said so,” He mumbles, looking out the window.

“That’s not fair, Beommie,” Yeonjun says with a frown. “Of course I want to come.”

Beomgyu whirls on him, his cheeks red with anger. Yeonjun has to resist smiling or laughing. He forgets how cute Beomgyu can look when he’s upset.

“You weren’t paying attention to anything I was saying!” He points out angrily.

“It’s not because I don’t want to come!” Yeonjun insists, brushing Beomgyu’s newly dyed brown hair out of his face. “I just have a lot going on in my head today.”

“Like?” Beomgyu questions, unimpressed.

_ Soobin _ , he almost says before he catches himself.

He swallows his guilt and clears his throat. “My mother.”

At that, Beomgyu’s face softens and wow, Yeonjun really is a terrible person for this.

“Is she still slacking on groceries?” Beomgyu asks, no trace of anger or annoyance in his voice anymore. 

Yeonjun nods his head and Beomgyu puts his head in his hands. “I’m sorry for getting upset, I’m just…” Yeonjun waits patiently for him to gather his thoughts but he ends up shaking his head and smiles instead. “Nothing. I’m just in a weird mood lately.”

“Are you sure?” Yeonjun asks, reaching out to tickle the younger just under his chin. “You can tell me anything, you know.”

For a heartbeat it almost seems like Beomgyu is going to say something but in the end he just smiles. “I know. See you tomorrow?”

Yeonjun considers pushing but settles for pinching Beomgyu’s cheek instead before jumping out the car. “See you tomorrow,"

His smile lasts all of five seconds before he walks into his house and sees his mother slumming on the same spot on the couch she was on yesterday.

“It’s late, Mum,” He tells her, turning off theTV and confiscating the second bottle of wine she managed to get a hold of.

She doesn’t respond but allows Yeonjun to carry her to bed and tuck her in. He pauses at the door on his way out, his hand hovering just above the light switch.

“I’m going camping tomorrow,” He tells her in hopes of getting a reaction. “I’ll be gone for three days.”

His mother just blinks.

He sighs.

“Goodnight, mum,” He says softly before clicking the lights off and heading to his room.

His hand moves on its own accord when it pulls out his phone and dials Soobin’s number.   


“Junie?”

“Am I a terrible person for leaving my mum in this state and going camping?” He blurts.

“You’re not a terrible person, Junie,” Soobin insists. “What-”

A door opens in the background and Yeonjun can hear the sound of Soobin’s mother on the other side of the door.

“Hold on,” Soobin groans and Yeonjun has to bite back his laughter as he hears Soobin shoo his mother away. “NO, I don’t want to watch another cake decorating tutorial Ma,  _ please  _ I’m on the phone...”

He manages to get her out of his room after some more shooing and slams the door shut. “I’m sorry,” He apologizes.

Yeonjun can imagine his ears turning red and he bites his lip to keep from smiling.

“But I was going to ask what you mean by ‘this state’?” He continues.

Yeonjun runs a hand through his hair. “Remember how I mentioned how I learned to cook?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s because my mother does this thing where she just… shuts down. She doesn’t do anything- eat, leave the house, nothing. She just sits in front of the TV for days. When I was younger the only thing that used to snap her out of it was when I’d cry because I was hungry or something. Now though...”

“Oh,” Soobin’s voice is small. “I understand.”

And Yeonjun knows he does because the only reason Yeonjun was able to take care of Soobin that week when everybody was away was because he had had too much practice from his own mother.

Which reminds him...

“Hey, are you doing okay?” Yeonjun asks. 

“Me?” Soobin sounds bewildered. “I’m fine, why are you asking?”

“I was just… thinking about last week,” Yeonjun settles on saying.

“Ah,” Soobin realizes, sounding a little embarrassed. “I’m okay, it comes and goes.”

“I get that,” Yeonjun whispers.

“But,” Soobin says, steering the conversation back onto Yeonjun. “We were talking about you, so. Let me ask you- do you want to go on the camping trip?”

“Well yeah,” Yeonjun admits. “Getting away from everything with you would be nice.”

“Uh,” Soobin coughs. “Do you mean getting away from everything with everybody else would be nice?”

“That too, I guess,” Yeonjun acknowledges.

Soobin goes silent and because he can’t help himself, Yeonjun adds, “One flirt and you’re speechless but your mouth always has so much more to say when it’s on mine-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP,” Soobin yells.

Yeonjun pouts. “Do I get a kiss for listening if I do?”

“I swear to God, I will put down right now,” Soobin threatens.

Yeonjun can’t hold back his laughter anymore and begins laughing, a stitch forming right below his ribs. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry, I’ll stop.”

“Anyway,” Soobin grumbles. “I think if you want to come on the camping trip you should. I don’t know a lot of how you’ve handled things with your mum but you don’t have to always sacrifice everything for other people. You deserve nice things too.”

Something about the sincerity of the statement renders Yeonjun speechless.

Why is he always struggling to think around Soobin?

“But with that in mind,” Soobin carries on. “If it’ll make you too anxious leaving her alone then you could stay. I know if you explained it to Beomgyu he’d understand.”

He’s right about that. Beomgyu would be the first one to tell him to stay home.

But Yeonjun’s mind keeps circling back to Soobin’s first point.

_ You deserve nice things too. _

“I want to come,” He decides after a long moment. 

“Then come, Junie,” Soobin whispers. “Your mum will be okay at the end of the day, believe me.”

And Yeonjun does believe him.

“Okay,” Yeonjun agrees.

“Okay,” Soobin repeats and Yeonjun can hear the smile in his voice.

“Does this mean we’re going to share the same tent?” Yeonjun wonders, half a joke, half an actual question.

“Well! Looks like I have to go now, happy packing!” Soobin exclaims before ending the call.

Yeonjun chuckles. 

“See you tomorrow, Dimples,” He says to himself before he starts packing.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“Kai you know I love you but please give the directions to Beomgyu-ah. I don’t want Taehyun to kill us all when you accidentally make him take a wrong turn and he tries to strangle you,” Soobin pleads.

With much reluctance, Kai climbs out of the passenger seat and lets Beomgyu sit there instead.

“You can have the entire backseat to yourself,” Soobin points out as he pats Kai’s back when he climbs over the seat to reach the back. 

Kai doesn’t seem to mind all that much when he curls up freely and shuts his eyes.

They’re all taking one car to get to the camping spot and Taehyun’s parents were kind enough to lend them their minivan for the weekend so there was enough space for all five of them.  Up front, Taehyun sits behind the driver’s wheel where Beomgyu now sits next to him to help with directions.

With Kai in the very back, it leaves Soobin and Yeonjun to sit next to each other. They had left the seat between them open to allow for space if either of them decided to sleep on the ride. Yeonjun doesn’t know if it’s a conscious effort on Soobin’s part or not but his hand inches closer and closer to Yeonjun’s hand until their fingertips brush.

Yeonjun looks up to check if anybody notices anything but Huening Kai is fast asleep now and Taehyun is focused on following Beomgyu’s directions so they’re safe.

He decides, fuck it, and hooks their pinkies together.

He risks glancing at Soobin but the taller is deliberately looking outside the window at the passing by trees, though Yeonjun notices that his ears are significantly redder which makes Yeonjun smile.

They stay like that for most of the car ride and if Soobin ever disconnects their hands to gesture at something outside, he always brings it back down and rehooks their pinkies.

Eventually though, he grows tired, along with Beomgyu, and drifts off to sleep.

“Beomgyu-ah,” Yeonjun sighs. “I can see you struggling to read the directions. Please take a break and sleep, I’ll move to the middle and help Taehyun-ah.”

Beomgyu protests for a bit but after making Taehyun take one wrong turn too many, he relents and passes the phone to Yeonjun as he makes himself comfortable to take a nap.

Yeonjun moves away from the window and shifts to the middle so that he can see the road more clearly and so that Taehyun can hear him clearly. With the rest of the car asleep, it just leaves the two of them awake.

He’s never been alone with Taehyun, having had no reason to but also because Kai always seemed to be attached to his hip. Yeonjun thinks back to his very first impressions of the three of them.

To Yeonjun, Kai seemed as friendly as can be, more easy going than Beomgyu even. Even though he never gave much thought to the younger, he always had respect for him. He seemed to be the only person at one point that didn’t look at Yeonjun like he was a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

He had always thought of Taehyun as smart and leaning to the cold side. Yeonjun had noticed how he answered questions in class and always shot down ridiculous ideas. He had thought Taehyun hated him like everybody else but after becoming friends with him, Yeonjun just realized that his face just came off as the judging type because of his big eyes.

As for Soobin, Yeonjun hadn’t liked him at all. Beomgyu would rave about his crush and Yeonjun would block it out because he could tell that Soobin had a disdain for him right off the bat.

He glances at the sleeping giant curled up into himself beside him.

So much has changed since that first day they found out they’d be working together in the bakery.

“It’s weird, I know,” Taehyun voices the thoughts floating around in Yeonjun’s head.

He doesn’t bother asking the younger how he knew what Yeonjun was thinking. Taehyun just seemed that observant.

“Really weird actually,” Yeonjun admits. “Take a right up ahead.”

After Taehyun does what he’s told, he glances into the rearview mirror and smiles at Yeonjun. “I’m glad I was right about you.”

When Yeonjun gives him a puzzled look, Taehyun shrugs and goes on to elaborate. “Kai and I told Soobin Hyung that the rumors probably weren’t true.”

Yeonjun can’t say that he isn’t shocked by Taehyun’s words. “Really?”

He’s become accustomed to people assuming the worst of him that it always surprises him when it doesn’t turn out the way he imagined. 

Taehyun nods his head and waits to respond after he changes lanes. “Soobin Hyung wasn’t so convinced, and considering what he heard...”

Yeonjun nods his head in understanding.

Mina’s drama was just assumed to be the source of most of the distrust he received.

“I hope you don’t hold it against him,” Taehyun goes on to say. “It’s ingrained in Hyung’s brain to be cautious of everybody.”

“I get that,” Yeonjun murmurs.

The car jumps a little and Soobin startles awake for a moment.

He looks left, then right and decides that there is no real danger and goes right back to sleep, this time curling up against Yeonjun’s side and resting his head soundly on the older’s shoulder.

Taehyun chuckles and smiles, looking at this friend in the rearview mirror as Yeonjun wills his cheeks to not heat up. 

“I wanted to say thank you too,” Taehyun announces after a few turns.

“For?”

“Hyung told me that you watched out for him the week he was alone.” 

“Oh,” Yeonjun realizes. He wonders if Soobin told his friends about the kiss then too. “It was nothing, I’m just glad he’s doing better recently.”

“Still,” Taehyun says with a shrug. “Thank you for caring, not everybody does.”

Yeonjun gives him a two fingered salute and a smile as a response.

“Do you like him?”

It catches Yeonjun off guard but he forces his face to stay natural and deflects the question the best way possible. “Of course I do, I wouldn’t let him drool on my shoulder otherwise.”

Taehyun merely snorts. “I see.”

And because Yeonjun does not like the way his tone indicates that he knows more than Yeonjun himself, he goes one step further with the deflection. “Sorry if this is prying but the night we bumped into each other at the convenience store I overheard you and Bin- I mean Dimples in the car. When I asked him at home he said you’re going through a heartbreak. Are you doing any better?”

Taehyun grimaces and clenches his fists around the wheel but doesn’t sound upset when he answers Yeonjun. “Ever do something that you know could blow up in your face later but you continue to do it because it’s, I don’t know, fun? Exciting? Thrilling? In the moment.”

Yeonjun sees Soobin laying below him with a slick and bruised mouth, his blazer discarded to the side.

He swallows. “Yeah.”

“Well exactly that,” Taehyun mutters and glances at Beomgyu snoring lightly beside him.

Even though it was a dead giveaway at the time, it doesn’t click for Yeonjun until much later.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“Okay Taehyunnie don’t yell but I think I forgot to pack a sleeping bag. Or two,” Kai hides behind Soobin as he breaks the news but it doesn't stop Taehyun from glaring at him.

“Well what is it? One or two?”

“If I said two would you be mad? If so, then my answer is one,” Kai reasons.

“Kai, you had  _ one  _ job,” Taehyun slaps his forehead as he rummages through the bag while the rest of them set up the two tents.

Yeonjun tries to keep from laughing as he watches Taehyun launch at Kai who yelps and dashes away.

“Aish,” Soobin mutters under his breath when Taehyun tackles Kai to the ground. “Taehyun-ah don’t kill him! Help us put the tents up instead, we’ll figure sleeping arrangements out later.”

Kai gets away with a hard pinch on his cheek which he rubs ruefully as he comes to stand beside Yeonjun and assists in connecting the legs of the tent.

“You’ll be thanking me later,” He mutters.

Yeonjun is too busy struggling with the tent to pay much attention to anything else. He feels a surge of anger towards his dad suddenly.

Maybe if he wasn’t an absolute tool and went camping and did whatever else dads who love their sons do Yeonjun would not be close to ripping the tent apart with his bare hands.

“Hyungie,” Beomgyu walks over to Yeonjun. “You’re not trying to break the tent, you’re trying to set it up.”

He grunts and dumps the pieces in Beomgyu’s hands. “Whatever. I’ll just go set up food so long.”

He leaves it up to Beomgyu and makes his way to their food supplies. With the sun down so low already, they can’t go out and do much exploring. 

They’d arrived just as the sun was setting, casting everything it touched in a stunning orange glow. The camping site Beomgyu had chosen was one he’d been to with his dad before so there were bathrooms (thankfully) at the main lodge where all the rangers stayed. 

It was a quick drive from where they chose to set up and not too much of a lengthy walk so it wouldn’t be a mission if somebody needed to go. The camping site in general was also significantly hotter than back home so everybody was wearing summery clothes and tons of sunblock.

The spot they chose was close to a fresh water river so among the sound of birds chirping and the buzzing of the cicadas, they could hear the calming sound of the river flowing nearby. They’d also chosen a spot that had flat enough ground with thick trees looming over them so that in case it rained, they wouldn’t be hit with too much damage.

Overall, the spot was pretty good and he finds himself being thankful to Beomgyu as he cooks the meat over the grill stand they had gotten from the lodge. 

It’s dark and cool by the time Yeonjun finishes cooking dinner with minor assistance from Kai who tries his best to avoid Taehyun. 

They huddle around the fire Taehyun had managed to set up with their food and just enjoy each other’s company. 

He keeps catching Soobin’s eyes across the fire and he’s thankful that the orange glow and the lick of the flame hides his cheeks because Soobin keeps staring at his lips. It’s not even just here around the fire he notices it- it happened when they were eating, in the car ride on the way here and Yeonjun doesn’t know if he’s doing it on purpose or not but every time he catches Soobin, he wants to punch a wall. 

He also tries his very best to ignore the way Beomgyu throws himself onto Soobin’s lap every time he laughs. There’s no reason for it to bother him so he places his focus elsewhere

His eyes stray to Huening Kai at first but finds that his eyes are on Taehyun whose eyes are on…

“ _OH_ ,” Yeonjun gasps, realization hitting him square in the face.

He thought it had been a soft gasp to himself but everybody stops and looks at him in concern. 

He coughs and stands up. “Sorry, uh, I’m going to go to the bathroom.”

Without another word, he leaves the four of them to themselves and he begins his trek to nowhere because he doesn’t actually need the bathroom.

He whips his phone out to use as a torch so he won’t get lost in the dark and tries his best to make a path. 

Taehyun likes Beomgyu.

Yeonjun can’t be sure but something about the way Taehyun had been looking at Beomgyu just now seemed alarmingly familiar.

As if confirming his suspicions, he hears quick footsteps coming up behind him and turns around to flash his light on none other than Taehyun.

“Sorry Hyung,” He pants, a little out of breath. “Decided I need the bathroom too.”

And it’s a chance that could end up with upsetting Taehyun but he takes it anyway and says, “Needed the bathroom or needed to get away?” 

Taehyun stares at him warily. “What would I need to get away from?”

Yeonjun shrugs his shoulders and continues walking. “Beomgyu throwing himself at Dimples.”

He looks down at the floor and waits for Taehyun to snap at him for being nosy or rude but all he does is sigh.

“Feelings are stupid,” Is all he ends up saying.

So Yeonjun is right.

They walk in silence, the leaves and sticks crunching under their feet. 

“I assume we’re not going to the bathroom,” Taehyun voices after a while. 

“Now what makes you think that?” Yeonjun inquires, swatting a few mosquitoes away.

“One liar recognizes another,” Taehyun responds.

Yeonjun stops and feels Taehyun bump into him. He shines the light into the younger’s big eyes and he squints, his hand coming up instinctively.

“I don’t like anybody,” Yeonjun tells him.

Taehyun folds his arms and looks at Yeonjun with a super unimpressed look. “I didn’t say you did, Hyung.” 

“You called me a liar.”

“Are you?” Taehyun questions, cocking his head to the side.

“No.”

“Then why are you getting defensive?”

He’s got Yeonjun there.

“I just mean that I’m not taking a walk because of my feelings,” Yeonjun chooses to say.

Taehyun snorts. “If you say so.”

He moves past Yeonjun and continues to walk. Yeonjun waits a beat before following.

“Taehyun-ah, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come off as rude,” He apologizes, catching Taehyun’s arm.

“I know, Hyung. Don’t worry,” He reassures Yeonjun softly, hooking their arms so that they don’t lose each other in the dark.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but did you tell Beomgyu-ah?” Yeonjun asks as they continue to walk with no purpose.

“I think he knows,” Taehyun admits softly.

Yeonjun widens his eyes in surprise and waits for an explanation but it doesn’t come. He’s pried enough for tonight though so he won’t ask more questions.

He should talk to Beomgyu.

“Let’s head back before somebody comes to find us,” Yeonjun suggests.

The two of them make their way back slowly, talking about university and other things that aren’t important but feel nice to talk about.

By the time they reach the fire (which isn’t too hard to find because Beomgyu seems to have had a little too much beer) Yeonjun finds that he actually enjoys Taehyun’s company.

“Hyung!” Beomgyu walks over to the two of them and throws his arms around their shoulders.

Kai covers his mouth and giggles. Soobin looks between Taehyun and Yeonjun before looking back into the fire. 

“I am sleepyyy,” Beomgyu announces, resting his head on Yeonjun’s shoulder.

“Aw you guys roasting marshmallows?” Yeonjun whines, eyeing the open packet and sticks.

“Yessir,” Beomgyu slurs. “I am so sleepy. Did I say that already?”

“Let’s get you to bed then,” Yeonjun sighs, shooting a longing look at the marshmallows.

“Hyung, I’ll take him don’t worry,” Taehyun shoulders Beomgyu’s weight so that Yeonjun’s free. 

Before he can protest, Taehyun calls Kai over to help him carry Beomgyu. 

“Taehyunnie and I will take care of Beomgyu Hyung,” Kai reassures him. “I’m tired too. The three of us will take this tent and you and Soobinie Hyung can take the other when you’re done with your marshmallows.”

Yeonjun looks to Soobin to see if he has any protests but the taller just shrugs somewhat helplessly and looks away.

“Okay,” Yeonjun allows. 

He walks to stand in front of Beomgyu whose face is flushed, his eyes already half closed.

“Sleep well BG,” He coos, brushing the hair off his face.

Beomgyu blinks and gives him a lazy smile before his head rolls down. 

“He likes cuddling something to sleep,” Yeonjun tells Taehyun with a wink who turns a shade darker than his previously red dyed hair.

“Okay, come on…” Taehyun heaves a sigh and takes Beomgyu to their tent with the help of Kai.

Yeonjun takes a stick and pokes a marshmallow through it before sitting down next to Soobin and jokes, “Why the long face?”

Soobin looks at him with an unreadable expression before standing up and muttering, “I’m tired.”

Without saying anything else, he disappears into the tent beside the one Taehyun and Huening Kai took Beomgyu into.

Yeonjun blinks.

_ Stark contrast to a few minutes ago when he wouldn’t stop staring at my lips _ , Yeonjun thinks to himself only slightly annoyed.

Regardless, he roasts about five marshmallows and wolfs them down before cleaning up around the fireplace and heading inside the tent.

“Oh wow,” He whispers.

He vaguely remembers Kai mentioning how he had brought some lights to “create a mood” but he hadn’t seen the younger set it up.

It wasn’t anything fancy- just a few fairy lights strung up near the top of the tent -but it definitely makes the tent look more welcoming.

Assuming Soobin is already fast asleep, he tiptoes around the tent to turn the lights off and lays down beside Soobin using his jacket as a pillow so he doesn’t wake the other. The moon is bright enough that he can navigate through the tent easily enough without tripping over something.

As he stares up at the tent he allows himself to think about his mother for the first time since Wednesday. 

What is he going to do?

He’ll have to quit the bakery or find a way to work in secret at the very least. He doesn’t doubt that his dad would send somebody to spy on him. Even if he does continue to work, it won’t be enough for-

“What are you doing?”

Yeonjun startles and bolts upright at the sound of Soobin’s voice.

He looks down to find Soobin laying down on his side facing the older with a frown on his face.

“Trying to sleep?”

“On the floor?” Soobin questions.

“You’re on the floor too,” Yeonjun answers, puzzled.

He can’t be too sure because of the dim light but he thinks he sees Soobin roll his eyes.

“I meant without a sleeping bag,” He points out, shaking the lid of the sleeping bag to make his point.

“Oh!” Yeonjun realizes. “Well there’s only one so I thought you could just use it. And you were sleeping so I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Well,” Soobin says, unzipping the sleeping bag. “We’ve shared a bed before and I’m awake now.”

He holds the cover open in an invitation.

“Right,” Yeonjun agrees and swallows.

They have shared a bed so it shouldn’t be any different, right?

Except it is.

Because they’ve always had space on the bed, even though they’d maybe hold pinkies sometimes. There is no space in the sleeping bag, especially considering how tall the two of them are. They both try sleeping with their backs toward each other but when that doesn’t work, Yeonjun flips to his other side and stares at Soobin’s back.

They’re so closely pressed to each other that Yeonjun can feel Soobin’s body heat roll off of him even through the relatively cold night. He must space out at some point because one moment he was admiring Soobin’s shoulders and the next he’s staring directly into the other’s eyes.

“Hello Dimples,” He greets softly.

“Hi,” Soobin whispers back.

Something about the way he says it makes Yeonjun’s heart double in size. He hesitates before reaching his hand out and twirling a strand of Soobin’s hair. He leans into the touch and shimmies even closer to Yeonjun.

“Do you like Taehyun?” Soobin suddenly blurts out.

Yeonjun can only blink in shock. “Huh?”

“I mean it’s okay if you do,” Soobin begins to ramble. “I get it, he’s very attractive I just think if you do we should-”

“Binnie,” Yeonjun interjects. “Where on Earth did you get that idea?”

“Well you’re always looking at him and that walk you just went on with him just now-” Soobin stops abruptly. “Honestly it sounds dumber out loud.”

Yeonjun laughs and traces a finger down from Soobin’s forehead to his nose. “Is that why you got upset?”

“I was not upset,” Soobin says quickly. 

“Right,” Yeonjun agrees sarcastically, scooting closer to Soobin and throwing his leg over him. “Well, to answer your question, no I don’t like Taehyun-ah.”

Soobin gives him a look that tells Yeonjun he doesn’t believe him.

Yeonjun sighs. “If I liked Taehyun would I do this?”

He leans in and kisses Soobin lightly before pulling away.

“Maybe,” Soobin says weakly. “I don’t know if you’re into that kind of thing.”

“Oh my God Soobin, just come here,” Yeonjun laughs and tugs Soobin closer, meaning to give him another kiss.

Soobin puts his hand on Yeonjun’s mouth and Yeonjun raises his eyebrows.

“Someone might hear us or walk in,” He explains.

“Jeez Soobin you’re loud but not  _ that  _ loud- OUCH!” Yeonjun yelps and rubs his arm where Soobin pinched him hard.

“Shut up,” Soobin mutters and even though it’s dark Yeonjun can tell that his ears are burning. “You’re not allowed to kiss me tonight.”

“Then why did you stare at my lips all day like that?” Yeonjun whines.

“Because,” Soobin murmurs, tracing the shape of Yeonjun’s bottom lip excruciatingly slow. “You have very nice lips.”

“Are you trying to kill me?” Yeonjun mutters and catches Soobin’s hand so that he can hold it instead. “This isn’t fair.”

“Sucks to suck, I guess,” Soobin teases, placing their hands just below his chin.

“Two can play at that game, you know,” Yeonjun counters, using his free hand to lift Soobin’s t-shirt, gently moving down his back.

Soobin catches his breath. “I hate you so much.”

“I know you don’t mean that.”

“I don’t,” Soobin agrees, voice hoarse as Yeonjun moves his hand from Soobin’s back to his chest.

“We should probably sleep,” Yeonjun mumbles, finally resting his hand on Soobin’s hip.

“We should,” Soobin breathes out, his free hand on Yeonjun’s abdomen. 

And they do eventually.

But it’s a slow process because Yeonjun didn’t expect that resisting the urge to kiss Soobin would be this hard.

He ends up watching Soobin drift off first and when he’s sure the other is asleep, he presses a feather light kiss to the other’s forehead.

“Goodnight, Dimples.”

Yeonjun has never considered himself to be dumb.

But as he watches the other sleep, he’s dumb for believing that his feelings were any less real than the tiny scar right above Soobin’s lip.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“I say swim in the river in the afternoon and hike after,” Kai suggests, slurping the coffee out of his styrofoam cup. “It looks cloudy but it’s still really hot so I think it’ll be fine.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Soobin agrees. He takes a seat in the nearest camping chair and munches on one of the croissants Beomgyu brought for their trip. “It’s hotter during the day and colder at night, the hike would be better in the late afternoon.”

Before anybody can say anything, Beomgyu walks out of the tent just then looking a little hungover.

Yeonjun snorts. “Morning.”

Beomgyu merely grunts and throws himself onto Yeonjun who sits on a camping chair not far from Soobin. He buries his face into Yeonjun’s neck and groans, “Why do people let me drink?”

Yeonjun pats his back. “There there, little honey bee. Do you want me to make you coffee or something?”

Beomgyu shakes his head. “Just let me sit here.”

Yeonjun shrugs. “We were talking about what to do today. Kai suggested a swim in the river before lunch and a hike late afternoon.”

He mumbles something Yeonjun can’t quite catch but he just assumes Beomgyu agrees and moves on with the conversation.

They plan their day as they eat breakfast and talk about their first night sleeping in the tents.

“Beomgyu Hyung is such a clingy sleeper,” Kai complains. “When Taehyunnie woke up before him and left the tent he just flipped onto his side and held onto my arm.”

Nobody else can see the embarrassment on Beomgyu’s face except Yeonjun who laughs.

“I have to pry him off me sometimes,” Yeonjun jokes, playfully tugging on Beomgyu’s chestnut curls.

“Did you guys sleep fine?” Kai directs the question at Yeonjun and Soobin. “I’m really sorry about forgetting the sleeping bags.”

“It’s okay NingNing,” Soobin assures him, patting his head affectionately. “Hyung and I slept fine.”

More than fine if Yeonjun is being honest with himself.

Despite having minimal space and essentially sleeping on the ground, Yeonjun had had a peaceful sleep. Waking up next to Soobin also wasn’t something he minded.

“Hyung, let’s take a short walk,” Taehyun stands up and tugs Soobin up. “We can figure out how to get to the river and tell the others when we get back.”

“Good idea actually,” Soobin stretches and looks to Kai. “Wanna come with?”

Kai shakes his head and stands up. “I’m going to take a nap before we go and swim, I didn’t sleep well.”

Soobin frowns in concern but Kai raises his hands and waves them off. “I’m fine Hyungie. Just tired.”

“If you say so,” Soobin glances at him doubtfully as he disappears into the tent. He looks to Beomgyu and Yeonjun. “You guys staying too?”

Yeonjun gestures to Beomgyu still sitting on his lap who looks like he has no plan to move anytime soon.

“Let’s go then,” Soobin hooks his arm through Taehyun’s and they walk off into the forest, chatting in hushed tones as they do.

Yeonjun feels oddly at peace, sitting with his eyes closed and listening to the noise of the forest as he absentmindedly plays with Beomgyu’s hair.

He wishes he could stay in this moment where he doesn’t have to think about his parents.

He’s actually in the process of dozing off to sleep when Beomgyu pipes up. “Did you go straight to bed last night?”

“Nah, I roasted some marshmallows first.”

“On your own?” Beomgyu lifts his head and looks at him in confusion.

Yeonjun shrugs. “Everybody else was tired.”

Beomgyu purses his lips and gets up, fetching a croissant before sitting back down on Yeonjun’s lap with a troubled look on his face.

“Hey,” Yeonjun frowns. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong I just… wanted to tell you something,” Beomgyu munches nervously on his croissant, avoiding Yeonjun’s eyes.

“Is this about Taehyun-ah?” Yeonjun guesses.

Beomgyu snaps his head to Yeonjun. “Huh?”

“He likes you,” Yeonjun says slowly. 

“How do you know that?” Beomgyu asks but doesn’t deny Yeonjun’s previous statement.

“I have eyes,” Yeonjun teases, poking his nose.

“Right,” The look on Beomgyu’s face only grows more troubled.

“Is that what you wanted to talk about?” Yeonjun asks, unsure now.

“It is,” Beomgyu nods his head and stuffs the rest of the croissant into his mouth.

“What about it is bothering you? Taehyun’s really cool, handsome too,” Yeonjun tries prompting his friend into speaking.

“He is,” Beomgyu agrees, sounding a little distracted.

“But,” Yeonjun adds a little half heartedly. “You still like Dimples, right?”

Beomgyu heaves a sigh and mumbles something under his breath. 

“Come again?” Yeonjun leans in closer to hear what he has to say.

“I said,” Beomgyu repeats louder this time. “Yes. I do still like him.”

Yeonjun ignores the weird spike he feels in his heart and asks Beomgyu to get off of him so he can get a drink. He downs a bottle of water before turning to Beomgyu and looks at him expectantly. “So is Taehyun out of the picture?”

Beomgyu scratches his head and looks away. “Not really...”

Yeonjun raises an eyebrow. 

“Okay so we’ve been making out,” Beomgyu tells him casually.

Yeonjun’s jaw- and spoon -drop to the floor. “Beomgyu,  _ what _ ?”

Before Beomgyu can explain, they hear two laughs and Soobin and Taehyun reappear from the forest. 

“The river’s not far,” Taehyun informs them, flopping down onto a chair. “It’s a short walk and there’s a really pretty waterfall too.”

“I’m going to check on Kai,” Soobin announces before disappearing into the tent. 

Yeonjun is still staring at Beomgyu who shoots him a look and mouths  _ later  _ to the older. 

“Erm,” Taehyun looks at Yeonjun in concern. “Hyung, are you okay?” 

Yeonjun shuts his mouth and tries his best to act naturally.

“Perfectly fine,” He coughs. 

There’s so much to unpack with what Beomgyu said but Yeonjun can only smile awkwardly. “I’ve gotta ask Dimples something.”

He doesn’t wait for an answer and goes into the tent Soobin disappeared into a few moments ago. He finds Soobin laying beside Huening Kai with his arm wrapped over the younger as he naps quietly.

Soobin pops an eye open when Yeonjun enters the tent. It looks like Kai had also strung up lights in this tent too, though these are little bulbed lanterns instead of plain fairy lights.

Yeonjun lies on the other side of Kai and props himself up his elbow so he can see Soobin. 

“Ever feel like somebody’s too good of a person to be your friend?” Soobin whispers, looking down at Kai’s peaceful face

“All the time,” Yeonjun whispers back, touching the necklace that hangs around his neck. “But you’re a good person, Binnie.”

Soobin smiles at him and shrugs.

Yeonjun’s eyes drift to his lips and is immediately reminded of last night. He still can’t quite wrap his head around how he had managed to get through the entire night without managing to kiss Soobin. It had felt like a different type of torture altogether.

“We’ve got to stop doing that,” Soobin mutters, ears reddening as he looks at Yeonjun.

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Yeonjun responds, cocking his head to the side.

Soobin scoffs and rolls his eyes. 

But Yeonjun doesn’t miss the way his eyes catch on Yeonjun’s lips either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how do we feel? we're nearing the end of the fic (sad face). there are probably about five (?) chapters left which is crazy when i think about it. felt like we were reading about yeonjun and soobin in the cereal cafe just yesterday haha.  
> what's happening with taegyu? curious to see what you guys think.  
> thank you to every single comment and kudo that you all leave me, i have so much love for every single one of you. whether its you screaming or typing paragraphs, i read (and re-read) them with the biggest smile on my face every time.  
> anyway- hope it was enjoyable, i'll see everybody on friday (:  
> enjoy your week my loveliessss <33

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed ^^ my twitter is [@haechansangel](https://twitter.com/haechansangel) if u wanna follow me on there. please leave comments and kudos if there was anything you liked <3


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